


To Love a Song

by Eimana



Category: Naruto
Genre: Antagonistic-ish Main Character, F/M, Otogakure (Naruto), Romance is NOT the focus of this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-01-26 02:04:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 81,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12546376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eimana/pseuds/Eimana
Summary: Getting a second chance at life in an imaginary world had not been something I’d thought to be possible. But it certainly was not something I was opposed to... Until I knew where exactly this new life would take me, that is. Right next to Orochimaru, shaping me, changing me, mutilating me into something unrecognizable. And it would cost the shinobi world dearly.





	1. A Melodious Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a story I've been posting only on Fanfiction.net and had 11 chapters as of the time I posted this but I decided I should try my luck on AO3 as well and see how it goes here. So here it is. An SI born into Otogakure and living her life under the thumb of the most favorite Pedo Snake - Orochimaru!  
> Hope you enjoy the first chapter ^^

I was always sure that life did not simply end with death. Either the cycle of life would repeat itself, you would go to heaven, hell, paradise, purgatory, or WHATEVER! Point is, not once did I believe that death was truly what made you stop existing. Full stop.

And, I was right. Though I did not think I'd find out this bit of information this soon. I had barely lived a little over two decades of my life and poof, just like that, it ended. Embarrassingly so. Well, now I knew better than to jump and sing like crazy while showering. I wondered how long it will take for people to find my corpse. I mean… I did live alone, in a foreign country with barely any friends.

Oh well. Couldn't say that I was sad that my previous life ended. It was a horribly boring one, honestly. Starting my first year in university, being the socially awkward nerd that I was… am… Needless to say, I did not expect much from life. I could not pursue my dreams and become a musician, I did not have the money to travel the world like I wished to, and I had no family. Well, my biological family was alive and well but… I never saw them as such. I knew I had been born and raised to fix the mistakes of my older sister. Get a successful and well-paid job, have a nice family, take care of my parents… not parents… Well, glad that's over. I had been thinking about how to avoid being their caretaker by dumping them on my sister, but thankfully that would not be necessary anymore. I was dead, hah!

Though death was quite comforting, I must say.

As I was surrounded by warmth and darkness, I kept thinking about my previous life, how I had lived, the choices I had made and the regrets I had left behind. I was pretty sure I had already passed the plane of the living. I don't know why I was so sure; maybe I was simply unconscious. Just because I slipped and hit my head did not mean automatic death. Maybe I was in a coma? But something inside me, let's call it a gut feeling (did I even have guts anymore?) simply told me that I was well and beyond dead.

I wondered what was ahead of me, if where I currently resided was some kind of limbo, seeing as I could feel, hear and see absolutely nothing. I wondered if I was waiting for some type of judgment to be passed down on me. Kinda like being on the waiting list for heaven or hell. Which of those two would I be sorted to?

I had done nothing wrong in my life. Maybe wished a few deaths here and there, imagined how nice it would have been to kill a few people with my own hands, dreamed of some fantasy torture sessions… Ugh… But I never acted on them?

I really hoped the heaven and hell theory was not true. I did not want to suffer eternally for thoughts I couldn't help having! Maybe I could become a demon somehow? At least Supernatural seemed to be quite sure of that happening.

And as thought after thought after thought crossed my mind, some meaningful and some… less so, I felt a sudden pressure. An ache of sorts. Like the life was being squeezed out of me, pun intended. And I moved. I felt my body move and kick and punch and thrashing all over. I had not realized I had been contained in such a tight space. It felt suffocating, made me claustrophobic beyond reason. I wanted out. OUT!

The pressure grew and grew with each passing second, at one point it felt so tight, I thought I was going to die from lack of air (which would be ridiculous seeing as I was already dead and could not breathe to begin with) until light entered my overly sensitive eyes.

A cold gust hit my wet skin and blurry images surrounded me. My lungs ached as I breathed in the oxygen for the first time in what felt like an eternity. My ears rang with that annoying buzz and my body tingled. It felt weird and unpleasant and I did not know what to do in such a situation. So, I did the only thing my body could think of doing… I cried. And cried. And cried some more accompanied by painful screams.

And all this movement, all this screaming, all this crying… it was so tiring. I realized my body getting weaker by the moment, my screams slowly subsiding though my tears continued to flow as sleep slowly took me over.

Sleep.

Something I did not think I'd experience ever again.

**(To Love a Song)**

The next time I woke up, I was calmer and more aware of my situation. My surroundings were still hella blurry. I could recognize shapes, but any detail was completely lost on me. But I did understand one thing. I was alive. Alive and apparently in a body five times smaller than that of what it should have been. I was an infant.

Of course, it did not take me long to come to a conclusion. Since I was a fierce believer in life after death, I knew I had been reborn. And it seemed that my memories of my previous life were still very much intact. Which by all means should not have happened. It was an anomaly. I was an anomaly.

And I felt strangely pleased by that.

This. I really liked this. Having a fresh start and the knowledge of a previous life? Wasn't this something everyone with regrets dreamed of? I could pursue my dreams, correct the mistakes I did the first time around, be better and more _efficient_.

Yes.

Yes, I liked this very much.

I started giggling, happiness filling my new body. Whatever entity watched over this world, I wanted to thank them for this second chance.

I would make the most of my life this time around.

I would not let it go to waste.

**(To Love a Song)**

Fast forward a few weeks later, my vision and hearing had cleared for the most part and I could make out my surroundings and the people in my life much better (though they needed to be at a certain distance from me. Too far and I would be as blind as a bat. And too close… well everyone could see squat when too close.)

At first, I did not notice anything amiss. I had a beautiful mother with long black hair, pale skin and dark brown eyes, and a really handsome father as well, who had chestnut hair and green eyes. Really. Quite handsome.

The house might have been a bit old-fashioned? Kinda Japanese styled if I paid close attention to it. I also realized that the language they spoke was also, most likely, Japanese. Having watched so many subbed anime, I'd be damned if I did not recognize this particular language. So, logically, I assumed I was born somewhere in Japan. Though my parents did not look entirely Asian. Maybe my mother did but my father had a really European look. I'd know. I used to live there after all.

Aside from those perceptions, life was pleasant as a baby. My mother was wonderful, changed my diapers every day, bathed me gently, fed me her boob milk.

I was totally not ashamed to admit that. For survival, a baby must do what a baby must do.

Except for being bored out of my mind, having nothing to stimulate my brain, as TV did not appear to exist here (or maybe they simply weren't a fan of TV? Maybe they had a laptop of sorts? Not that I had seen any) I let myself be manhandled without any resistance and had a pleasant infant's life. Everything was wonderfully peaceful until...

My dear new father came home wearing strange clothing. Clothing I recognized, but couldn't pinpoint from where. Clothing which reminded me of ninjas, honestly.

It had been so obvious at that time. _Especially_ since I thought of the word ninja. However, it did not click until my eyes rested on his headband.

Having a second chance at life, with the knowledge of an adult to boot, was already spectacular. Being born into an anime was even better. Having been born in the Narutoverse… I was beyond _pleased_. So, sooooo pleased that I started laughing like a maniac… if I could of course. Seeing as I was but a baby, it sounded more like the adorable hysterical laughter of a sweet child.

I wondered what timeline I was born into. If I would meet Kakashi or Naruto or any of the Akatsuki members. Maybe one of the Sannins? Oh, oh! What if I was born into their timeline! Wouldn't it be AWESOME if I somehow ended up on their team? Oh wait, then either Tsunade or Orochi-pedo-maru would have to be replaced. Obviously, Jiraiya would be on the team one way or another. Ah wait, what gender was I even? Please tell me I was born a dude! I don't wanna deal with periods again! Ugh, puberty was gonna suck. But who caressssss, I was born in a ninja woooooorld! HELL YEAH!

Buried in my fantasies, I had failed to take note of the sign on the headband my father wore. I had assumed I was born into Konohagakure, of course. What entity would put me in any other country if not Konoha? That would be silly, no?

In the middle of my musings, however, as he lifted me up to see how happy his baby child was and wanting to hold me, I came face to face with the engraved symbol on his headband.

Wha…

What the fuck?

A music note?

It took me a while to process it. But once it clicked…

No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I DON'T WANNA!

DON'TWANNADON'TWANNADON'TWANNAAAAAAAA!

I wanted to be in Konoha or hell even Suna where all the cool ninjas came from not from fucking Otogakure!

I thought being _reborn_ into a FREAKING anime was supposed to be a sign of having to change the plot or shit like that (I might have read one too many fanfictions)?!

You can't tell me I was born into freaking SOUND which fucking HATED Konoha and were enemies and **Orochimaru's** creepy bases were here and experimented on people left and right, like nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I had no information over this STUPID village, no notable ninja came from here even! THEY WERE ALL JUST CANNON FODDER!

How the hell was I even supposed to know what timeline I was even born into? HOW?

My new parents got quite the heart attack seeing their laughing, happy baby turn into a crying, screaming disaster.

WELL FUCK THEM, I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK MYSELF DAMMIT. I wanted to be with the cool group! What was I supposed to do now? Become a sound ninja, then what? Fight against Konoha? Defect? Yeah, fat chance with Orochimaru here.

Ugh.

I was tired.

I needed a nap.

I would think this over again after I found out a little more about the timeline I was born into. If I even could.

And I swear to god (if such a thing exists) that I will screw the plot one way or another. LIKE HELL AM I STAYING SILENT!

Anyway… nap.

And so, I headed to sleep in my mother's arms as she rocked me back and forth after having taken me from the clutches of my panicked father.

**(To Love a Song)**

A few weeks after THAT revelation, I had calmed down and accepted my situation. I was disappointed. Extremely so. Sound barely had any involvement in Naruto. Not that I knew of anyway. I did not watch the whole anime or read the manga… Honestly, after the Pein arc I barely knew squat. Only some stuff I had read here and there, spoiled myself real nice.

Since I wanted to fuck the plot though, my future knowledge would bring me so far anyway.

If I was even born into that _timeline_ in the first place.

On another note, I finally knew my name and gender. I had associated myself with my old name up until now, but it would do me no good to go by the identity of my former self. I was, to my further disappointment, once again a girl, but at least I was accustomed to this gender. Hopefully, this time around, I would not end up flat as a board. A bigger butt wouldn't be bad either.

My new name though, pleased me quite a bit. It had a nice ring to it. Aika.

Haruta Aika.

Even though disappointed in the situation I found myself in, I guess I should be thankful that I was even born into a fictional world. What were the chances of that happening?

I would make this work. Somehow, I would get myself invested in this life and spice it up. I was not gonna sit around and have a quiet life. One boring life was one such life too many.

Beware shinobi world, as you won't know what force hit you!

Well then… back to planning out my new life (insert creepy baby giggle here).


	2. Charming the Snake

Six months had passed since my rebirth into the Naruto world. My life as a baby was quite boring, so I truly had nothing of importance to report. The only activity I could do in this state was think, and think I did. My mother and father probably thought I was a very quiet and well behaved baby, since I rarely cried and laughed more often than not at my own musings. Had I been an adult, that would have been mighty creepy. Alas, I wasn't.

I wrecked my brain about ANY detail about Otogakure and also tried to observe my parents in their daily activities. I was obviously an only child and a first born as well. My parents looked rather young. My father was an average ninja as far as I could tell, nothing notable about him as far. My mother, on the other hand, seemed to be a civilian housewife. With that, I could say with confidence, my parents held zero impact on the story and I most likely would also not discover much by trying to study them any further. I understood that I would get no special ability from them as heritage, meaning, the only way for me to become a monster ninja would be with hard work.

I sighed. Well, I guess I couldn't have everything that I wished for. Should have realized that when I discovered Otogakure was my home country.

From the series itself, I knew Orochimaru was a constant presence in this village. After all, this was where most of his bases were, if my memory wasn't failing me. And the information would probably fade with time once I grew older, so better straighten things out now rather than later.

One primary problem I saw with Orochi-pedo-maru being the unofficial leader of Sound was that I could not stay under his radar for long if I showed exceptional skills. Meaning, I couldn't act being a prodigy child if I wanted to stay anonymous from Pedo Snake. That would certainly make my training much more difficult as I would have to study at the pace of the rest of the children, meaning I would have to hold back. And holding back never lead to one becoming powerful.

But I truly did not want him to notice me! What if he decided I was best fit for his new body till Sasuke came around? That would certainly be fucking horrible! I wanted to live a long life this time, thank you very much.

And then there was the shit with the curse mark and all that. I knew Sasuke's cursed seal was the most powerful and also the one with the least side effects (as far as I was aware, the only backside was anger issues). All the others had lethal side effects which I could not afford (obviously ignoring the 90% mortality rate).

Meaning, if I caught Orochimaru's attention, I would be guaranteed to get his cursed seal and the probability I'd get Sasuke's curse was very, very low.

With those thoughts in mind, I laid myself two choices: either act like an average ninja and stay out of Orochimaru's sight, avoiding the fate of becoming a test subject to his crazy and lethal experiments (though it was not a 100% guarantee he would still not use me for his experimentations), or act like a prodigy I planned on being and catch his eye, maybe get him to train me, most likely get marked by his cursed seal and hopefully survive with the least amount of damage.

Both choices sounded awful. With one making it harder to come on top and the other leaving me with no choice but to fall victim to his evil plans. And I had no desire to become a mere puppet.

How did Sasuke even get out of this mess? Well, I guess he was lucky that he got the best of the curse seals in the first place, and then he also had the sharingan to do his dirty work, plus summoning jutsu straight from Orochimaru's own scroll, not to mention his skill and power. Meaning, a lot of luck, a lot of natural skill, _sharingaaaaaan_ and a lot of hard work.

Which one of those did I have? As of now… maybe luck was on my side? The other two I had yet to discover and develop. Obviously, I was not getting some type of kekkei genkai in this life, so that was out.

Ugh… My future did not look very peachy, both paths being horrible to choose from.

Could I somehow escape Otogakure and go to Konoha, or anywhere, really?

As an infant that seemed pretty impossible. Sound being an enemy of Konoha didn't paint me in a good light either. And I'd be leaving my new family behind.

I had yet to grow attached to my new father and mother but they seemed to have the potential of being good parents. I did not want to deny myself having a real family this time around.

I also had the option of becoming a missing nin once I came to that point… But then I wanted a role that would influence the plot majorly and that would mean joining Akatsuki. Which was terrible, considering that there was Obito, Madara with his plans and all the backstabbing and manipulating which would eventually happen. And on top of all these, I had no guarantee that I would be able to join anyway.

Ugh, Orochimaruuuuuuuuuuu! Why did that pedophilic sucker have to ruin everything!

"Aika-chan!" My attention turned to my mother, whose name I still had to learn, though I did try my best to call out to her.

"Mmmma-mma." That was pretty good.

I saw my mother's eyes tear up as she lifted me up and practically suffocated me with her chest due to sheer joy. Parents. So emotional over the simplest things.

She called out, talking in Japanese with my father who had just entered the house, most likely wanting to tell him how I had said my first words or something along those lines. Though it wasn't the first time I had attempted to talk, but I guess this time it was coherent enough to be understood.

However, instead of being overjoyed with my linguistic progress, as I looked at my father's face, he frowned.

Seemed like something had happened in the ninja world.

Some more talking, which I tried _really_ hard to understand, I could simply make out the words 'Orochimaru,' which already filled me with dread and 'meet'. I could not make out the meaning of the rest of the words.

From the conversation, my mother's face immediately morphed into a worried one. Ally or not, it seemed Orochimaru could scare even his own supporters. Not that I blamed them, he was one creepy stalker who loved children (in a pedophilic way) and was a closet pervert, of that I was sure.

Despite the terrified state my mother seemed to be, I could not bring myself to feel worried. I was an infant and had as of now, no business with the shinobi world. I should be safe for the next 5 years or so.

I, of course, was very much very wrong.

Because on that very same day, all the children of Otogakure, newborn as well as toddlers were gathered, all waiting for one man to make his appearance.

At that moment, I still had yet to grasp my situation, so, to ease my boredom, thinking it probably was some type of festival for children or shit like that (yeah right), I played with my mother's long black hair. I honestly wondered what I looked like, I had yet to encounter a mirror. The only thing I knew was that I was one pale panty pooper.

So, when I felt the sinister presence of something, I was quite shocked to see Orochi-fucking-maru standing at the beginning of the line of children.

Oh dear lord, how much of a pedophile can one being be!

I immediately caught on on what was going on. He was evaluating how strong the next generation would be, clearly disappointed with the current one. He looked over child after child, most of whom were crying their eyes out in his presence, though some were awfully quiet. On some he barely took notice while on others his eyes remained still for several minutes.

Poor children. With such a creepy presence in front of them, I really couldn't blame them for being snotty brats.

My main problem with this situation, however, was that there really weren't that many children. It wasn't long before it was my turn to be dissected by Pedo Snake's eyes.

And then everything went down the drain. 'Cause I looked at him. And I looked at his chest. The sight which greeted me was one I would have never dreamed of… Orochimaru had boobs.

I really, _really_ wanted to simply stay out of his sight for a while longer. Had been my _only_ wish! Truly! I couldn't care less if I had been born with excessive talent to be a ninja or not. Hard work would have solved that problem in no time!

Why, oh why did fate want to torture me, by giving me everything and TWISTING it into a sick game?

For when I saw Orochimaru with boobs… I laughed. And being an infant with barely any control over my actions, that laugh was pretty darn loud and cheerful for a baby having met the eyes of a terrifying mo…mo... pffff… I… no… just… HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I couldn't think straight, OROCHIMARU WAS A TRANNY!

A man, whose _intelligence_ was unmeasurable, a man whose name _terrified_ people young or old, one of the three _sannins_ , one of the most powerful shinobi in the entire Narutoverse had huge **tits**.

I… I couldn't handle this.

This was too much.

The boobs did suit him though.

Pkkkkhhh!

And the laughing went on.

**(To Love a Song)**

Orochimaru was… stunned. Never in his entire career as a shinobi, did he make one single child laugh. On the contrary, most of them were crying and screaming their lungs out at his presence.

He did not know if he should be impressed or annoyed at the baby's laughter.

The parents of the child immediately tried to quieten her but to no avail. The child seemed to have a blast at Orochimaru's presence.

Deciding to be impressed with the child instead of annoyed, he further tested the baby. He increased his killing intend, his suppressed aura slightly oozing.

The crying of the children around him increased. His ears definitely did not appreciate the noise. However, he tried to ignore all the noise of the parents desperately trying to calm their children and focused on the baby in front of him.

It had stilled.

**(To Love a Song)**

My laughter died down as I felt something evil creep down my spine. It was as if the air was thicker, polluted and simply not appropriate to breathe in. And so, I did not breathe. I simply observed the snake in front of me (because I could not see Orochimaru as a human being), my eyes wide with shock.

I felt my body starting to tremble. I felt like screaming my lungs out, cry myself to sleep and hopefully by the time I woke up, this presence would be gone! And yet, I did neither. I did not scream. I did not cry. Despite the difficulty I had in controlling this infant's body, for once, it did as my mind commanded. It just… It felt like my life would end if I dared as much as utter a peep from myself.

I could not stop the trembling, the tears just at the edge of my eyes. But I did not cry. I simply held my breath and looked the snake in the eye.

And… it smiled.

Orochimaru smiled.

I felt the blood drain from my face, felt how weak I truly was, how much I wanted to simply bury my face in my mother's chest and hide away from the world. I felt so _vulnerable_.

Yet I could not tear my eyes away.

This terrifying presence...

 _"What's your child's name?"_ Orochimaru spoke. His voice just as feminine as his curves.

"A..Aika. Haruta Aika." My father responded nervously.

Well fuck… there goes the plan staying under his radar.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuuuuckkkk.

 _"Report to me of your child's progress."_ Another sentence I could not understand.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

**(To Love a Song)**

I was once again at the safety of my home, however, the tension built from meeting Orochimaru had yet to leave.

My parents left me in my crib before heading to the living room to discuss whatever had happened today.

Orochimaru was a terrifying man. That aura… I knew it was barely 1% of his sinister will that had oozed. After all, I as well as the rest of the children were alive as proof. No doubt, if he had gone full force killing intent my heart would have failed.

But I was still alive. And Orochimaru had taken notice of me. I took one of the toys left in my crib and started grinding it with my gums. The itch of my teeth coming out increased with my nervousness.

I had no idea what to do. My heart was beating a mile per second and I did not know if I should laugh, scream or cry. I had honestly thought I would have a few years off before facing Orochimaru, but to come face to face with him barely six months after my rebirth… And I had acted so stupidly! I had laughed.

Who laughed at Orochimaru's face unless you had the power of a god?

As far as I understood, he had asked for my name, which meant he would be keeping tabs on me. In other words, staying under Orochimaru's radar was out of the question.

What was I supposed to do?

I simply kept chewing as my thoughts went on a marathon.

I needed to calm down.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Orochimaru knew I was no normal child, of that I had no doubt. Acting average now would do me no good; I would end up in his laboratory, one way or another. I either went there on his or my terms and obviously, the latter option would be the goal.

So, I would aim to become a prodigy child, someone valuable to him.

I needed to impress him, to show him I was worth his time. If Orochimaru was gonna keep an eye on me, then he might as well hand me over some of his skills. He was one powerful man; he could teach me a lot more than I could study on my own.

I needed to learn to control my current body ASAP and had to start training myself for durability before I could even begin to use any jutsu.

I would need to meditate to at least get a feel for this new energy flowing inside me and as well think of what fighting style I would want to pursue.

I had no doubt I would need to integrate snakes in my style. The goal was to get Orochimaru to be my teacher, my _sensei_ , as much as I hated the thought of it. And I would need to hope that the timeline I was born in was the same as that of Naruto and Sasuke, then I could guarantee the death of Orochimaru, or at least some type of freedom before he got sealed or whatever happened to him afterwards.

The curse seal would be a problem, I would need to avoid it at all costs, though I had a feeling I could not escape that fate either. I just needed to somehow survive it, genes be damned.

I needed to start researching how to break the seal and hope that I would be part of the 10% which would survive the curse once I took it.

So many plans, so many thoughts, all revolving around Orochimaru. So far with deciding my own fate huh.

Well… at least I liked snakes? Being in Otogakure would also mean that I would have Sound Release techniques. That kinda suited my inner musician since I loved singing in my previous life.

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts.

I would survive this. And I would make the best of it.

For now, the goal would be to survive Orochimaru. Whatever came after that would have to wait.

…

Fucking Orochimaru.

DAMNIT!

Why did he have to enter the picture so early?!

All this pent-up frustration, the negative thoughts, the stress put on this infant's body. I could not keep my tears at bay any longer. And so, I let myself cry.

I was stupid to think that life in an anime would be exciting. It was terrifying! So terrifying when faced with such a monster! How was I going to survive this?! I would end up as a lab rat, there was no other way! This whole country was an experiment to that fucking pedophile!

"Aika-chan?" The melodious voice of my mother rang through the room. She saw me crying, face full of tears and snot.

She removed the toy from my mouth, taking me into her arms, where safety calmed my terrified state.

She started singing a lullaby as she often did before I went to sleep. I was glad my new mother was here right now. Her presence filled me with warmth and could feel her love for me.

Yes… I could survive this and I would live my life to the fullest! I had promised myself that. I could not back down. Not even if it cost me an early death. In the end, I would end up reincarnated again after all. Probably not as lucky with memories intact, but I would live again.

I would not fear death.

So, the only path for me was to live on. Live on to the fullest, for there was nothing to fear. Not even Orochimaru. Especially not Orochimaru with boobs.

I would live and be happy at that. It was a promise.


	3. Breezing Through Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a reward to myself for correcting ALL the chapters and removing them of grammar mstakes (at least most of them) here I am posting the third chapter on the same day as the second.
> 
> The rest of the chapters will be posted one day after another. If you don't wanna wait however, and want to binge read them right now, as said in previous notes, they are all available on Fanfiction.net under the same penname.
> 
> Otherwise, if you just hate reading on ffnet, than you will have to be a bit patient :3
> 
> Thanks for reading!

That plan about me becoming a prodigy and stuff… yeah well… easier said than done.

In my previous life, I had been a rather lazy person. Most of what I did came naturally to me and I still performed better than my peers. I would say I was good, definitely above average in almost every field taught to us. Sports, I did without breaking a sweat, I had been an active child in my former childhood, never did anything more than required, my fit physique was all thanks to mother nature and to my childhood games; Art, it ran in my family, drawing was but another specialty I had inherited; Music, having a singing voice and a fine ear for tuning, I never got anything less but the best mark in that field seeing as I also participated in our national child choir; Academics, that I can fully credit to my former mother. She was a strenuous woman, having my sister perform awfully in school, barely passing, I was her beacon of hope to have a smart child.

As a kid, I never understood why my mother was so bent on me being nothing but perfect in all of my subjects, however, with age I understood that it was some sort of rivalry or competition between my aunt and uncle. My cousins were all incredibly smart, I would go as far as label them as geniuses. My mother had always been the least educated in her family, the only one who had never finished her education, the one with the least brains so to speak. Her first child having proven to be an embarrassment, she invested all her time in cultivating me.

It was the reason why I came to dislike my former family (especially my mother as she used me as a trophy child rather than an actual one). My father never cared, simply went to work, brought food on the table and that was basically his role. And my sister was too busy going after the popular kids (meaning the bullies of school, the mean girls so to speak) that we never truly bonded.

But back to this life. After two years of living in the Narutoverse I had soon realized, I had no idea how to properly train myself. I did not know what _hard work_ meant. As mentioned, in my previous life, everything basically had been served to me on a silver platter, taking everything for granted and the only thing I had worked hard for was studying and that was because my mother had been breathing down my neck 24/7 (and because I did have a certain amount of intelligence).

In those two years that had passed, I had learned how to speak Japanese. Albeit with difficulty it seemed. Having had the knowledge of previous languages (as of the time I had died I had been fluent in three languages), it had been excruciating learning a new language in addition to those that I already knew. Children were said to grasp languages in a heartbeat seeing as their brain at those stages was a sponge for new information. My peers were already forming sentences while I struggled understanding the meaning of specific words.

That sponge for me was already soaked, the only thing I had going for myself was that because of the subbed anime I had watched, I knew a few words here and there and had a brief oversight of how the grammar worked (as I had once long ago attempted to learn Japanese, alas I gave up).

So, in the end, Japanese had been a bitch for me to study. However, when I did grasp the gits of it, it was much more fluently than any of the children could speak. I rarely stumbled over my words (and contrary to popular belief, a child's tongue wasn't clumsy at all. Kids simply seemed to like simplifying words) and grammatically the sentences were mostly correct.

But the language barrier had not been the only hurdle I had overcome these past 2 years (now being also able to read simple kanjis). Oh no. It was training my new body. I had been determined that as soon as I knew how to walk without the fear of tripping on air or falling on my bum from imbalance, I would start training my body into shape.

Problem was, not only did I not know with what type of exercises I should start with, but I also realized at that moment how easily I gave up on things. I realized that in my former life, whenever I set my mind to one goal, I would work with furious determination the first few days and give up after maximum of two weeks trying.

And that characteristic was trying to resurface in this life as well. Despite having no knowledge of how to start, I simply put into use some stretching exercises I learned in my previous life and went to doing laps around the huge garden we owned (well, huge for my tiny body). I promised myself that after I was able to read, I would look into properly training my body for taijutsu.

After two weeks, I gave up. My lazy side won over me, fed up with doing silly exercises I had no idea if they would even help, I convinced myself that it would be fine to just leave this kind of training behind and relax and enjoy my new childhood. What could I possibly do anyways at this age.

And then… Orochimaru happened. It reminded me why I had been doing this, why I _needed_ to be doing this.

After almost an entire year and a half of not seeing that freaking snake, he came to visit my home. And… he talked to me. On that day, my parents had been quite on edge.

"Hello Aika-chan" The honorific creeped me out. The boobs were still there though. Those… freaking… boobs…

I glanced at my parents nervously as they stayed a bit further behind me, before facing the snake in front of me.

"H… hello s…" do I say sir? Miss? How would I know he was a man to begin with? I had only seen him with boobs since our first meeting. And besides, are kids my age able to distinguish gender?

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow.

Shit… did he notice I wanted to say sir? Shitshitshit… ugh… Puppy dog eyes! I need to do the famed puppy dog eyes children used to get away with shit!

And I did.

Orochimaru looked even more suspicious if anything else.

"My name is Orochimaru." He introduced himself. Well, I already knew THAT bit of information, freaking Pedo Snake.

"Um… Nice to meet you Orochimaru-sama" I said cheerfully, but honestly, mentally I was gagging and screaming. Orochimaru-SAMA. Whyyyyy? Why meeeeeeee?

Another raised brow.

I did not like those raised brows.

Orochimaru faced my parents.

"Is she always this cheerful?" He asked.

"She isn't very often amongst strangers Orochimaru-s…sama, so we are not s…sure." My mother replied carefully.

Oh… Oh hell… Did I act too cheerful around him? I mentally slapped myself. OF FUCKING COURSE I WAS. CHILDREN MY AGE, WHEN HE GATHERED US, WERE CRYING THEIR EYES OUT AND HERE I WAS, NOT ONLY SPEAKING FLUENTLY JAPANESE BUT ALSO BEING PERFECTLY NORMAL AND CHEERFUL IN HIS PRESENCE.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Someone please shoot me.

His gaze was back on me.

"You speak quite well for such a little girl."

Ok what do I do now? Start crying out of the blue? Kinda late after greeting him with a fucking smile! Ughhhh…

"T… Thank you… Orochimaru-sama" I said a bit shyly.

SHOOT ME.

"Aika-chan" he called out my name.

I shivered violently. God, can he be more of a pedophile than at that moment?

"Y…yes?"

"Are you, by any chance, happy to see me?"

OF FUCKING COURSE NOT YOU TERRIFYING MONSTER!

I glanced once again at my parents. They looked away. Cowards. DAMN COWARDS!

"I…"

His boobs bounced. Orochimaru, while bending down to reach my level, getting a closer look at my face… his TSUNADE boobs… bounced.

"Pfft…" I quickly slapped my mouth shut. Oh my god, when was he going to switch his body, he can't possibly remain forever with tits, PLEASE I WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE!

I squashed my laughter down.

Concentrate Aika. CONCENTRATE DAMN IT! THIS MAN CAN KILL U WITHOUT LIFTING A FINGER, DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID DAMN IT AIKA.

This emotional stress. It was too much. Gosh I hated coming face to face with this snake.

Orochimaru looked stunned before narrowing his eyes after.

"Is something funny?"

I was screaming in my mind. How was I supposed to cover this?

And I came to the conclusion, truth is sometimes the best answer to give… I had been a brutally honest person in my previous life. I almost never lied. And when I did, they were at LEAST half truths. And as a child, no one would fault me for being honest.

So, I said the truth.

"The huge balloons bouncing look funny." My voice full of childish innocence.

His expression was… glorious.

He was stunned into silence, my parents gasping, horrified of my words. I only hoped I would live through this.

"A…Aika-chan! You can't say that, it's impolite!" My mother scolded as she quickly ran by my side.

"Orochimaru-sama, please forgive this child, she did not know what she was saying!" She bowed low, her hand on my head, pushing to do the same.

Orochimaru though. His eyes were wide open, now staring at his own cleavage, completely ignoring my mother and I. And then… I felt the air thicken around me. His eyes dark and full of malice.

Shit.

Mother fucking son of a fucking bitch.

And as soon as the evil aura had started to spread, it left just as suddenly.

"You have an interesting child Haruta Sakumo." Pedo Snake looked at my horrified father briefly before returning his creepy snake eyes to me (currently, still shocked from the brief encounter with his terrifying killing intent).

"Goodbye Aika-chan. We'll be meeting soon again"

FUCK.

**(To Love a Song)**

The next day I immediately looked into books for proper exercises, how to increase my flexibility, my overall speed, my strength as well as basic stances in taijutsu.

A dictionary was always by my side, I could not afford to wait any longer. I could not do it like in my previous life, simply trusting my talents and have luck have its way.

Luck was proving to be the furthest in this world for me, Orochimaru had already promised to meet me again.

I could not comprehend why he even came to meet me in the first place though! Simply laughing at him as a baby shouldn't have made him THAT curious about me. So, I asked my parents.

Apparently, I wasn't the only child he had visited. I was guessing he visited only the children which had shown promise at the time of his inspection. But instead of gathering them in the open like last time, he visited them in environments they felt safe.

My poor parents. They had no idea what to do with me. They did not know if I was a smart and cheerful child or plain abnormal. What child acted remotely friendly and cheerful in front of that CREEPER?

Yeah… I was not very good at this acting childish act. Not when it came to Orochi-pedo-maru! With any other adult, this act would have fooled them, I would have been pictured as a smart sweet and happy child. But you were never cheerful in HIS presence. It was _unheard_ of.

Damn myself. Damn the show. Damn the boobs. Seriously, this whole mess was the fault of his cleavage. Why did he even choose such a body in the first place? Infuriating man… errr… woman… err… SNAKE!

And besides, doesn't he modify his body to look like his former self? Doesn't he have a man's pride or shit like that? Why didn't he get rid of them yet? DON'T THEY GET IN THE WAY DAMNIT?

Just when I had started to forget about that monster, he HAD to remind me of his presence didn't he. I was a fool! I could not afford to be lazy, to _enjoy_ my childhood. I had had one childhood, I didn't need a second one.

From then on, I trained like a mad man, never did I want to be reminded again of his existence in such a way. He would be a constant motivation for me to strive higher, to be better, for I could not afford anything less but perfect.

It was tiring and I often wanted to give up, I admit. I was putting a lot of pressure on this body. I spent at least one hour exercising each day on my own, always outside the sight of my parents. I would go for runs and play with children my age for that was also a way of training. I would often get into fights, just to test my strength against my peers and would challenge them, to see who ran faster, who had better stamina, all disguised as games.

Besides the physical training I was putting my body into, I started reading more as well. Especially information about chakra.

I had not been aware as a baby, as my chakra coils were undeveloped and hardly produced any chakra flow. With age however, I started noticing some type of buzzing under my skin. I had barely taken notice of it in the beginning, thinking it was nothing. However, the presence grew louder and louder, making it difficult to ignore. I thought I was sick, that maybe I had caught some type of disease. And then I understood… It was chakra. Having lived 20 years of my previous life without it, the sudden presence of this power stuck out to me like an extra limb. A limb I had no idea how to utilize.

Therefore, books. Lots and lots of books about chakra in general and chakra control, at what age it was safe to use and what exercises were best for beginners. And did I mention I hated reading books?

**(To Love a Song)**

At the age of three I could easily defeat children twice my age and in speed, they couldn't even get close to winning.

My parents were quite worried about me. As I progressed, I became stranger and stranger for a child. I would get into fights with children repeatedly, would challenge them, they could not understand why I seemed to be so hostile. Yet, I somehow still managed to get the children to play with me. Sometimes, they looked at me, a hint of fear apparent in their eyes.

Orochimaru did not help my case either. He did not visit much, since the last terrifying meeting, I had seen him twice. His boobs were, to my relief, gone. So, no more bouncing and spontaneous laughter from me.

He did not seem to have taken a new body though, he still possessed a feminine physique. I had the feeling… he removed his cleavage because of my comment.

Thankfully, when I came to that revelation, I was on my lonesome in my room, of course, laughing my ass off.

Anyways, back to Pedo Snake's visits. It seemed that daddy dearest had been reporting of my achievements to Orochimaru.

"You seem quite bright, Aika-chan" I really hated the way he said my name.

The conversations I had with him on the third meeting, unlike the previous one, had been much longer.

"Want to go for a walk with me?"

No. No I did not want to go on a walk with him. Unfortunately, I had no choice. I felt like I was being taken to his favorite raping place. He was so unnerving, so darn CREEPY. In the anime, I had considered him handsome, like honestly, I truly thought the snake look suited him. In real life though, it was a completely different matter. His skin was deathly pale, looking almost corpse like, his eyes an unnerving yellow with split pupils and his features looked too manly compared to his delicate looking body. He looked so _wrong_.

And yet, I took his hand, waved back at my parents and we went for a walk. The thing is. I TOOK HIS HAND. It had been a habit I developed amongst adults (mostly my parents) where I would take their hand whenever we went for a walk, to appear as much my age considering how unnerved my parents already were.

Ugh. I was making way too many mistakes around this creature.

Once again, Orochimaru was in shock. It seemed, our meetings would NEVER end without Orochimaru being mind-blown by something STUPID I did.

Thankfully, he let go of my hand, a cold look directed my way.

I, of course, smiled innocently.

At this point, I simply gave up on myself. I somehow ALWAYS managed to act wrongly in front of him. Having previous knowledge of him and an opinion on his person (namely him being a closet pervert), despite him being very much very real and very dangerous, I could not stop from acting reckless in front of him. Him suppressing his aura did not help either, letting me forget sometimes that this snake could snap my neck with his pinky.

As we walked, he asked me several questions, what I had been learning, how well I could read, what I had been reading and why I had been reading in the first place.

I answered everything truthfully, the last question's answer only a half truth. I could hardly tell him, I was reading to be intelligent enough to get into his good graces, get him to train me and then try to kill him after Uchiha arrived and finished his training with him as well…

However, I did not stop just by me answering _his_ questions. I set some questions of my own. Namely, things I had not understood from the books I had read and had not had the guts to ask my parents about (but somehow had the guts to ask Orochimaru obviously).

Seeing as I wanted to impress Orochimaru anyways, showing my level of intelligence could only be of my advantage. Or it could present me dumber than I actually am, there are stupid questions as well after all.

But, I had already painted a target on my back, I was ending up on his dissecting table one way or another. So, what could get worse than this?

Surprisingly, he answered my questions very thoroughly. He was a very good teacher, which shocked me, his answers very easy to understand.

**(To Love a Song)**

The fourth meeting had been similar to the third one, filled with conversations about my knowledge and me asking him questions about things I did not really get.

Since then, I had started writing down whatever information I wanted to study but could not find a book on it or simply did not understand since it had not been properly explained, waiting for our next meeting to ask again.

All this training and learning took most of my day away, however, no human, especially a child (or in this case, a child's body) could handle all this workload and not be stressed.

I was no bookworm, never was, I did not enjoy all the reading, the exercises partially fun. They were all a necessity. So, I had started to sing whenever I would feel a headache crawl up my temples, when I started to feel too tired or when I just needed a break from all this crazy regime I had built. It was the only time I felt truly relaxed.

I had been delighted to realize, that I had a good singing voice in this life as well, if not even better. I had tested my capabilities, how high and how low I could sing, far outstretching my former vocal range. And I still had a good ear. I would never allow myself to sing out of tune.

Once this whole craziness had calmed down and I felt I was good enough to take this training a notch down, I would add to my list learning some type of instrument (preferring to play the piano, but logically deciding to play the flute would be more efficient as it was a mobile instrument and I had seen it often being used in combat). It would be the first time I would learn how to play an instrument, my former mother having forbidden me to pursue my artistic dreams, being keen on me studying rather than wasting money in the musical field.

It was a bit ironic, that the songs I kept singing to myself the most were openings of Naruto Shippuden, my two favorites being Blue Bird and Sha La La. I was glad to know that the lyrics had stuck with me through to this life with the added bonus of understanding them and actually correcting some of the lyrics I had memorized wrongly.

Another thing, I had finally discovered the mirror in our home and had been eager to see what I looked like.

As told previously, I already knew I had a fair complex, my appearance definitely favoring my mother's, having inherited her long black straight hair as well as her eye shape, nose and lips. I was extremely happy to notice though that the eye color had come from my father. I had rich emerald eyes. I had always loved green eyes, envious of my sister owning them while I had boring brown ones. All in all, I was a cute child I would say. Long hair quite suited me, so I was planning on continue growing it. Or should I opt for the practical option?

Eh… That's what hair ties are for.

The rest of my toddler years continued the same, train, study, sing, train, study, sing, BAM OROCHIMARU SURPRISE, trains, study, sing with the added bonus that once I reached 5 years of age, chakra control training was added to the already packed schedule.

But, it wasn't long before I would have to rearrange this regime, since with the age of 6 ninja academy would begin. Or at least, I thought I would be going to the ninja Academy.

As always, my assumption was wrong, as Orochimaru dearest certainly had different plans for me.

My years as his lab rat would soon begin and I did not know if I would benefit from them or if they would destroy me. In this case, only time would tell, and I prayed to whatever entity sent me here that I would survive this without ever lasting damage.


	4. Into the Snake's Den

My 6th birthday had been but a few weeks ago, celebration only between my mother, father and myself of course. Despite being an "active" child, always going out to play (read: beat up other children), I had not formed any bonds with any of the other children.

And though, as of now, being vertically challenged myself, I simply could not STAND befriending any of the other vertically challenged brats I forced myself to meet up with every day. In my previous life, I always harbored a dislike for children, annoying little shits that they were. Devils really. An hour with someone below the age of 13 was MORE than enough for me.

Thus, naturally, I refused to invite any of the children I met during "play time" for my birthday and thankfully my parents had respected that wish.

Though, speaking of my parents, I had come to notice over the years that they kept distancing themselves from myself. I would have shaken it off as a process of growing up, giving me more space to form my own person, if not for the _looks_ they gave me when they thought I wasn't paying attention to them. They varied between worried, disgusted and frightened looks. Honestly, it did not feel nice to be under such stares.

Of course, I couldn't really blame them for their reactions. Between me being a child genius (yeah right) and socially stunned except for when I was in Orochimaru's presence (which made the situation ten times worse), it was in their right to be nervous around such a child. After all, I wasn't truly a child. And I never would be truly theirs.

So naturally they would try for a second baby and hope they would not end up with the same result as little old messed up me. After all, this child turned out to be a complete failure in their eyes. Or maybe too much of a success? I mean, Orochimaru did hold them now in a higher "position" because of me. But then again, being in the focus point of Orochimaru never was nay good.

It hurt. Of course, it hurt. I had hoped to finally have a true familial bond, one where no one would judge you for your weird quirks. This was a ninja world after all, where murder was seen completely normal and at times even was hailed upon. If no one judged you for killing, how could they judge you for anything else.

Apparently, they could. And they did. They didn't even try to get to understand me. If anything, with each interaction I had with Orochimaru, they seemed to get further from me, no questions asked.

Hope soon turned sour, realizing they would never be my family and with each passing day, the sadness that had been growing inside me slowly turned into anger. And anger finally turned into disgust. I started despising them. Now, they weren't the only ones giving looks at their direction when they did not pay attention. So much for good parenting. Spineless idiots the lot of them honestly. I bet the reason they even fed me was because Orochimaru would have their heads if I starved to death, not because I'm their child. In the end, our relationship became much like my former one. No… not even that. It felt so much worse.

I could blame Orochimaru of course. From my point of view, he was the prime reason that destroyed a possible happy future with my family. He was the focus point of all this. I didn't though. It was horrifying to admit but… I looked forward to the meetings with Orochimaru. He had become from creepy terrifying monster to less creepy, still terrifying teacher. Oh, and he finally had gotten rid of his female body THANK THE LORD. His creepiness factor went down a notch with him having a dick again.

I still wanted him very much dead mind you, but now I appreciated his presence for the invaluable information as well as skills he held. Being under this man's tutelage would make me grow that much stronger. Hopefully though, he wouldn't decide to experiment on me any time soon. On that field Orochimaru was unpredictable.

But back to me being now 6 years old. This age. This beautiful number right there represented the age on which I could finally attend the ninja academy of Sound. For months, I had been thinking what I would be learning there, which types of jutsus and what style would fit me the best (if they even taught different combat styles. I only ever read of the standart).

I had already set my heart on the Sound Release jutsus (being the main branch of jutsus executed in Otogakure). I had read plenty of books on them and they seemed powerful enough. Enough to maybe kee up with the monsters that were to come. I trained myself in chakra control as soon as I realized that would be a crucial point, the tree walking technique already under my pocket (though I had yet to try walking on water). I could totally see it fitting with my personality as well as body type. I mean, music plus me plus blasting enemies to oblivion? Hell yes!

Speaking of body type, I had discovered that my body was not built for strength or durability. I was still a child and in development, but some things you can make out early on how they are going to develop. With me sparring with the older kids, despite my skills, sometimes I took heavy hits which would leave me on the ground for several minutes and my blows did not do enough damage to my opponents as I would have liked them to, meaning they could easily continue fighting after getting hit by me whilst I needed to avoid each of their hits if I even wanted to have a speck of a chance.

I had enough stamina, I had trained myself in that every single morning for the past 5 years, but once I got hit, it would deteriorate me way too much, which would mean instant death on the field.

Conclusion, I needed to incorporate a hit and run type of fighting style. And for such a fighting style I would need incredible speed.

When that thought crossed my mind, my brain immediately clicked as it solidified my resolve to learn Sound jutsu. If I was going to incorporate Sound Release jutsus into my style, what better way than to increase my speed using the same principle; sonic speed.

Immediately I had gone to the library and looked every single book for a similar technique. I spent hours there and only found one scroll which briefly touched on a technique similar to what I had in mind but… it did not satisfy me.

Soundbreaker was the techniques name. It was a jutsu where you focused swift release chakra into your legs. Anything behind the user would be hit by the sound wave, basically catapulting the user forward, making them gain incredible speed.

The technique was good and had its uses but… in my eyes, it was also easy to lose control over. It wasn't like you would be running with the speed of sonic, you simply were thrown all over the place.

It was not a stable technique. I was looking something closer to shunshin. Something where I could control my mobility as well as use it for high speed attacks.

But, even after exhausting all of my resources I found absolutely nothing. And the thought that followed my desperation was… if I wanted such a technique, I would need to develop it myself.

I was smart, I would admit that to myself. But I was no genius. I had absolutely no idea where to begin. I lacked the knowledge as well as experience for creating such a jutsu.

My only source of hope developing this technique before I died of old age would be Orochimaru.

Lately, it felt like my entire world revolved around Orochimaru… Nope, dropping that thought, I wasn't going to think any deeper on Orochimaru's relation with my life. It would only depress me further.

As to why I already was depressed to some degree… I asked my parents today when I would attend the academy. Their reply… far from what I had expected.

"You are not going to attend the academy Aika" My father said in a stern voice.

For several minutes I stood unfeeling, dumbfounded, trying to let it sink into my brain what atrocity he had just said. And then… I felt cold rage running through my veins.

I had trained. I had studied. Had meditated, spared myself almost no free time to perfect myself in the arts of shinobi. Preparing myself to be the PERFECT SOLDIER!

ALMOST FIVE FUCKING YEARS WERE DEDICATED TO ME BECOMING A NINJA. FREAKING OROCHIMARU WAS HELPING ME ON THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.

And they were denying me that.

"Why…" My voice lacking emotion.

"A…Aika-chan. It's for your own good, sweetheart" My mother tried to sooth the tension created in the room.

At that moment, I wanted to do nothing more than snap both of their necks.

"Explain." My patience thin.

My mother glanced worriedly at my father. He cleared his throat.

"If you become a ninja… Orochimaru will have too much influence on yo-" My expression darkened.

"Sweety, we just want you to live a normal and happy _life_!" my mother interjected.

They wanted… me away from Orochimaru's influence… and have a normal and happy life… what kind of bullshit were they spitting out of their mouths? Had they lost their marbles? Hit their heads just before my freaking birthday?

They had let him visit me for 6 entire years. SIX FUCKING YEARS. Where I had been CRAPPING my fucking pants thinking how to ESCAPE HIS FUCKING INFLUENCE. And they tell me NOW, when I had finally solidified my resolve, where they had done NOTHING to keep Orochimaru at bay, that they did not want to expose me of his influence?

I laughed. I wholeheartedly laughed in front of their stupid faces. Hysterically so. Their stupidity knew no bounds at this very moment. Who were THEY to stop Orochimaru from getting what HE wanted. They should know better than me what a cruel, ambitious creature that fucking monster was! IF they couldn't stop his visits for these past 6 years, what made them even CONSIDER the fact that they could stop Orochimaru now?

I couldn't even… How did they even come up with that thought?

My mother had stood up, ready to take me into her arms, her eyes filled with tears, fear prominent on her eyes. She was terrified of me.

I stopped laughing.

"Don't touch me."

With those words, I left their presence, lest I become so sick of them that I would throw out my insides in front of their feet.

**(To Love a Song)**

I was out in the forest, practicing my shurikenjutsu. With kunai I had found across training grounds, abandoned by the academy students, I had collected a nice set of them to my advantage and used them on self-made targets.

Shurikenjutsu was, possibly, my best skill out of all. In taijutsu I was good, but not good enough, I could still be beaten. Brute force was definitely not my forte. Speed was my second most favored skill, but yet again, I was good, not great. Ninjutsu I had yet to practice, so I could not comment on that. Chakra control was as of now so so. Tree waling exercise had taken me the better part of my years to master (and Naruto and Sasuke did it in a week. Hell Sakura did it on one freaking day).

But Shurikenjutsu. I would even dare to say that I was just as good as Itachi when he was around my age, if not _better_.

I could easily see myself being a long-range fighter. I always preferred the sniper classes when I played games.

As a long-range fighter I would not have to worry about strength and speed and all that close combat stuff. However, I refused to be JUST a long-range fighter. Most fights happened unfortunately way too cuddly close for my liking.

My goal was to become a monster, I could not afford weaknesses. And having no skill in close combat would be the biggest weakness a ninja could possibly have.

It would be a nice skill for assassination though. Nothing better than to avoid fighting all together and simply kill your enemy in one go from a safe distance. Easy peasy.

I smiled at that thought. I wondered what my first kill would be like. Would I be frightened by what I had done? Would I feel joy? Sadness? Anger? Satisfaction? Fear? Or simply nothing?

I had no doubt that I would become a ninja. If my parents refused to let me visit the academy, then so be it. I could train by myself and if need arouse, I would even go as far as beg Orochimaru to train me. I would NOT deteriorate from the path I had laid for myself. I had invested too much time in this life for that goal. Besides, I enjoyed feeling powerful and I loved being on top. There was something appealing, holding one's life on the palm of your hands.

Ugh… That sounded villainous.

Um… yeah… I swear I am a nice person! To certain people at least… Which in this life is no one… Except for maybe Orochimaru? Ok this is getting worse and worse by the moment.

ANYWAY, bloodthirst and superiority complex aside, I needed to concentrate on throwing these kunai. I was trying to mimic a certain someone's training.

Namely Itachi's and Shisui's throwing kunai, twisting backward flip thingy I had watched so long ago on YouTube.

Ah YouTube… Technology was very much missed this time around. No Google to help me file quickly through information. Instead boring books and scrolls left and right. SO tiring!

You never realize the value of one thing until you lose it.

But back to training.

I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly. This would determine the skill level between Itachi and myself around this age range. With this, I would test myself how good I truly was in the art of shurikenjutsu.

In the middle of the forest, surrounded by targets, I jumped as high as I could, kunai tightly between my fingers. Standing midair, my head now finally facing the ground, with a violent twist of my body I let the kunai go, each heading toward one specific target except for 2. Swiftly out of my pocket, I grabbed the two other kunai I had prepared, throwing them at the ill thrown kunai, changing their direction.

I landed on the ground less graceful than I would have liked to, my head quickly facing up, my eyes scanning the targets. One after another I looked at the kunai in the center of the targets, a smug smile gracing my face. Until I looked at the two last targets, the kunai having missed the black dot by mere inches.

The smug look immediately wiped off my face.

Again.

I repeated the routine. The result, much the same to my annoyance.

Again.

Again.

Again!

AGAIN!

WHY? WHY DID I ALWAYS MISS THOSE TARGETS?

"You are always too eager to throw your last kunai"

I turned around so fast. I almost had a heart attack, fucking hell!

"O…Orochimaru-sama?" shit shit shit, how long had he been standing there? Oh fucking hell, he is sitting, SITTING! HOW LONG HAD HE BEEN THERE?

"Did you listen to what I said Aika-chan?"

"I… I…" I really needed to stop stuttering. I took a deep breath, calmed by racing heart before it EXPLODED and I tried again.

"I was too eager throwing my last kunai"

He nodded.

"Again." He said.

Was it really that simple? Was it simply because I had been too eager to throw the last kunai which always ended barely an inch away from the center of the target?

I jumped. Repeated the whole thing, only this time, I slowed my momentum on the last two kunai.

It hit.

"YES!" I jumped with joy and to my horror, I realized a second too late that I had Orochimaru staring at me, fucking CREEPER!

When I looked at him, he simply gave me a nod.

I felt oddly… satisfied and proud of myself after having seen that nod.

Wow… Never thought I'd be this happy with anything Orochimaru approved.

I shuddered at the thought.

Shit, it's horrifying enough that I can tolerate his presence, but that I start enjoying it… Nope, that's where I cross the line.

"I heard you are not attending the academy." His words brought me out of my thoughts, a vein popping on my forehead in response. The way he said it made it sound so final.

" _That_ was not _my_ wish."

He nodded once again.

"You will be coming with me then." He simply said.

My brain had at that moment short circuited.

"W…What?" I managed to choke out.

"You heard me child. By tomorrow, I expect you to pack only the most vital things. Say your goodbyes to your family." A creepy smile blooming on his face.

And with those words he disappeared.

I stood there for quite a few minutes. This was a repetition of earlier today. However, instead of feeling anger, I was filled with dread.

Orochimaru was taking me to one of his hideouts.

My mind filled with the worst possible scenarios. I was too young, too inexperienced to be of any use to him right now. I had no real skill, could easily be taken down by a barely passing genin. I had potential, but that was the extension of my usefulness to him. Why the hell did he want me to leave from here?

It was difficult for me to imagine that he was going to train me at such an early age where I had barely mastered the basics!

So, it brought me to one conclusion. He was going to undergo some type of experiment with me. But what? WHAT?

He couldn't possibly dissect me, perform forbidden or untested jutsus on me. I SHOULD BE TOO VALUABLE TO HIM BY NOW TO SIMPLY KILL ME OFF FOR SOME SHIT EXPERIEMENT.

No. NO! I refused, _refused_ to simply end up as another dead body in Orochimaru's laboratory. I spent so much _time_. Valuable time to make myself worthy in his eyes.

I did not want to die. Not again. I might not be afraid of death, but I wished so desperately to live MY LIFE. A LIFE I WOULD NOT REGRET LIVING.

Not like the previous one.

And if I died now. I would regret it. I would regret for having died so young, powerless and purposeless.

I had yet to find a meaning to this life.

DAMN IT OROCHIMARU! Why must he _always_ push me to such desperation.

In the middle of the forest, darkness slowly creeping on me, I cried for the first time in many, many years, my young body shaking in fear.

I honestly had no idea what to do. I was at his mercy. If I tried to run away now, he would catch me in a blink. I had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. I was utterly alone and no one could protect me from his madness.

I was afraid.

**(To Love a Song)**

It had been several hours since Orochimaru left. I went home, finally accepting my miserable fate and simply going with whatever Orochimaru needed of me right now.

My knuckles and feet were badly bruised, having vented my frustration on beating down the trees and rocks surrounding me.

As I opened the door, my mother came rushing hugging me.

I wanted to push her away, snap at her and say awful things to her, but found no strength left in myself to neither be angry or spiteful.

"Orochimaru is going to take me with him tomorrow." I simply said.

My mother slowly let me go, looked at me, ran to my father and broke down in tears.

Wow. Way to comfort your child mom.

I ignored my parents, even when my father started calling out to me. They didn't even bother to check on me after I went in my room.

I started packing. A few pieces of clothing here and there, some of my notebooks where my most important notes lied and that's it. He did say most vital things.

I left my bag at the corner of my room and I went into my futon even though I knew tonight I would not get a wink of sleep.

**(To Love a Song)**

I was dead tired. And that ultimately translated I was in a horrifying mood. I had "woken up" at around 5am, headed to the garden to do my usual routine and wait for Orochimaru to arrive.

Said snake made his presence known half an hour later, interrupting my training.

Whatever, I wasn't really into it anyway.

My parents, were funnily enough still asleep.

I did not tell them goodbye, too bitter and engulfed in my own self-pity. Maybe I would regret it later on, but as of now, I couldn't care less for both of them.

In the end, what was family? Just because they share the same blood does not automatically result in a happy, bonding family.

My previous life had taught me that.

Having hoped that this one would have been different, especially with Orochimaru breathing down my neck, had been a silly wish.

In the end, I was never truly a child, a normal family would have been out of question.

I sighed.

"Good morning, Aika-chan" Orochimaru greeted with a raised brow.

"Good morning Orochimaru-sama" My voice defeated.

His brow was still raised however, he did not question my current state. What for. I would be dead meat soon anyways.

He turned his back and walked away, immediately following him.

**(To Love a Song)**

The journey was a quiet one as well as a long one. No words were exchanged and Orochimaru was walking slow enough for me to easily keep up with him.

We stopped at night, where I would rest and he… would be creepy. The first night I had difficulty sleeping because he was creepily staring at me. Like… I was already a bundle of nerves, but him watching me like some piece of cake… it was unnerving. I tried to ignore it. Oh _how_ I tried to ignore it. To no avail. At the very least, sleep took me into the land of dreams, my body too tired from the lack of sleep the previous night.

At the very least, after 3 days of walking, we had arrived to one of his hideout.

My first thought was… tiny. Of course, that was simply the outer appearance of the hideout. I was betting it was much, much bigger on the inside.

I wondered if this was the hideout where Orochimaru would be keeping Sasuke once the time came.

Actually, I should be worrying if I would be alive at that point of time. After all, this monster right here held my life into the palm of his hands.

Must be a nice feeling to be that powerful.

A sigh escaped me.

"You've been sighing a lot lately." His pedo voice broke my thoughts.

"I apologize, Orochimaru-sama" I replied quietly.

"I would have thought you to be happy, after all, from now on you'll be under my tutelage."

I looked at my now to be sensei apparently.

"Am I truly here just to be trained?"

Orochimaru smiled.

"Clever girl"

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

I bit the fear down.

"I'll be bestowing you with a gift Aika-chan"

Orochimaru had never looked this menacing in my entire current life.

Swallowing the bile that rose to my throat, I nodded.

"Come child, I'll be showing you your room"

I did not reply. Simply followed.

At that very moment, my body was functioning on autopilot. Fear had taken a tight grip on my body.

A gift he said.

Did he mean the seal? Was I not too young to take the seal? But then again, the only thing that would determine if I survived it or not was my DNA, how powerful I was did not matter.

Best case scenario right now would be taking the seal of heaven or whatever it was called.

Worst case scenario, he was testing something new which would be 10 times deadlier than the seal.

"Leave your bag here and then follow me."

The room given to me was… well… bleak. It had a bed, a nightstand and that was it basically. It was big enough I guess.

I left my bag on the bed and followed Orochimaru, my heart pounding harder and harder with each step I took.

Finally, we arrived. I looked around, countless bodies hanging around the room, surgical instruments littered all over the place. His laboratory…

I fought down the tears threatening to fall at the corner of my eyes. I was going under the knife.

"Stretch out your arm."

The metal of the needle shone under the white light of the laboratory.

I did as I was told, knowing resistance would be futile.

I prayed, I prayed to whatever deity ruled this land, Hagoromo, Kaguya, Kishimoto, God, SOMETHING! I prayed that I would survive this. I prayed that I would come out unharmed.

I felt the needle prick my skin and seconds after the liquid entered my system I felt my body getting limp, darkness slowly engulfing my vision.

Fuck.

At least it got confirmed that it was not the seal I'd be getting.

And with those dumb thoughts, I went into oblivion.


	5. Night-Terror

The first thing I came to notice when I woke up… I could… hear.

It sounded weird, even coming from myself, it sounded absolutely stupid. Of course, I could hear, I had two very functional ears. But… it was so… different. Like nothing I had ever heard before. It was like my sense of hearing had been sharpened, no sound could escape my ears. A room, which should, by all means, have been deadly quiet was brimming with lively noise.

It was like this sound you hear after having been in the disco, surrounded by loud music, and then u finally step out in a much quieter area, that sound you just can't explain where it comes from. But in this case, that sound had meaning to it and I could hear clearly every bit of its tune.

The second thing I was aware of was the pain in my throat. Any type of noise trying to escape my mouth would leave me with unbelievable pain, my vocal cords, once a blessing given to me in my former and current life, now similar to a curse. I could not speak, the pain not giving me a chance to.

The third and final thing I noticed before I would crash down into a panic attack, was the buzzing in my skin. Since I had started to be aware of chakra, the buzz had followed me my entire second life, so when this buzz grew quieter and quieter with each passing moment… I grew worried.

And then. After my brain had perceived these changes on my body, then I remembered my final waking moment before this state.

I had ended up on Orochimaru's dissecting table.

My breathing instantly became ragged as I started to experience my first real mental breakdown in this lifetime.

"Calm yourself child, you are in no danger." Orochimaru's voice… At least I thought it was his voice… despite the similarities it sounded… deeper? Much more meaningful. I didn't know how to explain. It was the same yet different. Confusing shit.

"The procedure went without complications"

The procedure…

FUCKING BITCH!

THAT FUCKING SNAKE FACE OPERATED ON ME THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO HIS GODDAMNED BUILDING! For how long had Orochi-PEDU-FUCKING-maru planned all this SHIT?!

I attempted to call out Pedo Snake's name, only for booming pain to remind me that I could no longer speak.

And then something clicked in my brain.

I was not sure if this new hearing thing had also been a part of Orochimaru's surgery, but my throat certainly was. And I fucking DEARLY HOPE FOR THAT FUCKING SNAKE THAT MY VOICE IS UNCHANGED AND NOT LOST CAUSE I WILL CASTRATE HIS BALLS!

My voice had been the ONLY blessing in this new life, THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME REMOTEDLY HAPPY SEEING AS OROCHIMARU DECIDED TO TAKE EVERYTHING ELSE FROM ME!

He was _not_ taking my voice from me as well.

"Your vocal cords are currently healing, do not strain them, unless you want to lose your voice permanently."

Bitch.

He was lucky I was rendered speechless… literally. That did not stop me from cursing him to hell and back in my mind though.

Motherfucking dick.

Pedophilic monster.

Ugh… That reminded me… if he operated me…

FUCKING PEDOPHILE! Oh my fucking god, if he did more than just my throat, then he might have seen me naked…

SOMEONE END ME NOW!

I cannot live with this shame!

"You make entertaining expressions Aika-chan"

Well fuck you too, you whore!

Ugh, lately I've been feeling like fucking Hidan cursing left and right like this. I might as well start hailing Jashin.

IT'S ALL THIS CHILD MOLESTERS FAULT!

At the very least my panic attack had stopped before it could become an issue.

I sighed.

Orochimaru calmly handed me a brush and a piece of paper. At first, I wondered the hell he wanted from me with these but quickly caught on before I could embarrass myself.

**Will my voice remain unchanged?**

After all, as of now it was my number one priority. The voice was my blessing this lifetime around. In my previous one, I had had a nice voice as well, but this one rocked to heaven and above. Seriously, despite not having reached yet puberty, this voice was heavenly when I sang. It calmed me and kept my sanity in check.

"I cannot promise you that."

My rage flickered.

WHAT?

"The changes I made in your vocal cords is that you should now be able to reach notes higher than the upper audible limit of human hearing, to be exact, ultrasound waves."

… What?

Clearly my question was written across my face seeing as Orochimaru proceeded to answer my unasked question.

"Throughout the years we've come to know each-other-" I mentally snorted at that "- I have noticed that your main focus has been primarily on Sound Release jutsus. You have done extensive research on them the most, completely disregarding the other types of jutsus available."

Ok… what does that have to do with me going under the knife?

"What you failed to realize is that your affinity with Sound Release jutsu was very low."

I repeat... What?

"Meaning you would have never excelled in the field, simply because your body has not the requirements to handle the nature of such jutsus.

You could say… Sound Release jutsus are similar to a kekkei genkai."

I wasn't even going to try to repeat the question mentally…

"Just because you are the one casting the jutsu, does not mean you're automatically immune to them. Meaning, with jutsus such as _Sound Release: Blast Wave,_ your eardrums would collapse from the sheer pressure of the sound waves omitted from such close proximity."

Oh…

Wait… then how do I prevent that?

"Also your vocal cords would tear, despite the chakra protecting and enhancing them for the jutsu."

That explains why the throat surgery… But why go so far as to give me the necessary abilities for jutsus I am not naturally inclined to learn?

Time to write down the questions I guess.

**Then how will I protect my ears?**

The second question would have to wait for now, not enough space in this piece of paper.

"Technically, currently you are deaf."

It's time to start again… What?

Excuse me, but I can hear spectacularly, better than ever before thank you very… oh… I can hear better than before… He must have done something… still doesn't explain the deafness shit.

"As of right now, your ears are very much useless, you could do very well without them. What you are listening to right now is sound chakra."

I raised an eyebrow.

"As you should be aware, the world is filled with natural chakra. Every task done, from walking to writing, to hearing and to even talking, is done subconsciously with the help of chakra."

Meaning, what I'm listening to right now is the sound omitted by chakra…

So… I'm actually deaf huh.

I was ready to write down my other question at the new piece of paper given to me, before Orochimaru interrupted.

"Another change done to your body is your chakra affinity."

My attention was back to him.

"Your chakra _had_ a natural affinity for lighting."

I did notice the emphasis on had.

I understood that Sound Release techniques were done best with wind affinity. So basically, I could have never learnt Sound Release techniques. Once again, I wondered why he had put me through all these changes.

However, he did say _had_ …

How can you change one's chakra affinity?

"Right now I'm feeding your chakra system with poison-" excuse me WHAT? "-developed by myself-" fuck you pedo-chimaru, really wishing to SMACK the smirk off your face UGH "-basically breaking down your whole chakra system. I'm stopping your chakra coils from producing chakra but not destroying them"

I didn't even… The fuck was he planning to do?

"The longer the poison resides in your system, the more you'll start to feel its effect, so be prepared for growing pain, fatigue and random fits of spasm. Once your system is completely deprived of chakra, you should be unable to hear anything seeing as your hearing now relies on chakra."

Is he forcing chakra exhaustion on me? Wouldn't that like… be deadly for me? AND I'M GOIN TO BE DEAF FOR REALZ NOW?

"After you are void of chakra, you'll be undergoing a second procedure. Nothing major, I'll simply be tweaking with your chakra coils in order for you to accept your new medication. The biggest changes have been done with the first procedure, after all, brain surgery is such a delicate matter."

Ok… I was completely lost now. What…?

"I'll be feeding you wind, or more precisely _sound_ chakra in the form of pills, which your new modified chakra coils should accept without much protest. As your body is still young and your chakra coils have developed only barely above 80%, your survival rate for this procedure should be high enough."

H…high enough…

I was so ready to faint right now.

Oh… he's doing nothing major, SIMPLY REFORMING MY WHOLE EXISTENCE WHAT THE FUCK?!

AND BRAIN SURGERY? HE FUCKED WITH MY FUCKING BRAIN, WHAT?

But seeing as he had already started… well fuck you up your damn ass Orochimaru! Wait, no, you know what, he'll probably enjoy that shit, no I'm not giving him that pleasure, sick pedophilic bastard!

I just proceeded scribbling down on the new piece of paper.

**Sound Chakra?**

"Ah yes. Well, sound chakra is basically a variation of wind natured chakra. However, it is slightly modified, just as you modify it when you perform a Sound Release jutsu. It is very uncommon for it to appear naturally on an individual, but it can happen that sometimes a baby is born with sound natured chakra.

It is difficult to detect though seeing as it acts similar to wind chakra and often goes unnoticed. Basically, every Sound Release jutsu that you would learn would come naturally to you as your chakra would need no modifying so to speak. It makes a difference in performing the seals. One less seal in a jutsu could dictate your survival after all."

Wow… That actually exists? So, is it like a sixth type of chakra nature? Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. I always wondered anyways how come Lighting is its own chakra nature when, as far as I am aware, Lightning is but a variation of the element Fire plus something else. Kinda like Wood. Wood is also often considered its own element in some cultures when in reality it is but a variation of Earth plus other things.

The only reason I can think of why Lightning of all things is considered a chakra nature is because it is more common to appear in individuals. And Sound chakra is probably only common in Otogakure… Probably why Orochimaru named it so… Wait… Did Orochimaru discover a new chakra nature?

Though, it still begged to question…

 **Why are you doing all this?**.

That smirk he showed me while licking his lips with that sick ass tongue… ugh… can I just die now please?

"Well, Aika-chan-" he gently caressed my face and oh please, no, just stop "-despite your body being furthest from optimal for a sound-nin, you would excel in it if you had been born with the necessary abilities. And who am I to deny such potential to come to fruition when I can make it possible to happen?

A fruit, is after all, the most delicious when ripened to its fullest potential."

Oh god… I'm getting Hisoka vibes right there… Next thing he'll start screaming my name in the middle of a spar and orgas… NOPE, I'm NOT finishing that thought!

Why do I mentally scar myself like this, WHY!

"Well, I will excuse myself now, it should take a couple of hours before the poison completely sinks into your system and the symptoms start showing. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check your condition."

Orochimaru stood up from his seat ready to leave, however, before he could get far enough I grabbed his clothes.

He looked at me, curious to what I had to say err… write.

**Have you done this before?**

He smirked.

Please, not the smirks!

"There's a first try for everything Aika-chan"

Orochimaru was out of my room.

Fuck.

My.

Life.

**(To Love a Song)**

It had started as a dull ache…

I was sweating, panting and attempting to scream which only increased the pain as I felt the poison make process of my chakra. It felt like I had been put on an electric chair to roast on for hours. Tiredness had overtaken my body, unable to lift a muscle, however, despite my eye lids feeling a billion tons heavy, I could not get a wink of sleep, the random fits of spasm, which had grown more frequent with time, denying me that.

I felt like I had entered hell.

Orochimaru was now constantly supervising me, having transferred me an hour ago into his laboratory.

I only guessed that my chakra was nearly gone, though how I still felt like being electrocuted was a mystery to me.

What I failed to realize in my moments of pain, what I failed to think of during these torturous HOURS, was that this procedure would be undertaken with me being under no anesthetics.

This operation was going to happen with my mind in full focus, my hand and feet tied down the operation table.

Why you ask?

Because the anesthetic could interfere with the poison and later on antidote, killing me instantly or at least doing irreparable damage.

So, when Orochimaru deemed the time right, I was given the antidote and he started the operation.

He had stripped me of clothes, though shame was the furthest from my mind and had drawn over my whole body, mimicking my chakra pathways, amplifying where the chakra coils resided. This had taken about another hour, enough time for the antidote to do its thing and for the symptoms to dull.

With a glow on his fingers, forming chakra thin like a needle, he started doing… things… Which were absolutely HORRIBLE, if not worse than the pain I had been feeling the past few hours IF THAT WAS POSSIBLE.

I didn't know how to describe this pain. It was like a drill being slammed in and out of my body repeatedly, over and over and over and over and over… It had no end.

I cried, I wailed, I tried to break free, with no avail.

I was in so much pain, ready to die, yet Orochimaru's face remained as cold as ever, concentrated on his current objective.

The operation had lasted several hours, fortunately, my brain had given out when about half of my chakra coils were modified after enduring hours and hours of devastating pain.

Not that I could think much during the whole procedure, those were simply thoughts I analyzed AFTER that nightmare.

It was… an experience I would NEVER want to live again. That agonizing pain, it was just… Death would have been preferable.

I would have begged to be killed if I had had a voice. I would have screamed, would have ripped my vocal cords, if not for the protection Orochimaru had put on my throat as well as the gag so I would not bite my tongue.

I had been deaf, mute and blind from agonizing pain.

And this experience would traumatize me for the rest of my life, make it clear why the weak would never survive in a world full of monsters such as Orochimaru.

I had been played on like a ragdoll ready to be thrown away if broken.

**(To Love a Song)**

The next time I woke up… I could hear again… And I also could feel the new chakra flowing inside my body. Unlike my previous chakra, this one was not loud, buzzing through my veins like mad. On the contrary, it was quiet, warm and gentle like a summer breeze with an occasional beat. As if the chakra network had its own heart to pump and circulate.

I would say it felt soothing, if not for the fact that it felt so foreign and fake… it simply was not mine.

I tried to stand up straight on my bed, only for pain to stop me from doing so. It was like a thousand needles being jammed into my body at the same time.

I did not attempt to do it again, not unless Orochimaru deemed it was safe enough to do so.

I thought about what had happened. I thought about how the operation had gone. And once again I was crying my eyes out.

Those cold eyes and calm pale hand, operating on me, touching me, doing things… I felt so violated… I would never forget this and I sincerely hoped this would be the LAST time I ended up in Orochimaru's laboratory.

It was a night-terror and I sincerely hoped that I would not continue dreaming of this experience. I would like to have it well buried and forgotten, else I'd end up completely broken…

And I could not afford to be broken if I wanted to make an impact on this world.

I would simply have to see it as an experience which would make me stronger… Physically and mentally so.

After hours by my lonesome, I was glad for the modification of my hearing. The sound of chakra in the room was truly soothing, knowing I was not engulfed by terrifying silence, like on the operation table, but with lovely melodious noise.

However, I was worried if Orochimaru had modified anything else in my brain except for the fact of making me deaf and giving me a new type of hearing. I dearly hoped I would not be some type of ticking bomb or some mindless servant of his. It would ruin me, and I would most likely commit suicide. If, of course I had enough free will to do so.

When said Snake entered my room, no words were exchanged. He came in, gave me my medicine with some water and left the room.

Several days passed like so.

I did not get food or anything similar to that, I assumed I was being fed through the IV drop on the side of my bed.

The ache of my body had settled, no more crushing needle pain whenever I tried to stand up.

My throat was also getting considerably better, now able to speak without pain overwhelming me. My voice was rough, as it should be seeing as I had not spoken in days.

The foreign chakra in my vein had also started to stop being so foreign, instead settling into my coils, slowly becoming part of me.

"It will take at least one year for the new chakra to settle and for your coils to produce wind chakra on their own."

I had simply nodded.

After several months after that night-terror as I would call it, I was able to walk properly, eat without problems, speak and thankfully sing again, my voice having remained mostly unchanged. The only difference being that I now had no limit as to how high my voice could get as well as how low.

I did not know if I should thank Orochimaru for these new changes. After all, he was doing this for me as strangely as it sounded. However, the torture I had to go through… I had yet to debate if it was worth the pain.

I'd rather not think of it anyways, preferring to leave that experience behind me.

This would be my new body and life, so I had no choice but to deal with it.

Orochimaru and I barely exchanged any words since that day, him informing me only on my medical health.

I preferred it that way. I truly could not make myself smile at this monster as easily as I had done previously. Speak so freely without a care in the world.

I had not realized how comfortable I had become with Orochimaru in the 6 years he had visited me. It had been shocking for me to admit and also nauseating.

However, I also did realize that this could not go on like this forever. I'd be sharing a roof with this monster for however long he deemed right… And I could not continue avoiding his presence if I wanted to gain strength.

Already one month had passed since I had stopped my training, my body had recovered enough for me to resume. I could not afford to slack, the last time I made up excuses to not train I was slapped with the harsh reality of my situation. I did not want a repetition of that.

So, I gathered up all my wits and went to search for the pedophile that owned this base.

"Aika-chan?" was that surprise I heard in the snake bitch's voice?

"I have recovered enough, Orochimaru-sama, I want to start training" I tried not to think of his face while he had been operating me, I tried not to remember that cold stoic face which followed me in my nightmares.

"Why, I thought you'd never ask!" his trademark smirk back on his pale ass face.

"Don't be ridiculous, I had one month to recover from your creepy operation, what worth would I have if I gave up from a torture session with you" before I could stop myself, my inner thoughts had slipped out of my mouth…

Well…

I tried to cough, to cover that mistake… And Pedo Snake's grin simply grew wider.

"Meet me tomorrow at 6am on the field and don't forget to take your pill."

My heart was hammering like MAD once I had left the room. The hell… Orochimaru was too unpredictable, I wasn't even going to waste braincells thinking about that.

_Little did Aika know that similar thoughts were running through the brain of one crazy scientist about her state of mind as well._


	6. The First Step to Power

Before me were several objects, each made of a different kind of material. Glass, three pieces of wood, each a different type (Mahogany, Pine and Walnut) and a metal piece.

"Unfortunately for you Aika-chan, I am not a master of Sound jutsu. As a matter of fact, as of now such master does not even exist. However, I will try my best to guide you, the specifics I'll let you discover by yourself. Every sound-nin capable of using Sound Release techniques takes their powers for granted, few looking further from what is written on paper."

I frowned, Orochimaru's smirk growing in size.

"You, Aika-chan must know best how power cannot simply be granted without a certain amount of pain." I winced, memories of that horrifying experience still fresh on my mind. I grit my teeth, refusing those memories to dictate my life. I could hate this snake all I wanted, but I could not overlook the fact that he had gifted me power. Going so far as to even change my chakra nature.

Why did I have to be reborn in Otogakure! Why did I have to catch Orochimaru's eye? Why did I even seek _power_?

Because I wanted to live a life without regrets. And having power meant I could take control of my life, especially in the world of Naruto.

Ironic how at this moment my life couldn't be any further out of my control.

"As the operation is still fresh and your new chakra nature is still settling in your system, you'll be unable to use any jutsu or to be precise, any considerable amount of chakra for anything.

The most you could do is the tree walking exercise, everything beyond that would strain your coils and mutilate them beyond recognition, which would bring another unnecessary session in the operating table. We don't want that now, do we?"

My body instinctively started to shake. Was he trying to unnerve me? Why was he so hellbent on bringing up memories I wanted to forget so _badly_?!

"Th…then how am…" Get a grip girl! Orochi-pedo-maru was simply testing me! Show no weakness!

"How am I supposed to learn any new jutsu?" I was relieved to notice the sentence had been said without stuttering. I did not want to start stumbling over my words like Hinata damnit. Yes, this man terrified me, but I had to learn to live with a monster constantly breathing down my neck. If I could learn not to fear Orochimaru, then nothing would ever scare or unnerve me. Absolutely nothing!

This was my life now and I refused to live in fear!

"Aika-chan, I took you for a smart girl." The Pedo Snake frowned. Well bitch explain since my brain isn't catching on to your crazy training regime.

"What do you know about resonance?"

I raised a brow. And then I looked at the objects presented in front of me.

Oh.

 _Oh_!

"If the frequency matches that of a certain object, it is possible to shatter that object simply with sound."

Orochimaru's tongues slipped out of that damned CREEPY smirk, licking his FUCKING CREEPY lips.

I would break all of my teeth if I continued grinding this hard. Fucking creeper!

"Before you can learn any jutsu, you should be able to understand the art behind the power you will be using.

Well then Aika-chan. Have fun singing, I will come later to see your progress. It shouldn't take you long to figure the right frequencies."

Orochimaru was gone, leaving me in the middle of the field with five objects to shatter only by sound.

Why the hell did I have to wake up so early if all I was doing was singing?

I sighed.

Glass, I knew I would be able to shatter. Wood I guessed as well. Seeing as I had however three different types of wood to work with, I assumed every piece had a different frequency in which they reacted to. But metal? Can one shatter metal? I doubted. However, I was left no choice but to experiment. If Orochimaru presented me with metal, then it would mean I would have to get some type of effect from it.

As much as I hated to admit, Pedo Snake was right. A true master becomes master of his art by experimenting and testing. I had been too eager to simply learn new jutsus without truly wanting to look "behind the scenes", but what use would I have if I could not understand how they even functioned (such as the song release techniques which could _heal_ by singing. How does then even work?). And I wanted to develop a technique to help me aid in speed. I had assumed Orochimaru would help and in a way, he is, but there was no way the snake would develop a new technique just for me to use.

No. I was alone on this.

Let's get started then.

I started singing starting low, observing the reaction of all the materials presented only to go each time one note higher than the previous one.

My concentration, for the moment, was on the glass, knowing it would be the easiest to shatter. It was nice to have a limitless voice. Thank whatever deity watched over this world that I still had maintained the heavenly voice I had been blessed with this life. I would have been SO disappointed and further depressed if I would have lost that.

BAM!

I was not ashamed to admit that I did scream like a little girl when the glass shattered. I was, after all, only six. And I was kinda not paying attention…

So, glass would shatter without me having to break into ultrasound waves. Well, I did expect it but a confirmation was nice.

Now that the glass was broken into pieces, I had wood to work with. Once again doing the same as previously.

For wood, it was required for me to break into ultrasound waves, which was utterly weird seeing as I was omitting no real sound however I could feel the vibration filling the air around me and in my bones even.

Which led me to question. If I fought with allies and used ultrasound waves to shatter bones (if that was possible, and I certainly hoped it was), how would I prevent for the soundwaves to influence me and my allies as well?

Would chakra come into play with that?

Ugh, hopefully I would not reach the breaking point for bones while experimenting on metal (pretty sure wood would break before bones could) or else I'd be quite screwed.

Wait… then again I have to think about the muscle tissue surrounding the bone, would that protect it?

My thoughts were broken when the middle piece of wood exploded into pieces, splinters flying everywhere. I quickly backed off, avoiding the splinters injuring me.

So, the Pine broke first.

A few notes higher and the two other pieces of wood soon followed the Pine.

So, around this range of ultrasound notes (I really did not know if ultrasound waves had notes, but I would call them as such anyways) wood would break.

Now, metal.

I really did not want to imagine what it would look like if metal broke. Though I was quite sure it would not break. However, I did believe it would bend at the very least.

For the glass and wood, it had taken only one hour to find their breaking point altogether.

For metal?

It was already noon and I had absolutely NO reaction from the piece of metal except for it vibrating from the sound omitted like it had done from the very beginning. I even tried singing at different distances, hoping it would coax some kind of reaction, but no. Nope. It remained stubborn.

After singing for 6 hours straight without a pause, my throat felt dry and sore and I myself was irritated having wasted so much time for NOTHING!

Now, I understood why Orochimaru wanted me here at fucking 7am. Because the fucking metal was a bitch to bend!

Speaking of the devil, Pedo Snake decided to grace my humble self with his presence, his eyes filled with amusement at my frustration.

"I see you've been working hard."

I simply glared.

"Having trouble Aika-chan?"

Yes bitch, the fucking metal won't pop the cherry!

Of course, I couldn't say the sentence so I just huffed in frustration. Creepy-chimaru smirked his creepy smirk, his expression basically screaming "I know the solution but won't tell you" which made a vein pop onto my forehead.

"How about you try to observe the vibrations more closely?"

Was he giving me a hint?

So, I did as told. I omitted ultrasound waves, inaudible to the human ear, but perfectly clear to me. I sang notes one higher one lower and noticed… the vibrations had different patterns.

While with the lower notes the metal was shaking from left to right and vice versa, with the higher note the vibration appeared as if it was being squeezed in and out.

Suddenly shit made so much sense. Especially those song jutsus, where the songs weren't truly songs but a lucky coincidence that those frequencies together happened to make pleasant music. It was a lucky collaboration.

Seeing as the vibration continued to happen even after the tune had stopped being omitted from the source for a little while longer, if combined with a tune which would contradict that vibration I could cause disruption and in turn destroy or at least modify the object of choice.

Of fucking course!

So basically, the metal piece had no frequency in which it would shatter, the density too thick for that to happen, but it sure as hell wasn't immune to getting bent. And in this case, I would have more than one option to bend metal seeing as there were plenty of vibration pairs which would contradict one another's movement, meaning I could control the shape the metal piece could take.

Genius. Fucking genius. How the hell did Orochimaru even think of that? Did he experiment with sound himself? I wouldn't be surprised if he did, after all, he was kinda the founder of Otogakure, he should have an idea or two how sound jutsu works.

Gosh, this man was terrifying, both physically and mentally. Not that I didn't know that before, but it was utterly terrifying that such genius was part of such an evil man. The Narutoverse would have been so much different had Orochimaru taken over Sasuke's body. I bet Obito and Madara would have been the least of the world's problem.

"I see you understand" Orochimaru's voice broke my train of thoughts.

"Yes" I replied simply, receiving a nod from the snake.

"It is time for you to eat, you have been testing for almost 5 hours now. As expected you had no problems with the glass and woods and now you have a solution for metal as well. You can confirm that after your meal, it would do you little good to collapse from hunger."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama" I said, following the pale man as he led me to the kitchen of his base. Apparently, Orochimaru had cooks which prepared him meals each day. Who would have thought? Though the cooks were also ninjas of course, the cooking part more like a side job.

"At what ultrasound wave does wood break Aika-chan?" He asked as we sat down the table. For a moment, I simply stared at Orochimaru, not really knowing how to answer that.

My very clever response however was "Ummm…"

How was I supposed to explain what note broke wood, it's not like ultrasound waves had a written sing language like usual music…

…

Somehow, I really should start thinking more for myself, I can't have Orochimaru dropping hints all the time for me to understand my mistakes.

"I'll be thinking of a note system for ultrasound waves and will document my progress" I said, head down guiltily.

"At least you understand" he simply answered, the meals now in front of us, ready to eat.

I felt like such an idiot whenever he dropped hints for me to understand shit. So much for wanting to present myself as a genius, I only hoped that Orochimaru was not disappointed of my intelligence. These all were things I could have thought of myself if I had thought outside the box. I had been too used in my previous life having the internet give me answers to all of my questions and doing the thinking outside the box thing and now it was coming to bite me in the ass.

I could hardly expect Orochimaru to give me all the answers.

For a moment I stopped eating, simply staring at the face of my nightmares. Somehow, lately it's been only Orochimaru this, Orochimaru that. It almost felt like my world revolved around him.

I tore my gaze away from the monster, back to eating my own meal. Only a few years, and I would be free of him. He might be the key factor to my life as of now, but once Sasuke finished him off, I'd have control of my life just the way I wanted it. I just needed to be patient and use Orochimaru just as much as he was using me. In the end, I would be the victor out of this ordeal, future knowledge guaranteed me that.

Of course, there could also be the option of me having been born in the wrong timeline, though I didn't dare think of that option, or I would sink in despair having to know my life would forever depend on the snake in front of me.

So, I did not think.

I simply ate, knowing the future would be on my side, as well as power.

**(To Love a Song)**

Unlike in the morning where I came with zero preparation, after lunch was finished and the snake went to do whatever shit he planned on doing, I had taken a blank notebook and something to write for me to document my progress.

I already had an idea what symbols (or more like letters) I wanted to use to document the notes of ultrasound. Really it was easy, having knowledge of other languages, I knew obviously the Latin letters and also Cyrillic letters.

Now I simply had to choose which set of letters I wanted to choose. The choice was easy really, after all Cyrillic letters looked so much cooler!

Yes… That was my reasoning.

So, I built myself a system, repeating the notes I had sang this morning, thankfully I had memorized the range of ultrasound notes where wood would break, noting it and then making further notes about the different kinds of vibration metal had to specific ultrasound waves.

From there, it was easy to build pairs or even chains of notes which would disrupt and deform the chunk of metal.

All the excitement with molding metal purely by sound made me forget of the dangers ultrasound waves could cause to one's body. Specifically, one particular sensitive organ.

The heart.

Testing one specific chain, I noticed my heart beating irregular for a few seconds. At first, I did not think it was the fault of my experimenting causing this reaction. After all, the heart is known to beat faster or in an irregular rhythm from time to time if there isn't enough blood flowing in the system. However, a repetition of that chain of notes and once again my heart was out of my control.

Well… shit.

I was not sure if I should continue experimenting. Having my body react to certain chains would do me no good. I certainly did not wish to cause myself cardiac arrest.

After writing down the notes about that particular incident, I stopped for the day, satisfied with my discoveries. Now I just had to find a way to protect my body from my own experimentations since at one point I was sure I would have to test certain soundwaves on a living body and actually TRY to cause cardiac arrest. Dying in the process would do me no good.

It would be difficult though, seeing as I had limited use of chakra due to my new chakra nature running through my system. I would have to ask the snake about the limitations and how I could protect myself from causing harm to my organs. But then again, if there was such a protection, sound jutsu would be useless, no?

Or maybe I could make it so that the sound would only be directed on the target instead of letting it echo throughout the whole area? Like that even my allies would be protected.

It would be easier to implement and much more logical as well. Still, I would have to use chakra in this case, seeing as sound had a mind of its own with where it wanted to go.

I needed to find Pedo Snake then.

**(To Love a Song)**

After finding Orochimaru and telling him of my thoughts and idea, he gave my chakra coils a thorough checkup, testing how far I could use chakra without irritating them too much (even though he did have a speculation of how much I could use before screwing myself, but a confirmation was nice nonetheless) and then testing himself how much chakra he needed to coat sound with it and directing it to specific targets.

The answer to my relief was, not much. Meaning I could use chakra without killing myself and even got a demonstration how to coat sound with chakra and lock it to specific targets.

However, seeing as I would spend hours testing different types of sounds, despite the little amount of chakra used for coating sound, if I worked too long on it I could still suffer chakra exhaustion. So Orochimaru gave me a limited time I could experiment with sound. The time limit being 3 hours.

Meaning, the rest of the day would be spent learning taijutsu (which I looked more than forward to) and theoretical stuff (not so much looking forward to that) which would also include discussing my discoveries on sound and my written notes with Orochimaru and possible other outcomes.

So, in the end, the first day of training with Orochimaru… included less of Orochimaru and more of me understanding the foundation I was building my fighting style on. The day had been frustrating and exciting at the same time and I was actually looking forward to tomorrow, seeing what else Orochimaru had in store.

I had an inkling that it would be much the same, having Orochimaru let me choose a specific direction and guide me to my goal with hints and tricks here and there. Though I hoped that tomorrow, especially in taijutsu, he would be more present than today seeing as I barely got sight of the man.

Not that I could complain, not seeing Orochimaru's creepy face was a blessing, but practicing taijutsu on air without an instructor would suck.

In the end, I went to bed, excited of the fact that I could bend metal basically by will and that I would be learning real taijutsu (not the self-taught shit I read from books) which would bring me one step closer to my goal.

The next year being almost chakraless wouldn't be as bad as I had thought after all.


	7. Own Style

It was six in the morning, the sun slowly illuminating the fields with warm rays of sunshine. A few feet away from me, underneath the shades of a tree, stood the man of my nightmares as well as the key to power and ultimately my freedom.

It was the second day of training since Orochimaru took me under his wing. The day in which he would observe my skills, my strong points as well as my weaknesses and hopefully guide me into eliminating as many weaknesses as possible and refine the skills that I possessed (hopefully without ending up under his knife again).

"You once told me that you believed your taijutsu was your weakest point" Orochimaru's creepy voice broke the silence.

"Yes. I used to be able to easily beat up kids twice my age by the time I was 3, but the older I got, 12 year old's would easily wipe the floor with me, even though I believe my taijutsu stance as well as moves were much better executed than theirs. I realized I was skillful but not skillful enough to match up against superior strength." I tried to be as specific with my answer as possible.

Throughout the years I had talked with Orochimaru, I had come to realize that he gave no advice without me elaborating on the subject thoroughly.

I'd come to understand that Orochimaru did not tolerate any type of ignorance, so first I had to analyze my own situation, understand it and come up with my own conclusion before he gave his input, confirming or correcting my assumptions.

Honestly, I liked the way his system worked, it made me think for myself and not rely too heavily on other people's advice. In my old life, before I could come up with my own conclusions, I would first search up information on the internet and then puzzle together the answer I needed for the problem I had been faced with.

So, despite real people not being involved in me helping to get advice, it was a type of help nonetheless, which made it much more forgivable to not think for myself and simply let others do the hard work.

However, in this world, information was sacred. Any good advice would only be given if 100% trust was involved. It was one of the main reasons why each hidden village had their own techniques. It's because they didn't want to share. Sharing information of certain skills or simply giving advice of how to better one's technique could be devastating if you weren't sure that information was going to be used for your benefit.

So, in conclusion, Orochimaru was training me in a subtle way not to rely on others and instead think of the answers myself, making me a valuable source of information instead of the one seeking information. Clever, honestly. He was enforcing his way of life to me. Think, analyze and experiment to find your answers no matter the costs. It would not matter if innocent lives were to be used for such benefits. Be your own source of information.

Had I been truly a child, that subtle training would have easily molded me into what he wanted. Alas I already had the mind of an adult… but then again…

To be truthful, I wasn't completely against the idea. Would I sacrifice lives if it meant making me strong, independent, _free_? Yes. Yes, I would. I wouldn't hesitate.

In my previous life, I had thought of killing out of hate, out of spite. The only thing that had held me back was the law. If I was caught, my freedom would be taken away from me with a slamming hammer. However, there was no penalty for simply imagining it. Slitting their throat… Pushing them down the stairs… Choking them to death…

And there certainly was no such penalty in _this_ world.

I caught Orochimaru's snakelike eyes boring into mine. It immediately snapped me out of my thoughts.

Shit… For how long had I been staring into nothing? For how long had _he_ been staring at _me_? And why hadn't he said anything? Weren't we supposed to be training? Or something?

HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE STARING AT ME!

"The expressions you make Aika are quite interesting to observe. One moment you're looking dead serious, the next you make a guilty face, then you start smirking and lastly you get this certain glint in your eyes. As if you…" Orochimaru's mouth twisted into one of his creepy smirks.

Uh oh…

"Care to share your thoughts?"

Ugh… I could hardly tell Orochimaru I was comparing this world's system to that of my old life as well as my morals. Or the fact that I actually have started thinking highly of this creeper. No matter how much of a pedo he might be, he was a freaking genius.

"No." I said before I could stop myself, which in turn made me slap my mouth shut with both my hands.

From Orochimaru's surprised expression, that had certainly NOT been the answer he had been looking for.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

"Well, I guess we start training then."

Wait… That was it? No pushing for answers? No threatening, no nothing?

"As you said before you went on your memory trip, the older you got, the more matches you lost when going up against older children, which I assume you expected the opposite to happen.

It is not only skill and the lack of strength which brought upon those loses. It is your overall built. You are going to be a very petite woman Aika-chan. Meaning strength will never be your strong point, chakra enhanced or not. And the taijutsu style you have been learning is standard to almost every village and was designed to enhance your already present strength.

So, the stronger you are, the more effective this standard taijutsu will be suited for you. Alas, your body is built for flexibility and speed and less for strength."

"So all the work I've put in these last 5 years has been for naught?" I interrupted, annoyed at the fact that I had wasted valuable years in which I could have invested in something more useful.

I did not have time to waste damnit! In about 7 years shit would hit the fan, let alone in 10 where all the whole Eternal Tsukuyomi shit happened!

"Yes and No. It is an advantage and a disadvantage that you know this type of taijutsu. The positive outlook on having already learnt one it is that despite it having been the wrong type of taijutsu for your body-" and why did that sound so fucking creepy? "- you now have the general idea of what to work with and look upon when dealing with close combat."

"So, the positive thing is the experience?" Well, bullshit, it would have been so much more productive had I started with the right one from the very beginning!

"In short, yes. Now the disadvantage is, having already learnt one taijutsu style, it will interfere with learning a new one, seeing as your body is used to those moves."

"So, in the end the disadvantage lays heavier than the advantage" I frowned. Well, didn't that suck. Five years of self-study for naught!

"Calm your temper Aika-chan, it is for a reason that academy students don't start training till a certain age."

"Yes, but I wanted to be BETTER than everyone!" My frustration got the better of me, leading to me basically yelling at Orochimaru's face. It should have mortified me, it should have made him angry! But no, he was as calm as ever.

"We need to work on keeping your emotions in check." He simply sighed.

It had been years since I last saw the series, but I could not remember Orochimaru having been such a patient man… Then again, you had to be with all the plans he had in stow. They basically required for him to wait for YEARS to get the wanted result.

I still was pissed though.

"I trained myself since I could walk! I wanted to surpass everyone, I wanted to be the _best_!"

"And it is because of that reason and ambition that you are constantly in my presence. I will guide you for you to find your true strength. Have I not proven the length I am willing to go to make you truly strong?"

Well, wasn't that the subtlest way of manipulation I've ever been presented with.

Note the sarcasm.

You're not fooling me Orochi-pedo-maru! I know I'm just a damned experiment for you.

"Although… Tell me Aika-chan. What drives you to be strong?"

I stood still for a few seconds.

Well, how the fuck am I going to answer that?

Oh, you know, I know the future and stuff and some pretty crazy shit is gonna happen in about a few years! Would like to come out alive from that nightmare thank you very much. Freedom in this world doesn't come without blood splatter.

But then again, had I not already said it before. The best lies are those built on truth.

"In this world Orochimaru-sama, it is only the strong that survive, while the weak get eaten up. I refuse to simply lay down and be just another pawn that can be tossed away the second I lose value."

And technically, what I said was not a lie at all.

At those words Orochimaru started to laugh.

"Such maturity for one so small." I glared. Why did every sentence he said sound like some type of innuendo?

"Don't worry Aika-chan. You will certainly be one of the best, I'll personally see to it" The grin on Orochimaru's face was quite unnerving. It caused a shiver to run down my spine. However, what truly terrified me were the eyes he was looking at me with. They were cold and calculating, just like the look he had given be while I had been conscious during _that_ nightmare.

"Well, now that we know where the faults lie and you are also aware of the problem, it is time to find you a taijutsu style which will fit your body type."

Seeing as Orochimaru had returned back to sensei mode, I swallowed the fear which had started to surface back down and went back to listening to what he had to say.

"Do you have any type of taijutsu style in mind Aika-chan?" Orochimaru asked, the smirk never leaving his pale snake face.

"I… I had been thinking of a hit and run type of style. Similar to assassination techniques, seeing as they strike from the shadows, hopefully finishing their target with one swift move before retreating back into hiding."

Orochimaru chuckled.

Fucking hell, I hope I hear that sound as RARELY as possible cause it sounded like the freaking WORLD was going to end.

"Wouldn't that be cowardly? I thought you were aiming for strength Aika-chan."

My right eyebrow twitched.

"I am not aiming for physical strength. I am aiming for the top!"

And Orochimaru laughed.

Dear whatever entity sent me here, please make it stop!

"Tell me Aika-chan, what if you came into a situation where you have nowhere to run to if you failed your kill strike? Say you are fighting one with the Byakugan, there are no shadows to hide from. What if you are caught and are not able to escape close combat?"

Am I even supposed to know what a Byakugan is? I've never encountered it in books and Orochimaru never shared that bit of information with me.

"Byakugan?" I asked just to not appear suspicious. I did not want to give him any more reason to experiment with me any further than he already was.

"Ah right. You wouldn't know. It's a Kekkei Genkai encountered in the Land of Fire, specifically Konohagakure. A trait of the Hyuga Clan, the users usually have white irises as well as pupils.

It's a Dojutsu which gives you a 360° view of the entire environment as well as a precise outlook on the chakra pathways in every living being. It is impossible to hide from the Byakugan once you get into the users range and those can span for several kilometers."

The Byakugan was a truly terrifying Dojutsu. Pity the Sharingan simply took all the limelight. Honestly, I wish the Byakugan had had a more significant role in the Narutoverse rather than just being the _other_ Dojutsu.

"What a terrific Dojutsu to have."

"Indeed Aika-chan. There have been many attempts at stealing that particular Dojutsu. Though to my knowledge, all the attempts were just that. Attempts. But now that you are aware of what the Byakugan is capable of, what would you do when you are laid bare to your opponent's eyes?"

Honestly, there wasn't much to think about. If the enemy was stronger than me and I had no way of hiding and planning out my attacks from a distance then…

"I'll use every dirty trick in my arsenal if it comes down to it."

Orochimaru grinned.

"And that is the keyword Aika-chan. Seeing as you lack in strength, you're going to have to cheat yourself through a fight. Of course, we're speaking about using only taijutsu. If ninjutsu is also involved, then the whole scenario would turn out quite different."

"Speaking of ninjutsu Orochimaru-sama, I won't be able to use chakra for at least one year, right? Won't that hold me back?"

"As a matter of fact, it won't. You might not be able to use your chakra to its full potential and learn new jutsus, but I wouldn't teach you this early on anyways. I have told you before, the reason why the operation was such a success was because your chakra coils are not fully developed and in this timespan, where the chakra coils have yet to reach maximum output, it is forbidden for students to learn any jutsu in case of damaging them, no matter how low the chance.

The only thing you'll be doing chakra related this year are control exercises, meaning lots of meditating and of course when experimenting with your vocal range and how you affect your surroundings."

"That is good to hear." I sighed in relief.

This bit of information made me feel 10 times better. I had been so worried, having lost 5 years to doing absolutely nothing of advantage regarding taijutsu had rubbed me the wrong way. Being behind in chakra control and ninjutsu would have really done me in. I'd be beyond pissed at my situation at that point.

Well, thank god all those fanfics were wrong. By this age those OCs would already be chunin or AT LEAST genin level! Thankfully this reality was a different world from the ones I'd read.v

And besides, wasn't Naruto a complete disaster until he went on his trip with Jiraya? Granted, he was a freak of nature… but then again, am I not just as much of a freak as he is? Reborn with memories intact and with future knowledge. I'd be damned if I did not end up on the Bingo book at some point.

"Enough chatter then, we have a separate hour for all the talking to be done." With confidence back on my side, knowing that I could still catch up with the monsters, my expression went serious as I looked at Orochimaru's form. My key to power. My key to freedom.

"Attack me Aika-chan. Let's see how skilled you truly are in taijutsu."

I nodded, words no need to be conveyed.

I did not hold back. Of course, I did not hold back, how could I. This man could rip my heart out with his freaking tongue, there is no way I'd hold back when my taijutsu was mediocre at best. And even though I was attacking with all my might, I had come to notice that he hadn't even moved from the spot we started. The only things moving where his hands. No, not hands, _hand_. Just his freaking LEFT hand.

Bitch.

Punch. Kick. Punch. Punch. Kick. It went on and on, until my breathing started to get shallow and erratic. And I wanted to go one. At least TRY to make him use another limb but…

"Enough."

I immediately stopped.

Well, that was short lived.

Approximately 3 minutes. That's how long I could fight with maximum output before I tired. It was… pathetic.

"Your stances were all accurate enough. The forms nearly perfect. Your punches however lacked in strength. The longer your fought, the weaker your attacks got."

I nodded with furrowed brows.

"This taijutsu tires you way too fast. Because you try to put maximum output so that your attacks can do at least some damage, with every kick and punch, it takes more energy than is required. Similar to a human trying to walk on all fours rather than simply on his legs.

We already stated that you would need a new taijutsu style, but now I know exactly how atrocious this style is for you and your still growing physique."

Well that sounded absolutely peachy. Atrocious he said. I had already speculated that taijutsu wasn't really for me, but as to call it atrocious kinda hurt. My stances might have been perfect but it still sucked to know that these past 5 years I had learned squat apparently because my type of body disagreed.

Wasn't that wonderful.

Ugh, I don't know if I miss my old life or not. Training and studying so hard each day SUCKS. I might have been doing this shit for the past few years, but I still couldn't really get used to putting so much effort into something.

At least I was great at shurikenjutsu.

I sighed.

"Tell me Aika-chan, what do you think of fighting with weapons?"

I stared for a few seconds. Weren't kunai and shuriken weapons? They were kind of necessary in a ninjas life no? And I was already great at weapon fighting, what with me putting Itachi to the dirt with my skills in throwing weapons (yes, I was nosy enough to let myself believe that I was BETTER at one skill than the rumored genius Uchiha).

"Ah, you misunderstood me Aika-chan. I meant to get specialized in a specific type of weapon jutsu. Such as the katana, kodachi, naginata or kusarigama to name a few."

Oh…

"Since I don't have enough strength to harm my opponents, I should use the aid of a weapon instead to make up for the lack of damage on my side. Like so, I wouldn't need to exert myself trying to get a powerful hit on my opponent's face, instead I could focus on angling the weapon just the right way to cause lethal wounds." I said it more to myself rather than to Orochimaru.

Well… weapons were rather cool. I'd definitely want to get good with some type of weapon, I mean how badass would that be! The question is… which weapon did I want to use for my fighting style? And would I just be limited to sharp objects?

Time to analyze the powers I would specialize in. Or at least I planned on specializing in.

Primary ninjutsu were Sound Release jutsu, meaning I would most likely keep my opponents at a distance by blasting them away with sound waves if they got too cuddly with me. Since I am really good at shurikenjutsu, I will most likely use kunai or shuriken to deal damage from a distance and will avoid close combat like the plague (for obvious reasons).

However, now, if I was put in a situation where I could not keep my distance… What I would have at disposal would be this weapon I would choose and speed, as I certainly planned on attaining speed of sound one way or another. So, any weapon which weighted too much, or was too long would hinder my movement, so that would be a nono. I was aiming for fluidity, being able to sneak at every opening my opponent leaves without exception.

"Are the weapons you stated the only choices given to me Orochimaru-sama?"

The Pedo Snake simply did his trademark pedo smile and answered in his weird seductive yet creepy voice. Gosh, the habits of this snake. Sometimes I wonder if sage mode doesn't alter just appearance but also your freaking brain, seeing as Orochimaru's behavior resembles a snake at a freakish level.

"No, I have a wide variety of weapons you can choose from my collection. Unfortunately, they are in one of the other bases, which we won't be going to till the end of this month."

And seeing as this month had just started, I would be left thinking of weapon choices out of my head (which really, weren't that many as I knew almost NOTHING about weaponry), unless Orochimaru provided me with some type of weapon catalogue.

With a sigh (gosh I was sighing too much) I nodded.

"Do you have something in mind Aika-chan?" He dragged my name. I was resisting the powerful urge of twitching my eye. WHY. DID. HE. MAKE. IT. SOUND. SO. FUCKING. WRONG. UGH!

With a polite cough to hide my irritation, I answered.

"Not of a specific weapon, I am not very well informed about different types of weaponry I fear. However I was thinking that the weapon should not be very long and certainly not heavy. I want maximum mobility. Seeing as strength is my weakest point, I want speed to make up for my lack of muscle, which should, by all means, be doable."

"Quite right. You have an agile build, a light weight, speed will definitely be in your favor Aika-chan. From the description of your weapon choice though, I would wager you were thinking of something similar to daggers or maybe even brass knuckles." A tongue slipped out of his never ending creepy smirk.

Fucking creeper.

Daggers and brass knuckles huh. That didn't sound so bad. The former though I believe is a more likely type of an assassination weapon. A bit of poison on the blade and the enemy should be dead within minutes.

Double daggers maybe? Would certainly work.

"I'll… think about it."

"See that you do. Now that we know how hideous the standard taijutsu is for you as well as what you want to focus on, let's start with the _real_ training."

And so, Orochimaru began to train me to the bone for the entire month only in taijutsu, until we changed base and I could also choose a definite weapon.

Seeing as neither I, nor Orochimaru knew of a taijutsu style which focused specifically on speed and agility (his snake style did not count, he used cheats for that), we had to get creative… Either try to steal a taijutsu scroll from another country and hope it's the right one for me (which was unreliable und a bit difficult to do) or make up my own one…

The second option it was.

It was a tiring process, more so for me than for Orochimaru. He mostly let me do the thinking, made me do the suggestions, before agreeing or disagreeing with it and adding his own input to the matter, refining it. He was very strict in my training to finding my own fighting style.

I had to consider what powers I would be using, which skills I planned on honing the most. In the hours of the day I spent researching, I mostly looked up sound jutsu which I would see myself using in battle quite often, then discussing those with Orochimaru and how I visualized them in battle (which fortunately were most of the time accurate and valid battle scenarios).

As I researched further and further for weapon choices, daggers became more and more appealing to be used in close combat (plus they had a badass factor to them, which was a HUGE bonus).

Around the research I did throughout the day, I formed the stances (having looked up various taijutsu styles in the archive Orochimaru held), mixing them, twisting them and even adding elements of martial arts I had watched once upon a time on YouTube (sometimes even dance moves).

My taijutsu style began with simply chopped off stances which were difficult to get to blend together, despite having each move be fluid to and on itself. However, with time it became more and more graceful, resembling more a dance rather than some fighting style as the movements were modified to flow naturally with one another.

As my style got better and better, more and more suitable for battle (though painfully slow as it happened), each day I continued to practice my notes, though at first, I had to get the coating sound with chakra thing right.

GOSH.

THAT HAD BEEN SO HARD! Orochimaru had made it look like a piece of cake, but let me tell you, IT IS NOT EASY TO COAT VIBRATIONS WITH CHAKRA AS THEY FLOAT ON AIR.

That shit, had taken me the entire month to master, barely before Orochimaru decided it was time to move.

You know, I had imagined the coating sound thing to be like a bubble holding in the sound. Nope. That concept had been completely off the hooker. The only thing it had done was mute the sound in the area of effect.

No. You had to match the chakra with the vibrations, basically make it follow the sound, make it mesh in with them and then control the FREAKING BULL OF FREQUENCIES with the FUCKING chakra. Imagine it like a braid. You had three pieces of hair and you intertwine them with one another as they build one beautiful giant braid. They are in a way separated from one another but as one piece changes direction the other two automatically follow.

Confusing.

I know.

It.

Had.

Required.

So.

MUCH!

Chakra control.

I was SO fucking happy to have that finished. Meditation had really helped on that end of the spectrum. Not that I was off the hooker with meditation (even if I felt like sleeping most of the time. I never did of course). Despite me not being able to use the chakra, I was starting to get a quite good grasp of how my chakra flowed as well as get familiarized with the new chakra nature flowing in my body. Honestly, I liked wind type chakra so much better than lighting. Wind had this calming effect, while Lighting always set me on edge.

Despite having studied for the past 5 years, I felt like in that month with Orochimaru I had learned more things than I had ever in both of my lives. I begrudgingly had to admit, Orochimaru was a fantastic teacher. And, gosh was he patient. SO patient. I always got so frustrated when I couldn't grasp something fast enough, often snapping. But Orochimaru. He had been so supportive, I did not know what to think of that.

He was a creeper. That was undeniable. And definitely a pedophile. But he still was the best motherfucking teacher I had ever had on the entire years I had been alive.

**(To Love a Song)**

Months passed, and I had finally decided upon taking the daggers, the weapons easily melting with my style. It was so easy to switch from close combat to ranged combat, and with each day this transition became more and more fluid.

My shuriken jutsu had become perfect, I rarely, if ever, missed the target. Orochimaru had made for me custom throwing weapons, the kunai much smaller but much much sharper (deadlier) than normal kunai. They would be even deadlier once I incorporated Sound Jutsu. And with small sizes like these, I could easily fit at least 10kunai around my thigh, as I had now permanently a pouch (more like pouches) resting around my upper leg.

My daggers were now also a permanent fixture on my body as they rested on my back, seethed behind the belt I was wearing. The outfit I had attained for myself didn't look much like ninja garment, more like the style of westernized assassins. Tight dark green pants, with standard black ninja shoes (they were ugly but practical nonetheless) and a sleeveless top, the neckline similar to that of a turtle neck.

Overall, I had started to create my ninja style, in combat as well as in fashion.

Orochimaru also never seemed to stay for long in one place, constaly changing bases. I did not know if that was because he had business to do in each of the bases or it was simply his paranoia which did not allow him to stay in one place for long in fear of being detected.

Somehow, I got the feeling it was a mix of both.

In those months travelling and changing scenarios, my studies had not wavered and my training was constant. Orochimaru found every day, time to train me and teach me, though the rest of the days I had no lessons with him, he would simply vanish. It was impossible to track him down.

I was however extremely pleased to see how far I had come, my chakra control getting better and better as my healing chakra coils settled in. I could now easily walk up on trees once again and had recently also started the water walking exercise in a nearby lake.

With my frequency research with ultrasound waves and normal soundwaves, I had finally discovered how to cause cardiac arrest in a living being, having first tested it on a poor animal (it had been a bunny, poor thing. It had hurt my animal loving heart so much) and then I had finally tested it on a real human (provided by the one and only Orochi-pedo-maru). That man had been… my first kill.

It had been a young man, maybe around his early to mid-twenties. Honestly… he had been a pathetic sight. He was an ugly human being, very obvious alone and probably had no one to search after him if he disappeared. Probably why Orochimaru had picked him as a victim. He cried, begged and even soiled his pants as I had tested my song on him. He had felt the way his heart was acting up, skipping beats or beating too fast at random times, though none of those were truly random.

What I had discovered with the song while experimenting on him however, was that it could be easily interrupted (and yes, it was an actual song of death. I had used normal notes, audible to the human ears, albeit on the soprano side, only for the last note to reach ultra soundwaves, causing the heart to collapse). If there was any other sound which meshed with the song, it would ultimately be null and void. Which was quite counterproductive. So, in order to actually kill the man, I had to work in a really quiet environment and Orochimaru had to mute the male by cutting his vocal cords and tying him so that he could create no noise whatsoever.

In the end… the death had been disappointing. Very anticlimactic.

My first kill… it hadn't really felt like one. He had been breathing one moment and the next… nothing. Dead.

Maybe I should have felt remorse, guilt, SOMETHING. Some type of anger or shock or hell even happiness. But really, it had simply felt like another day went by with nothing interesting to report. Well, except for my findings of course. I think it was the lack of gore that had not given me the initial reaction I had expected for my first kill. Or maybe Orochimaru had been rubbing on me? Maybe I would never feel anything towards any kill.

It kind of scared me. This lack of… reaction.

Either way, I had found the song of death literally, which ironically consisted of 666 notes (though the 666th note was silent to the human ear). It was a haunting music, the notes blending well with one another, the end of the song left a bit open as the last note was a silent echo.

Now I only had to find out what to do so that the song will actually work in noisy environments, else this whole research would have been for naught.

One year went by like so, training, learning, experimenting (but no more kills since the first one. Maiming sure, but never a true kill) until one-day Orochimaru decided to take a trip.

A trip despite having departed alone, returned with a boy in tow. White hair. Red dots.

Well, at least now I knew for sure what timeline I was in.

The Kaguya clan was no more.


	8. Possible Friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry forgot to post a chapter yesterday ^^' I'll just post two today to make up for the one I forgot :3

The months Orochimaru had disappeared were quite… lonely. I was not happy to admit it, but Orochimaru's presence had become second nature to me. He had been there since the very beginning, ignoring the fact that in the beginning I wanted him very much very dead.

But, since I had come in his care this past year, he had never failed to grace me with his presence. Having his creepy ass gone felt just… wrong. He had been my only real human interaction I had had since leaving my former home… if I could even really call it that.

The hours of discussions I had with him were now free time. It did not sit well with me. Those interactions had become the highlights of my day. It kinda boosted my confidence knowing Pedo-maru actually appreciated my opinion and when he praised me it was… yeah, let's not talk about that.

I kept comparing my current self to that of my previous life and had come to realize, how different I had become. Whereas in my former life, knowledge came to me without effort, in this one I had to work hard to acquire the knowledge that would aid me in life. I relied no longer on my luck or the internet for that matter, instead I poured my everything into hard work, reading through countless scrolls, forming my own thoughts upon the subject and even creating my own content so to speak, for later generations to read. Orochimaru had taught me well.

I would have never thought I'd be writing at the age of 7 (cough27cough) my own book with skills I had researched to the last drop with countless failures documented and skills I had created myself. I didn't know how I felt about making my work available for others to learn from, I liked to keep my unique stuff… well unique to only myself. I was selfish like that.

Plus, in the ninja world, nothing came without hard work, no matter how much of a prodigy you might be. And this research was evidence of MY hard work and simply giving it up to some buffoon who thought he can simply read what I had poured my heart and soul in just did not sit well with me.

For all the knowledge I had from my previous life, math, literature, biology, chemistry, informatic, all those were for naught. I had forgotten most of those in the passing years, despite having been stellar in all those subjects. It goes to show, that I never truly studied and more just remembered for the time being to present the best results when called for (aka exams). In that case, I was the buffoon not even appreciating the hard work those researchers had put into their books in order for me to get educated.

But with this new body, came new responsibilities. My brain capacities weren't the same either, though I do believe that in this life, I had been blessed with a greater intelligence than my former one. Or maybe I had simply become wiser and appreciated the work people put in their research much more? Not that it made that much of a difference. It simply allowed me to understand Orochimaru better and I could keep up with the research and explanations he was so kind to share with me. Though, I truly wondered, how was Orochimaru so sure that I would not use this knowledge against him? Was he truly that much more superior that in the few years that would come I still wouldn't pose at least a tiny little bit of a threat to him? Sasuke certainly proved him wrong in the two years he had been in his care.

I sighed.

I had also come to realize that I relied a great deal on Orochimaru. No matter which way I turned my thoughts, they would ALWAYS involve Pedo Snake one way or another. It was unnerving, how important Orochimaru had become to my current self.

He was my mentor as well as a… parent in a way. That ought to tell how horrible my parents of my former and current life were if Orochimaru had taken now the parental place. Or maybe it wasn't my biological parent's but I myself with the problems? Would explain why Orochimaru is taking a parental role in my mind…

Gosh, I don't wanna think about that anymore.

After being done with the training I could do without the need of Orochimaru's presence (which really wasn't that much), I was now stuck in the hour of discussion, which of course I had no one to discuss with.

I needed to find a new occupation. I had played with the idea of starting to learn a musical instrument, however, despite my desire of wanting to learn an instrument, the logical part of me told me that I would gain nothing of benefit if I invested the time to learn one. It would not help me in combat, seeing as my voice already filled that place and an instrument needed to be practiced on a daily basis, if I truly wanted to be good in it. And I really didn't want to half ass things like I did in my former life.

But I really REALLY would have liked to learn one proper instrument in this life. But I knew the ninja life would not allow me such liberties. And the future especially would certainly not allow me such liberties.

In the end, I was extremely happy with my voice either way. It was powerful, melodious, absolutely stunning and not to mention deadly. So, despite being disappointed that even with a second chance given to me, I still couldn't learn an instrument of my likings, I was not sad. I would even go as far as to call myself as being… happy… certain situations aside.

So… what do I do with an unknown amount of free time in my hands?

I had actually started to wonder. The songs I had "composed" (causing nausea, disruption in the functionality of the inner organs, _cardiac arrest_ ) … would it still work if I added lyrics to it? I mean, anime obviously said yes but, this was reality. The anime would have added the lyrics just for setting the right mood, so it was a legitimate question.

And finding the answer to that had become my new occupation. Writing lyrics and seeing if the songs still functioned.

I mean, logically, the notes and tones would stay the same. So technically the lyrics should not have much of an effect on the song, but still… who knows, maybe the words would cause some type of disruption after all.

And so, my time was spent with me writing meaningful lyrics. It was harder than it sounded. I did have a good affinity for writing (I did write a few fanfic here and there), but hell was it hard to write meaningful lyrics without it sounding like complete crap. In a way, it was quite similar to how it was when I had started creating my own taijutsu style. Starting off with choppy lines and modifying them till the lyrics meshed well with the music as well as with the previous lines.

In that way, 2 months passed by quickly enough (though it really could have been quicker if you ask me), and I had discovered that yes, lyrics could be used without it having any effect on the actual music (so long as the song was kept consistent), which was absolutely hilarious and awesome at the same time.

However, I was unsure if I wanted to add lyrics to the Song of Death (for now, that's what I would be calling it, I still had yet to think of a proper name for the insta death song as well as for the other songs, but I had time. I wasn't going to use them anytime soon in combat, since I had yet to find a way to isolate the song from outside noise. And even if I could, it's not like I'd be shouting the name of the song to the enemy before killing them… maybe…).

Wasn't it much more haunting if there were no words confusing the victim before their sure demise? Yeah, the Song of Death would remain without lyrics, that would be official. The others however… I might, who knows.

As the two month mark hit since Orochimaru went on his trip, I simply went on with my morning routine still unaware of when Creepy Snake would actually return.

Wiping off the sweat off my forehead as I had just finished taijutsu training for the day, a creepy voice, a voice I had not realized how much I had missed made its presence known.

"I am pleased to see you training so hard Aika-chan."

I swear I heard my neck snap, that's how fast I turned my head.

"Orochimaru-sensei!"

Yes. Yes, you read it right. It was Orochimaru-sensei now. He had well-earned that title. And the man certainly didn't seem to mind me using it.

The first time I had used it, it had been a slip (I had been calling him that in my mind whenever he went sensei mode on me). I had felt MORTIFIED and so embarresed! I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

Orochimaru however, had simply chuckled (creepy as it sounded) and continued on explaining whatever there was to explain to me.

How had I fallen so low, as to look up to the man which had tortured me, which had violated me, which had destroyed my spirit at one point.

I still had nightmares of the time I had been put on his operation table. I could handle them better now and they were much fewer than they had been in the beginning, however they were still as horrible. The only way those nightmares had not broken me was by thinking about the benefits I had gained.

I don't know at which point, this monster I had been so terrified of had morphed into a mentor I respected, but it had happened and now Orochimaru was a figure I held in high regards.

As I took in creepy Snake's appearance, I noticed he was not alone.

A boy stood a few steps away from Orochimaru, with hair as white as snow, bright green eyes with red lining underneath, and two red symmetrical dots slightly above his white eyebrows. Honestly, the boy was really cute, I would totally pinch his cheeks and fawn over him (despite my dislike for children), had it not been for the fact that I recognized this child and the shock which I found myself in.

Kimimaro.

I had completely forgotten that he exited. That he had, at one point been relevant to the plot before he died. I don't remember much from him but… I know his death had been a sad one.

Well, at least now I knew for sure that I was born in the timeline I wanted to be born into. Hadn't Kimimaro been like 2 or 3 years or so older than the rest of the rookie 9? I wasn't sure, I only knew he had been older. Would that mean that I was born into the rookie 9s generation?

Maybe luck hasn't completely left me after all! Maybe the deity that sent me here did not want to use me just for shits and giggles! Or maybe this was just another ploy to ruin my second chance at life? I mean, it was already pretty much ruined simply with Orochimaru being part of my life (even if I had started to appreciate Pedo Snake lately) so there wasn't much to destroy on that part.

But back to the whitehaired boy next to Pedo-chimaru.

"Who's that?" Even though I so OBVIOUSLY knew who he was, for appearance's sake I asked anyways.

"This, Aika-chan, is Kaguya Kimimaro. He recently lost his clan and will be staying with us from now on." As the words left Orochimaru's mouth, excitement started bubbling up inside me. And I knew exactly what kind of bubbling this was.

My inner fangirl, which had been dormant for the past 7 years was about to awaken. I knew it was Kimimaro. By all means I knew this child was Kimimaro. But having it confirmed by Orochimaru… To have finally one character I had liked to enter the picture (even if I had forgotten his existence at some point… You can't blame me for that, after Naruto he never ever got mentioned or was relevant in ANY way to the plot. He basically disappeared from existence!) …

I felt the bubble that had started to inflate inside my stomach, the moment my brain was finished processing, pop.

"Oh. My. God! I'm FINALLT gonna have a training partner close to my level, YES!" Obviously, that wasn't at all the reason why I was in fangirl mode and jumping back and forth like a maniac, but I somehow had to justify my burst of happiness.

I flew so fast by Pedo Snake completely ignoring him in favor to meeting the boy (and isn't that ironic, since I had been so mopy about Orochimaru NOT being here), he could have sworn I had mastered Speed of Sound the months he had been away. Quickly grabbing the pale boy's hands into mine, with a huge grin plastered into my face I introduced myself.

"My name is Haruta Aika, Orochimaru-sensei's apprentice! Pleased to meet you Kimimaro-KUN!"

The poor boy, barely a second in the base was completely startled. He blinked a few times, a pink hue coloring his cheeks as he tried to form his own words. AND WASN'T THAT ADORABLE?!

"P…Pleased to meet you t…too… Haruta-san…" An awkward smile on his face.

"Oh please no need to be so formal, Kimimaro-kun! Simply calle me Aika-chan!"

"Now, now Aika-chan, we don't need to overwhelm our new member." Honestly, Orochimaru had not expected such a strong reaction from me at all, that much was apparent on his face. Did I even notice a sweat drop on the side of his brow?

I got to admit, I had acted very much out of character, but could you blame me? A cute, little Kimimaro was standing in front of me, being cute and polite and shit AND OH MY GOD I COULDN'T HANDLE THIS! I had not expected this day to get THIS good. I could have kissed Orochimaru right now for bringing Kimimaro here!

…

Ugh… Ignore that part, I never said that…

"Well, now that the introductions have been made, Aika-chan, would you care to show Kimimaro to his room. I unfortunately still have some unfinished business but should be back by tonight or at least tomorrow early.

Training of course will take place as normal. I will be present.

As for Kimimaro's room, you can choose either of the free rooms next to yours."

"Will do!"

Once Orochimaru was gone I turned to the boy, watching him immediately getting tense.

"He'll be back before you know it Kimimaro-kun! Please follow me and I'll show you your room." I said cheerfully. Despite the boy's discomfort I couldn't help the fangirlish thoughts entering my mind. Oh hell freaking yeah, Kimimaro was mine!

From the little bits I could still remember from the actual plot in Naruto, Kimimaro had been quite smitten with Orochimaru, going so far as laying his life for Pedo Snake's benefit. I did not like the fact that he basically worshipped the ground Orochimaru walked on, but maybe I could change that?

After all, I was an unknown factor in this world, I was bound to change things, especially having Orochimaru be my mentor. At some point, I was bound to meet up with Sasuke, that freaking emo and I'd be damned if I didn't knock some sense into that angsty brain of his. So, I'd be aiming for changes one way or another!

However, till Sasuke entered the picture was still quite a few years away. I mean, currently Sasuke should be a happy go lucky child with a fierce brother complex (not that he ever lost that). Had the massacre even happened yet? Probably not, else Orochimaru would know of it already and eventually word would come to me. Or maybe it was all hush hush? When did Itachi even join Akatsuki?

Either way, right now I'd rather focus on the cute white-haired boy following my every step!

"Kimimaro-kun, it's really alright if you call me Aika-chan, Orochimaru-sensei does it all the time. I won't mind at all" I told him with a smile.

"That's very kind of you Aika-san." He replied politely. San. Oh well, at least it's first name basis. He would open up to me eventually. At some point…

 _All in due time_ \- I told myself - _All in due time_.

"You must be pretty skillful if Orochimaru-sensei brought you here with him. Up till now, I was the only student he was teaching." The way to my room was quite far from the training ground I used, so making some small talk and getting to know the boy would be nice.

"Your words honor me. I believe it is for my unique abilities that Orochimaru-sama took me in his care."

I already knew what those unique abilities were, but I wanted to ask anyways. Maybe there was some unknown factor to the kekkei genai (honestly, I had no clue what the bone kekkei genkai's name was) which Kishimoto had not covered.

"What unique abilities?"

"It is my clan's kekkei genkai, Shikotsumyaku. I am able to manipulate the bones inside my body."

Shukotsumyaku… Gosh what a mouthful.

"Really? So, you can grow bone at your will? Can you also modify their shape? Is it rude of me to ask of you to show me?" I knew how valuable kekkei genkai's were in the Narutoverse, so I was extra careful to ask of Kimimaro to show me his.

"My bones can reproduce in seconds however as far as I am aware, my kekkeigenkai does not allow the manipulation of my bone structure. And no, I don't mind showing you Aika-san." Oh, wasn't he the kindest and politest bean in the entire universe!

We stopped in the middle of our track, as I watched a bone pierce through the skin on Kimimaro's hand, but no blood came out of the wound.

Frankly… it was really disturbing to see something like that in real life. I could see some of the inner flesh peak out as the bone formed. I was fascinated by this… but also a bit disgusted.

"Does it hurt?"

It looked like it would hurt.

"No." He replied calmly.

"Can I touch it?"

The saying goes curiosity killed the cat...

"You may."

But satisfaction brought it back.

I carefully touched the bone. It was smooth, sturdy, the tip of the bone extremely sharp. The flesh that surrounded the bone looked raw, a pinkish hue around the ring. It looked really tender. It felt like the bone had always been there though, as if it hadn't pierced the skin just a few moments ago. As if the bone was supposed to exist there rather than simply being an anomaly.

"Fascinating" I mumbled to myself.

My deep green eyes met bright green ones.

"Kimimaro-kun. Would you like to spar after you've settled in your room? Though don't get too comfy in it, Orochimaru likes to switch places every few weeks." I warned.

The white-haired boy bowed slightly and spoke.

"It would be an honor."

Gosh, Kimimaro was so polite, I did not know if I found that adorable or irritating the more I watched it happen. A bit of both I guess. I really wanted to become an important friend to him. I wanted this character to cease being a character, just like Orochimaru was no longer a villain from a story, but rather the monster of my nightmares, my mentor as well as my only parental image.

The rest of the trip went silent… well not completely, somewhere along the road I had started humming a melody which I had loved (still do) in my previous life. A Ghibli song to be exact which had been stuck in my mind since my former childhood into adulthood and even followed me into this life. It was a happy and springy tune, which I found quite befitting for the mood I was in.

( **A/N:** If anyone is interested what song I'm talking about, it's called "A town with an ocean view" and it truly is a song I remember since childhood despite having heard it only in the movie. I actually recently found out what it's title was but anyways, on with the story!).

Fifteen minutes later, we had reached out destination and were well into the base's halls, which resembled a labyrinth more than an actual hallway. Thankfully I had a good enough sense of direction, so I was able to memorize the pathways well enough without getting completely lost.

"Here we are. This is the door to my room!" I said, a smile brightly placed on my lips. Not that it had ever left my lips or dimmed in any way. I was in an awesome mood!

"You can choose either of the rooms, left or right, whichever you prefer. I can show you how each one looks like, however there isn't much of a difference between them. They all look the same boring empty way." I told the boy.

"There is no need to show me, I'll simply take the one on the right. Thank you very much Aika-san."

"You're welcome Kimimaro-kun! As for the spar, would you prefer it today, or would you like to relax today and have it tomorrow instead? I mean, it was kind of inconsiderate of me to ask you for a spar today when you've probably been traveling for so long."

And his clan had also been destroyed even if he did not look particularly devastated on that fact. That ought to make a kid beyond tired.

"Maybe tomorrow would be a wiser choice, then I'll be rested. I'll be looking forward to tomorrow." He bowed.

"Okay! Don't want to fight a partner who can barely stand up before the fight has even started, right?" Did I see his eye twitch?

"If you need any help, simply knock on my door, I'll be in my room for the rest of the day studying, so feel free to bother me." I might like gaining knowledge but nobody said anything about liking studying. No normal human being likes studying. No one.

"I shall take you to your request then Aika-san. I once again thank you for your aid."

"Welcome, welcome!" My goodness, so polite.

As I saw Kimimaro disappear in his new room, I made my way into mine and frowned at the sight of scrolls piled up on my desk. Back to finding the answer of how to make my song "jutsus" work in a noisy environment.

The thought made me sigh. I had been researching for a solution to that for so long and still nothing!

Or I could think about Kimimaro...

Hmmm, studying or Kimimaro…

I think it was obvious which option I went with.

So, time to think of what had happened in the story with Kimimaro.

Lemme think…

Orochimaru planned on taking Kimimaro's body as his new host, that I could remember clearly. However, I also did remember there had been some type of hiccup that had disrupted that plan for Orochimaru and in the end, he had been unable to take Kimimaro's body. But what had stopped him from taking it? Did he die before Orochimaru could take his body? But then again, he could have done it before the whole Konoha invasion thingy. Maybe Orochimaru had deemed him not good enough at that time though. After all, he had waited on taking Sasuke's body as well and that essentially spelled his demise.

Maybe it was the fight with the third Hokage? He had used some jutsu stealing technique hadn't he? Or did he simply cur Orochimaru's arms? It was Orochimaru had been unable to use his 100% something with his arms. That had prevented him from using the body switch jutsu no?

But then again, how come Kimimaro died? He was like 10 times stronger than all the rookies as far as I remembered? Who did he even fight to begin with?

Maybe it was the curse mark which gave him some type of side effect? Nah, Orochimaru would have removed it otherwise if it gave Kimimaro negative effects.

What had caused Kimimaro to fail as the next host for Orochimaru's body?

What reasons could Orochimaru have for dropping such a powerful body? Obviously, something that would either make his powers fade or maybe even cause death? A poison maybe? A mortal wound? A failing organ? An illness?

Oh…

An illness.

But then there was Kabuto. He was a medical genius, he would have surely found some solution, right? Unless it was something like cancer which can't possibly be healed… but they have chakra. Cancer stand's no chance against chakra, no way. But then why couldn't he possibly be healed?

Unless Kimimaru's body functioned in another way than that of a normal person. After all, he had a kekkei genkai that affected his whole body. It would be logical if his body structure was not similar to ours.

Wasn't Kaguya some kind of alien species anyways?

So, Kimimaru would get deathly ill…

Well… That made me sad. I mean… I had wanted to befriend Kimimaro… And knowing that he would die… And so soon at that

However, once again, wasn't I an x factor in this story. Maybe I could change this. Maybe I could somehow prevent this illness, or even cure it!

Yeah fat chance of that happening.

But I was no medical expert and never would be. If Kabuto couldn't have been able to do it then, how would I?

Maybe ultra sounds could help? I mean, apparently there is a song of healing or shit like that, that means that Sound Jutsu could be used for healing as well! In some way at least.

Maybe I could map out his body structure for Kabuto to study closer. After all, if you can understand the body, the illness, there is a high chance to finding the solution you're looking for. That would certainly be no problem. It would be lots of detailed work, but I could manage. And if not, I'd simply have to push myself well and beyond.

And at least it was something to do, something to help.

But what would happen if Kimimaro survived. He would die anyways when Orochimaru took his body. And Kimimaro was pretty dead set on giving his body to Orochimaru. He is such a devoted idiot I swear.

Ugh… So, if I let him be he will die. And if I save him he will die…

Great.

Simply great.

Unless I could time it so that he was still recovering from his illness during the invasion and then I could easily take up Kimimaro's place in the Sound Five and fight whomever of the Rookie 9 he was supposed to fight.

And then Sasuke would come, take Kimimaro's place as body vessel and then Orochimaru would semi-die.

Meaning Kimimaro would survive, I'd gain my freedom and then I could manipulate the story and fuck the shit out of it just the way I like.

It was a plan… A plan that could so easily fail, but a plan nonetheless. What other choice did I have anyways.

I wanted a friend.

I had been denied proper parents because of circumstances and their cowardly stupidity, but I wouldn't allow myself to go on without a friend either. I didn't care that he was 9 years old, I was childish myself, so screw that, I'm befriending this child and keeping him alive no matter the cost.

Besides, I had a feeling, despite my true age being 27 right now, Kimimaro was mature enough to actually become a true friend.

A knock on my door broke me out of my musings.

"Yes?"

The boy which had been occupying my thoughts stood in the doorframe.

"Kimimaro-kun!" I honestly did not expect to see the boy for the rest of the day (I simply made the offer justto be polite… and because I needed distractions while studying… not that I was studying at the moment), so seeing him not half an hour after being separated quite shocked me.

"Excuse me for my intrusion Aika-san."

"No problem at all Kimimaro-kun, I'm very happy to see you" I answered honestly, the smile once again on my face.

"Do you need something from me?"

"You have been Orochimaru's apprentice for quite a while now, right?"

I simply nodded.

"What is… Orochimaru-sama like?"

Could it be that… Kimimaro hadn't admired Orochimaru from the very beginning?

One additional glace at the boy and I knew that not to be true. No. Kimimaru absolutely adored Orochimaru's very existence. The determination in his eyes, that spark… He wanted to know about Orochimaru so that he could please him…

Oh boy, I wonder what he'll do once Orochimaru "dies" if I actually manage to help in curing him.

"Please come inside Kimimaro-kun and take a seat." I motioned at the empty chair next to me with my hand.

As the white-haired boy sat down, I looked at him, feeling pity for this boy but also endeared by his pure personality.

"Orochimaru-sensei is definitely the best mentor you'll ever find." And wasn't that the truth. He truly was a spectacular teacher.

"He is no pushover, definitely strict in his teachings, but the methods he uses are absolutely spectacular. And he is also very calm in very situation. Never truly loses his temper. At least, he never did with me.

He might be the only teacher I might have had (lie), but I doubt there are any better ones." I said seriously. The sentence might have not been 100% truth, but the praise I had given Orochimaru was definitely the honest part.

"He will not fail to help you, if you are stuck in a problem. He might not give you an outright answer, he will almost never do that no, but he will give you enough information to help you solve that problem yourself. A nudge here and there.

He used to give quite a few of those to me when I first came here. Almostfor every problem I encountered actually, but since than I believe I have improved." I chuckled and Kimimaro had the warmest smile on his face.

"I think, I could have not gotten a better mentor than him. He made me what I am today and brought me so far and he will bring me further. And I am sure he will do the same for you, if not more, Kimimaro-kun" I smiled at the boy.

"I see."

From a smiling face to a serious one, before Kimimaor could utter another word I continued.

"However, he is also cruel. By all means, cruelty is one of his primary charasteristics. A type of cruel I have yet to label as evil or simply misguided to be honest. His ambition drives him to do enough immoral things. But all, for the sake of science, research, further knowledge. And maybe even power?" I frowned, thinking to myself if I really should be telling Kimimaro this. Though, somehow, I had a feeling even if word got to Orochimaru, the creepy snake would simply find it amusing. Probably even agree with me at that.

"He will torture you, hurt you, use you in any way he sees fit. I don't think that Orochimaru-sensei doesn't completely care. However, do not assume that what he is doing is in ANY way for your own wellbeing.

He is a fantastic mentor, but the only reason why he is even bothering with you is because he has use for you. If that use you have runs out then you will be tossed aside like a hot potato.

That is all I can say about him."

My memories of my surgery had faded over the past year thankfully as I chose to ignore them for the most par, but I would never forget the cruelty Orochimaru had dealt me with.

I respected the Pedo Snake, I could not deny that. But he also still terrified me and a part of me also despised the monster that had given me these gifts.

"I appreciate him. I truly am grateful for all that he has done for me. But… I also cannot completely forget the injustice he has once done me"

"I understand." Kimimaro said, a thoughtful look lingering in his face.

"I do have another question."

I waited patiently.

"Why are you here? What made you so special in Orochimaru-sama's eyes?"

Hm… Good question to be honest…

"I guess it is because Orochimaru-sensei saw potential in me. A potential he can use to his advantage. Or maybe I simply charmed him with my lovely personality?" The last part obviously a joke, which actually made Kimimaro crack a smile!

"I truly don't know Kimimaro-kun. Orochimaru's mind works in mysterious ways and I understand only a fraction of what goes on inside his head. I just hope that he won't be tossing me aside any time soon" I laughed at that, but it wasn't as farfetched as it sounded. Orochimaru would do it without warning. He would simply drop me, push my presence somewhere in the far back of his mind and simply forget I even existed… or even end my existence at that.

"Well, I know this might sound out of context however. I wanted to tell you before but was unsure if I should. You have a beautiful voice Aika-san."

Well that came out of nowhere.

A few blinks later, I felt my cheeks heat up. I mean… I knew I had a really nice voice this time around, but to have someone compliment me… that had never happened in this life. It felt… nice to have my voice appreciated. I was all mushy and bubbly inside from that comment.

"Thank you, Kimimaro-kun" This time, the smile placed on my lips was softer than the ones I had given before.

"I am simply stating the truth."

Kimimaro slowly stood from his chair and gave me a slight bow.

"I'm looking forward to our sparring session tomorrow and thank you for your words."

I stood up as well, returning the bow.

"I'm glad I could be of any help. I also cannot wait for the spar to happen!" I said much more enthusiastically.

"Have a good day, Aika-san"

"Bye bye!"

Awwwww, wasn't he adorable! The polite shit though had to stop… or at least he needed to tone it down in my presence.

Though, it's not like Kimimaro was with the same mindset as I, where he wanted to befriend me NO MATTER WHAT.

I sighed.

I needed to be patient.

My eyes landed once again on my desk.

This time the sigh was much heavier as I looked at all the scrolls I had yet to read through.

With a plan in mind and Kimimaro's surprise visit, I sat back to my chair, opening the scrolls, searching for the answers that would make me stronger. However, despite being forced to study, the smile which had bloomed on my would not leave my face for the rest of the day.

Today had truly become a fantastic day and hopefully tomorrow would be just as great!


	9. Shatter

I had not woken up in such a great mood in a really loooooooooooooong while. Yesterday Kimimaro had entered my life and holly hell was I excited about that.

Kimimaro had been a character with very little appearance in the series even though he had such great potential to be so much more. But no, he had to die. Why? First and foremost, Kishimoto you bastard and second, fucking incurable illness taking all the badass awesome characters (cough Itachi cough). I'd be damned if I didn't try my hardest to change that though.

I was already a wildcard in this world's timeline, imagine if Kimimaro actually survived!

He had been hella powerful in Naruto part 1. How OP would he be if he actually survived for the time skip to happen? His kekkei genkai was terrific and that wasn't even completely elaborated. It was a variation of the bone shit Kaguya could do in Shippuden (not that I had watched that particular fight, but the internet had provided me with enough information). I know that he can manipulate his bone structure by sheer will. And it's the kekkei genkai of basically a goddess, there has to be more to it!

Though I guess it being an unbreakable armor is already OP enough…

But those of course were all only speculations. Because, after all, he HAD to go and DIE!

In a way, this was a test to see how much sway I could have over this universe. If I could change something so drastically as preventing the death of a powerful character, then I knew I could change the history of this world.

Maybe I should also stop referring to him as a character. After all, this was my new reality. They weren't just characters anymore. But then again, I can't simply change my mindset just like that. I should still try.

Quickly dressing up in my usual dark green and black outfit, putting my hair up in a ponytail, I ran out into the training field, beyond ready for this fight.

Truly, I was glad to have a fighting partner at last. The only one I had been having sparing sessions with had been Orochimaru and you can imagine how ONE SIDED that was. I basically got my ass handed to me after each "spar".

So, having now an opponent around my age to test my skills on would be fantastic. Though I wondered, was this fight going to be purely taijutsu or would it involve kekkei genkais. I would be in a major disadvantage if so. After all, Kimimaro's was the ultimate defense as well as attack if you asked me. Bone harder than metal, able to grow in an instant? I might not have been as ready for this fight as I'd thought I was.

But then again, maybe it would help me think faster on my toes in order to win.

I never overthought my strategies, knowing I could NEVER beat Orochimaru as I was now. I only focused on small goals, such as landing an injury here and hitting a specific spot there, using a certain ability and having the desired effect and such.

But now. Now I had a real chance of actually winning my first fight!

As my thoughts ran through my brain a shit eating grin spread across my face.

OH, THIS WAS SO EXCITING!

I had not realized I would be this happy to actually get in a spar with a powerful opponent (and hell, was Kimimaro powerful).

As I reached the open field, my eyes immediately zoomed in on Orochimaru, in front of him Kimimaro doing some katas, most likely showing Orochimaru what he would be working with.

Ah, I remember when I was the one showing Orochi-pedo-maru my katas. At that time, I had been pissed beyond reason knowing that the taijutsu I had learned had been completely for naught. But now, I could look back and actually be fond of that particular moment.

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully.

Orochimaru shot me a really weird look.

Honestly, I couldn't truly blame him, I never acted THIS cheerful. Usually I would be greeting the Pedo Snake with a respective and leveled voice, but FUCK THAT KIMIMARO WAS HERE OK!

I… needed to calm the fuck down. This was getting way out of control.

"Good morning Aika-chan." Orochimaru acknowledged me.

"Good morning Aika-san" said Kimimaro in a slight bow.

Ahhhh, so adorably cute!

"Orochimaru-sensei? Were you training Kimimaro earlier this morning?" I asked out of curiosity though I pretty much did know the answer.

"Yes, we started an hour earlier."

I nodded to his answer, slowly making my way to Pedo Snake's side.

"You may start with your warm up routine, shortly after your match will start."

Oh, so he did now.

If it was possible, my smile grew even wider. I bet I was putting the Joker's smile to shame right now. I had NEVER been like this in my previous life. Getting this excited to test my abilities in actual combat… I'd have started shaking if I had been in my former body. Fighting with somebody? Nope, no thank you. I'd probably would have started crying from the sheer weight of emotions. I used to cry when angry you see.

Maybe it had something to do with how a body handled an overflow of emotions. I'd known people who threw up when beyond excited and seeing as this was the body of a ninja I wouldn't be surprised if that would be the case.

As I started warming up, at the same time I focused my eyes on the white-haired boy as Orochimaru pointed out something that didn't look quite right in his technique.

From the little bit that I was seeing, Kimimaro was absolutely stunning in his katas, but it was also painfully obvious that he dependent heavily on his kekkei genkai. The way he moved, as if an extra limb was present at times, it obviously indicated that he would be using a bone in that particular area.

Orochimaru would see to it that Kimimaro would learn to fight without having to use his bones as well. Sometimes, the best way to beat an enemy is by hiding your true skill only releasing it when the opponent least expects it.

After 10 minutes of stretching exercises, I felt flexible enough to start the katas of my own taijutsu style, which required a bit more concentration, therefore cutting my observation on the pair not far from me.

Despite this taijutsu being one I had created myself with the help of Orochimaru, it had yet to become second nature to me. It was only recently that I finally got the fighting style to move fluidly without any hiccups and now I was only revising it each day so that my body instinctively reacted in that style.

Orochimaru had warned me, it would take time. Having learned the previous taijutsu would hinder me from catching onto my new moves faster. It was similar to how I learned Japanese. I knew other languages before it, therefore causing me much more trouble in learning the damn thing. I had often found myself beyond frustrated. But in the end, I had learned how to understand, speak and write it, perfectly so. Hopefully, the same would be with taijutsu

As I finished my last katas, feeling good enough to trust myself that I would not stumble over my feet once I tried to fight in my taijutsu style (honestly, maybe I should find a name for the damn thing, I was tired calling it _my taijutsu style_ all the time), I walked to my creepy sensei, announcing I was done with my warm up.

"Very well." Orochimaru distanced himself from us, looking over me and my opponent with calculating eyes.

"This will be an all-out fight. Everything is allowed to be used, weapons to ninjutsu to kekkei genkais. Match will end if one of you surrenders or is not able to fight any further."

Kimimaro and I looked at each other, expression shifting immediately to a serious one as Orochimaru finished speaking. Simultaneously we jumped away from one another, distancing ourselves. Despite the match having yet to start our senses were already on high alert. I felt giddiness bubble in my stomach, a grin threatening to form on my lips. However, I forced myself to keep a neutral expression.

"Begin." Orochimaru calmly stated.

I immediately took out 3 kunai from the pouch on my thigh, my body forming a defensive stance. Kimimaro did not waste any second to chase me, a bone already in his hand ready to gut me at any given time.

Damn, the boy was fast.

But so was I.

After all, speed and flexibility is what I've been training for.

With a quick jump, Kimimaro's bone failed to hit its target, his eyes however never leaving my form.

Throwing a kunai targeting the arm holding the bone, with a flip I landed on the ground, taking a few quick jumps to further the distance Kimimaro was about to close in once again.

I did not doubt that the white-haired boy would avoid the kunai thrown at him, he simply needed to move slightly to the left. However, the kunai was never meant to hit the boy. Rather it was a simple distraction to keep the distance as well as guide him to where I truly wanted him to be.

Distance was an important factor for me. I was mostly a ranged fighter. I had no ninjutsu yet to level the fight and my taijutsu was good, now that I had one which fit my body typeperfectly, but not good enough to go face to face with Kimimaro. His kekkei genkai would assure his win and my loss if I dared to get cuddly with him.

I already had a vague plan of how to corner him, but it would be difficult and Kimimaro would have to play along so to speak.

I was not 100% sure, but if my memory wasn't completely failing, Kimimaro had not once grown any bones on his face or anywhere around his head in the anime. And he wasn't doing it now either.

I assumed it had something to do that the form of the bones on his face structure simply wasn't meant to grow in such a way, that it could be used as a shield or as a weapon. It would look rather awkward. Most likely it would also take time. So, all I needed to do to win this fight would be to give him a concussion.

At least I hoped so.

But even if he wasn't able to grow any bones around his head, he was very quick to dodge any attacks.

I also had a limited number of items to throw, else I would need to engage in close combat with daggers.

DAGGERS!

It would spell my death, simply a well-timed growing bone and I'd be fish impaled.

As I jumped on a nearby tree, Kimimaro had long recovered from his lost stance at dodging the kunai, not wasting time to once again be up and personal with me.

Not good, I had spent too much time running and thinking. I needed to be more careful.

The remaining two kunai in my hands were already thrown as soon as Kimimaro jumped up the tree I was in, this time however targeting the loose clothing of his sleeves.

Thankfully, the kunai hit the trunk, his sleeve successfully pined on the tree. He tugged a few times trying to get himself free, enough time for me to once again change position, of course not before I drew another 3 kunai to pine his other hand, the other two directed to his face.

To my dismay, Kimimaro moved his hand quickly enough to pull the kunai stubbornly grabbing his other sleeve and ducked just in time to avoid the kunai aimed to his face.

"Aika-chan, this is not a game of tag" I heard Orochimaru say.

Well fuck you too Pedo Snake, I'm trying to think of something OK!

"If only I could shatter bones by sound." I mumbled to myself.

But then again, would I be able to shatter them? They were a different type of bone. According to Kimimaro, harder than metal. And besides, I would need complete silence or a direct way to transfer sound to his body for it to even function.

Another two kunai thrown at the white haired boy to keep the distance, misleading him to the direction I wanted, I hid in the forest close to the training ground, catching my breath and hopefully think of something useful.

I watched Kimimaro look around the area, trying to spot me, though it seemed to me that he had yet to find out my hidden location.

Biting my thumb, I tried to think. I had an entirety of 30 kunai on my body. And I believe I had used up 8 already. Of course, if the chance presented to retrieve them, I would do so. But right now, I had only 22 kunai to work with.

Ugh, if only I also had explosion tags. But I never used those in training and I had not thought of bringing some along with me (not to mention I'd need permission from Orochimaru since he was the one hording them).

Maybe I should stop playing so defensively and try to be the aggressor for once? Of course, distance always being kept.

Well here goes nothing!

Readying eight kunai, four in each of my hands, I went out of my hiding place, jumping from tree to tree in a circular pattern, trying to corner the boy.

Kimimaro lingered in one place, dodging the kunai I threw at him, by either avoiding them or blocking them with the bone he held in his hand.

However, what he did not know was that as long as the Kunai was still midair, there was still the chance of retaliation.

Throwing a kunai completely off target, the boy paid no heed to it as he concentrated on the other eight I was already throwing at him.

And I had finally gotten my first hit. First blood.

Kimimaro was shocked, having certainly not seen it coming. The kunai he had so readily ignored had always had another target in mind. A kunai he had blocked with his bone had sprung in another direction, only for its axis to change when the kunai thrown by me hit it point blank, the former now once again targeting the boy from behind.

It had hit the side of his lower back.

But as victorious as I felt for that hit, I also saw that the wound was not as deep and Kimimaro could easily fight on. He simply needed to let go the momentary pain as well as the shock he found himself in.

However, I would not allow him to regain his senses.

These were the last kunai in my possession. The last five. And I would make the most of them.

One kunai targeted his upper left thigh, hitting point blank.

His eyes caught mine, quickly realizing that he could not stand in one place any loner, lest he get any more wounds.

Already another two kunai were on their way to further injure the boy.

I saw him pull out the kunai from his thigh, throwing it at one of the two weapons targeting his person, the other dodged with a bone fresh out of his body, just for the purpose of defense.

Kimimaro was frustrated. And maybe even angry. I could not truly depict all the emotions the boy was feeling. But I could see that he was done playing.

Two kunai left.

Another thrown.

Another dodged.

I had no more ranged weapons.

The boy quickly closed in on the distance. I had no choice. I needed to draw my daggers and fight him head on. I could no longer run away and keep my distance.

I avoided a bone ready to pierce my skin, jumping high enough for me to do a backflip, placing my daggers right under his neck still midair, ready to slash, only to feel something sharp already piercing my forearms.

Kimimaro had grown bones out of his shoulders, to stop me from slashing his neck, injuring my arms in the process and also disturbing my backflip.

And the wounds would get worse as I tried to back away and land back on my feet. By the time I was on the ground, blood was dripping heavily down my hands as well as daggers the pain was making my grip on the daggers slip!

Once again, I took a few steps back, needed the distance to regain my composure and clam myself from the pain.

This was the first time I got wounded to such a degree. It hurt more than I could comprehend.

But I needed to get a grip. Just like I had not waited for the boy to recover from his initial shock, neither would he give me such a chance.

He was already in front of me ready to slice and dice me.

Honestly, the way we were fighting indicated like we were out for each other's life. Definitely not how a spar should look like, I am sure. But my gut feeling told me to not go easy on him. To fight like my life depended on it. For it certainly felt that way.

I saw the chances of me winning getting slimmer and slimmer. And they had been slim enough from the very beginning, the moment Orochimaru had allowed for his kekkei genkai to be used.

Why would he even allow such a thing? He must know how grossly disadvantaged I was. As if, he wanted me to lose.

Dodge, duck, slash, roll. I was getting more and more wounds while Kimimaro was regaining his ground further and further. As if he had never been wounded.

As we kept going close combat, I focused my hearing on the clashing between blade and bone, desperation already gripping me tight. If I couldn't win, then at least I would have tried everything. And the one thing I had yet to try was shatter his bones. If he had no weapon to use, then I would be the one with the advantage.

_If only I had thought that plan in a more thorough way._

However, the vibrations omitted between blade and bone were difficult to distinguish. I needed to hear only the bones vibration.

A jump back, sheathing one of my daggers back, I tried my best to hold Kimimaro off long enough for the fingers on my free hand to flick the bone he was attack me with, listening to its vibrations as well as diverting the direction of the attack by an inch, enough to make my dodge easier but not unscathed.

With the clear vibrations in mind, my brain already started processing the possible combinations for the bone to shatter. However, that thought took longer than it normally wound have due to the wounds I had gotten, burning and pulsing throughout my entire body as well as due the wounds I continued to get.

Thankfully the wounds were all shallow and not life threatening as far as I could tell. Kimimaro was being careful to immobilize me, but not kill me.

But eventually I did come up with a possible sound chain which could work. And I was aching to test it out.

Seeing as I was getting more and more wounds, the fight obviously closing to an end as I felt my consciousness already getting hazy, Kimimaro getting tired my acrobatic moves dodging many of his attacks (but not all. Never all).

I was now only left to think of a way how to create a closed-up area for the song to take effect.

I could hardly put my mouth on his bone to create the secluded area. Especially since I was unsure my sound attack would even work! It could get my brain pierced!

Maybe I should surrender after all…

This whole fight was so pointless.

How was I ever supposed to have the slightest chance against something as powerful as this?!

But…

I did not want to give up.

I refused to give up!

_If only I had given up._

You know what.

Fuck this, I'm gonna do exactly that, brain be damned.

I was probably going to shatter my teeth in the process as well if I gritted to hard.

With one final dodge, I grabbed the bone still connected to his hand with the space between my fingers, the edges thankfully rounded and therefore avoiding further damage, quickly putting the pierced top into my mouth and biting it down as hard as I could so that he could not simply yank it away or push it further into my body.

Poor Kimimaro had no idea what to make of this, his body completely frozen from such a vulnerable action.

_Why did I not just give up?_

The bone inside my mouth was completely isolated from outside vibration, I did not waste time to put my voice into use.

The chain of notes I had created were not very long, I was able to sing them in under 3 seconds. I only prayed the bone would crack.

…

My ears, had NEVER heard anything THIS lovely.

However, that thought would soon change, for it wasn't just the outside bone that pulverized.

It was like the domino effect, as the top of the bone started to shatter, pieces of it filling my mouth, the rest of the shattering flowed down the entire bone and by the cry of pain from the white-haired boy, the cracking continued throughout his entire body.

I was not even able to react to the disgusting pieces of bones in my mouth as I realized what the hell just had happened.

Orochimaru immediately made his way to Kimimaro, catching the boy as he went limp, first and foremost, protecting his breaking skull.

_It was a mistake._

"Oh god… I… I'm so so s…sorry! Oh god, I… No, please, It was an honest mistake! I wasn't thinking! Orochimaru-sama! Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

"Aika, calm down, he isn't in mortal danger, be thankful that his ability allows him to regrow bone in a matter of seconds."

And true to his words, as fast as I had seen Kimimaro's body grow hollow and jelly like from the shattering of bones, just as soon his body was once again filling.

Coughing out the shattered teeth as new ones quickly grew after, poor Kimimaro looked at me with a pained expression.

"I… d…"- he coughed- "Did not realize y… you had such a d… dangerous ability A… Aika-san"

I wiped the tears that had started flowing from sheer panic. Fuck, his ability might allow him to regrow bone, but the shattering must have been painful.

Gosh, I never thought I'd ever feel THIS horrible after successfully using my sound technique in combat. To feel this defeated when I was the one standing victorious.

My wounds seemed like nothing, now that Kimimaro was the one suffering.

"Had I known…"- I looked at the boy –"I would have pierced you right through your brain." His voice laced with acid.

I shivered.

"I..I'm really sorry K..Kimimaro-kun, I really did not t…think how badly it would go i…if it actually worked. My target was… simply the… the bone you were using as a… a… a weapon…" I tried justifying myself

Kimimaro looked away.

"Well, this spar is over, definitely not how I foresaw it ending. Congratulations Aika-chan, you exceeded my expectations."

And I wasn't feeling one bit good about the praise.

ONE BIT.

I felt horrible. My guts were twisting and come to think of it, I had swallowed the shattered bone inside my mouth out of panic.

"I'm sorry" I whispered one last time as Kimimaro was carried back to the base by Orochimaru.

_It was an honest mistake…_

* * *


	10. Panic

A few hours after the… incident, Kimimaro broke down with a fever. Despite his kekkei genkai having regrown all the broken bones, it seems that it did not know what to do with the excess which had been shattered inside his body, as his bloodlimit was known for growing not repairing bones. And so, in turn, his body while trying to fix this problem caused him to fall ill.

Needless to say, I felt absolutely horrible, sick and broken, even though that was probably a more accurate description of how poor Kimimaro felt. However, I did not stay idle. I was doing everything in my power to ease Kimimaro's pain, despite being wounded myself.

However, my wounds were trivial compared what Kimimaro had to go through. And I was the cause for his current state.

Unfortunately, even Orochimaru did not know how to really help Kimimaro as his body construction was vastly different from that of a normal human, so the only thing he could do was ease the fever and give him medicine to help reduce the pain.

Even though Orochimaru claimed to be sure he was in no mortal peril, his expression said otherwise.

Kimimaro… he looked pitiful. His breath was heavy and it was obvious that he was suffering. Time and time again, pieces of bones would break through his skin, his body trying to rid of the broken shards. It was… a bloody process. I had believed I was completely fine with gore, but the sight of the white-haired boy made my stomach turn and twist like a washing machine. Fortunately, I did not vomit, as it would be embarrassing as well inappropriate to puke right next to a sick person out of disgust… especially when I was the one to cause this state of illness to him.

Gosh, this mistake would follow me for a long time. And he would be a constant reminder of that.

I should have thought out my plan better, HELL I should have simply surrendered. There was nothing to lose, nothing at stake except for my own pride getting a bit damaged.

But no. I had to be crazy and try out an idea ignoring the risks. Not just the risks on my person, but that of my opponent's as well.

Now… Now Kimimaro's friendship was at stake and I seeing as I never had it to begin with, I wondered if I would ever be able to earn it.

I carefully wiped the sweat off of Kimimaro's face and gently put a bag of ice on his forehead. Whatever blood remained on his body I would gently wipe it off together with the broken bone shards, careful not to harm Kimimaro any further with them.

It really wasn't a pretty sight.

I sat the remainder of the day next to the young boy's bed, helping and aiding him in whatever way needed. I had NEVER felt this guilty in my life… in both of my lives. Never did I regret something so much. Ugh, curse my ambition to hell and back.

And whenever there was a quiet moment where my services were not needed, and guilt wasn't eating me away, I would try to sooth his pain by singing.

I remember when I used to be in the hospital in my previous life due to appendicitis, my neighbor who would always visit would sing to me with that powerful and awesome voice of hers and I would immediately feel better.

Maybe it was the musician in me which appreciated this form of art and maybe the effect wouldn't be the same for Kimimaro, but I would sing nonetheless, in hopes that it did indeed lessen the boy's pain.

Kimimaro did not wake up anymore for the remainder of the evening. I was ordered to rest for the night, Orochimaru left no room for arguing. And even though I wanted to protest very much, to be by the boy's side the entire night as well, I knew I could not oppose Orochimaru when he gave an order.

And logically, I knew I needed rest myself. I had lost a lot of blood from the fight. Would have probably fainted if the fight had lasted a few minutes longer. The only thing that had kept me straight was the quick healing one of the medics in Orochimaru's base had given me and the few pills I had taken to take away the stress from my body.

In the end, I went back to my own room, feeling like the lowest scum this world could offer and headed straight to bed, though sleep was far from my mind. But my body would not listen to my wishes of punishing myself further, fatigue taking over and against my will I did fall asleep.

It was by no mean a peaceful night. Nightmares accompanied me, not just from today's incident but also the nightmares I used to have after my… surgery.

But, even though my sleep was a dreadful one, it allowed my body to energize for the next day.

I was shocked to find out that training had been cancelled for the next day when I woke up early. But I was also grateful. The day was spent much like yesterday's afternoon. Keeping an eye on Kimimaro, aiding him, cleaning him up and hopefully making him feel as comfortable as possible, while he fought his sickness.

**(To Love a Song)**

After three days of doing nothing but taking care of Kimimaro (training having been cancelled each time), the boy finally was able to wake up for more than a couple of seconds and actually hold conversations. Unfortunately for him, I was the first thing he saw when he finally came back to the world of the living, his expression darkening at the sight of me.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Against my will I whimpered at the boy's words as well as stuttered like a fool when I gave my answer.

"I… I've b… been trying to h… help nurse you back to h… health…"

God, I sounded pitiful.

"I…I'll go immediately a… and inform O…Orochimaru-s… sama that y… you are a… awake…"

As quickly as the words were said, I stood up from the chair next to Kimimaro's bed and headed to the door. However, before I exited the room I did not leave without apologizing once again to the last member of the Kaguya clan.

"I'm truly sorry Kimimaro-kun! Believe me, it was an honest mistake." barely above a whisper.

**(To Love a Song)**

As Kimimaro got better, I could not say the same for the tension which seemed to have grown thicker between us. The boy would often glare at me, though he tried to school his expression as much as possible when in Orochimaru's presence.

Orochi-pedo-maru, that snake freak however, knew quite well that our relationship was far from peachy. Somehow I had a feeling he found the situation highly amusing. Fucking bastard. Just the way his lips curled into that smirk infuriated me inside.

Did he not understand that I had potentially blown the greatest chance off for me to GET A FRIEND who was actually "my age". I knew Kimimaro was a genius, so I had no doubt his intelligence would keep up with my more "mature" mind. Not to mention I did have my childish moments. We could have been besties!

Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating there. But we could have been team partners, trust each other, have one another's back, joke together, do silly things!

Just simply being… friends.

Fat chance of that happening now, if the poisonous looks kimimaro was throwing me were anything to go by.

Alas, I had no one to blame but myself. Though IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF OROCHIMARU ACTUALLY HELPED MENDING THIS RELATIONSHIP INSTEAD OF FUELING FIRE! Damned Pedo Snake…

You ask why fuel the fire? Because he kept shoving Kimimaro's loss in his freaking face. Kinda like he did constantly about the surgery, knowing I was still traumatized from that.

Hm… I think I'm realizing a pattern there.

STILL NOT HELPING THOUGH!

**(To Love a Song)**

The days progressed and eventually Kimimaro was once again at 100% health. After the excess bone had all been thrown out of his system the healing process sped up immensely and I was no longer required to play nurse (though any type of conversation I tried to start, the boy would quickly turn down). And as if the horrible relationship I had now with Kimimaro wasn't enough, Orochimaru dropped his bomb on me.

"Aika-chan, would you accompany me to my laboratory?" Though formulated as a question, it was obviously an order. Orochimaru wanted me in his laboratory…

Panic immediately seized me. The nightmares I had the last few nights were pretty fresh on my mind. Throughout the months, I had forgotten about the incident. But it did not take much to make the memories rise from the depth of my mind where I had pushed them to. As had been shown with Kimimaro's accident.

It seemed like anything traumatizing which would happen to me would all bunch up and hit me so hard in the face, I could not possibly breath.

I never thought I'd come down with a panic attack EVER in my life, but the way my body refused to inhale enough oxygen despite the fact that I WAS breathing told me how truly TERRIFIED I was of that cursed room. How truly wounded I felt.

No… It wasn't just the room that terrified me. His face as well… Those cold and unfeeling eyes I had been forced to look at my entire operation till I lost consciousness…

"Breath Aika-chan, follow my rhythm, nothing bad is going to happen to you." I hadn't even realized WHEN Orochimaru had made his way by my side.

"We're only doing a checkup, you are safe. You won't be having another procedure.

Breath.

One…

Two…

One…

Two…

Look at me Aika-chan, follow my rhythm."

I hesitantly looked at Orochimaru, his eyes nowhere as cold as that cursed day. He was not going to hurt me.

And so, I did as he instructed, listening to the rhythm of his breathing.

One…

Two…

One…

Two…

And after a few seconds I could feel my lungs fill with enough air, oxygen once again making its way through my veins.

Orochimaru chuckled.

He… chuckled.

"Your fear is well placed Aika-chan. Come child, let's see how you have healed."

I simply nodded, feeling strangely numb.

Once we arrived in his laboratory, I was ordered to sit down on that awful bed thing. As Orochimaru fumbled with his tools, I was left to observe the damned torture room. He had so many bodies hanging around, all having strange markings painted on their body.

 _Fuinjutsu_ I thought.

God forbid I ever end up as one of those poor experiments… What am I talking about I'm already doomed to hell and beyond.

"Now, I would like for you to strip."

For a moment there my thought process completely stopped.

"W…what?"

"You're just a child, modesty should not be a concept for you to worry about yet." Pedo Snake replied.

Well, of course YOU would say that FUCKING PEDOPHILE.

Holly hell, is this the moment where I get raped? Please god, have mercy on this child's body!

As I very VERY reluctantly took of my clothes, Orochimaru started dipping the brush in his hand in black ink.

"C…Can I at l…least keep my u…underwear?" I officially became Hinata. I never STUTTERED this much in my entire MENTAL existence. NEVER!

"No." Was Orochimaru's quick reply.

I wanted to cry.

As the last piece of my clothes dropped on the floor, I was ordered to lay on the bed and Pedo Snake started painting shit on my body.

Well, I guess I could kiss my life goodbye. Obviously, he decided that I was of better use to experiment immortality on me than helping me gain power. I mean, I could understand in a way, I had almost killed his vessel after all.

I tried my best to think of random stuff, adding some humor and bad jokes to my situation just to keep me calm enough and somehow sane! I did not want to fall into another panic attack, especially with Orochimaru performing fuinjutsu on my body. The arts of fuinjutsu were a delicate matter. One wrong stroke and I could end up a frog for all I know.

We stood like that for at least an hour, every inch of my body covered in black ink. Now though… now would come the scary part. Him activating the fuinjutsu.

With quick hand seals, he slammed his hand on my chest (that shit hurt!), the now glowing squiggles written on my body quickly being swallowed into his palm.

Once devoid of any markings, Orochimaru simply smirked (fucking creepy!) and allowed me to wear my clothes again.

I grabbed my clothes so fast, dressing in lighting speed cause, I was sure my face could not hold it out any longer being this beat red. Orochimaru simply looked amused.

Fucking hell, Orochimaru's pedophilia is growing by the year!

"So… what was all this about?"

Orochimaru smiled.

"I performed fuinjutsu on you. The art of sealing. It's very similar to a diagnostic jutsu Aika-chan. However, normal diagnostic jutsu's do not tell the state of the chakra nodes, nor do they say what type of chakra they produce. I had to develop it myself just for you and I am very satisfied with the results. You are officially off your medications."

So, this whole shit was to check if I was healed?

Well, at least the whole torture did not go to waste after all. At least that's something.

I sighed in relief.

I would live a little longer then… No ending up as immortality guinea pig for me.

"We'll be doing intensive chakra training starting from tomorrow on. And also, be prepared for a step up in your training in general Aika-chan. You have impressed me with that performance you did on the spar, but it did not escape me that it was also sheer luck that left you mostly unscathed.

Taking risks is a must in a ninja's life, but too big of a risk might leave you for dead before you get the chance to disable your opponent. And we don't want all that hard work to go to waste now, do we Aika-chan?"

I swallowed hard and simply nodded. At least I could finally begin with chakra training. It was long overdue.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the point of view) after Orochimaru handed me my new schedule (which honestly didn't look much different from my old one except for more meditating and chakra training), he had designed them in such a way so that mine and Kimimaro's training would not interlude with one another.

Meaning I would barely catch sight of the boy. Did Orochimaru want our relationship to be sour or what is he playing at? Maybe he was pissed off after all about the whole fact that I almost killed his vessel?

Whichever it was, I certainly was disappointed. Cause that would have been my only chance to bond with Kimimaro, to apologize enough for him to forgive my… mistake.

Well, since the opportunity to actually make a friend obviously went down the drain, I guess I could concentrate more on training since apperantly it was going to be harder than previously… If Orochimaru was to be believed of course (and you SHOULD believe what Pedo Snake says most of the time)...

As if I'd been doing anything ELSE this entire LIFE! I think this is the punishment I got for procrastinating a whole lot in my previous life. This entire thing SUCKS.

WHYYYYY did I have to be born in SOUUUUUNDDDDD?

It was not the first time I would ask myself that question. My life would have been so much easier if I simply had been born into Konoha. Befriend Naruto, take Sakura's place, get Sasuke to stop being stupid and emo… It would have been PERFECT.

But no. I HAD to be born right next to fucking Orochimaru! Get him to EXPERIMENT on me, making a wonderful test subject and potentially, if anything happens to Kimimaro before Sarutobi takes away his jutsus, I'd most likely end up as his new vessel till Sasuke was ready.

Great.

Simply great.

WHYYYYYY DID I HAVE TO BE BOOOOORN IN SOOOOOUUUUNNDDDDDD?

Unfortunately, I could not change my life now. Unless I wanted to kill myself and risk being reincarnated again but without my memories intact. Yeah, no, not happening. I never was someone to commit suicide anyways. I might not fear death, but I do fear pain. And death can't be anything but painful (I'd know that).

So here I was, in my room, questioning what deity thought it was funny to fuck with me and certainly NOT looking forward to training tomorrow. Cause I had a feeling Orochimaru had something painful prepared for me. Something I hoped would not kill me. Something I hoped would not make me regret allowing myself to get attached to Orochimaru as much as I have.

Cause it always sucks when the people you like stab you in the back. And isn't that a certainty to happen with Pedo Snake…

Yeah. I'm fucked.


	11. Insanity and Pain

Training went as usual… or so I would have liked to say.

It was like the patient teacher that used to train me every single day since I've been living with him (except for the times he went on "business") simply disappeared and got replaced by this cruel and slave driving mad man whose patience was as thin as ice on a summers day.

So basically nonexistent!

I did not understand what had happened to Pedo Snake to turn him into such a sadist (not that he wasn't a sadist before, but he never showed that side of him while teaching me).

Obviously, it had to do something with Kimimaro entering the picture as well as the change of my training regime. But he was so CRUEL!

"Pay attention Aika!" I heard him yelling before getting a fist full in my face, sending my flying across the field.

He even stopped calling me Aika-chan! What the hell was going on? Was this punishment for almost killing his vessel? Had he been going easy on me all along and now he decided, with me all healed up, it's time to toughen it up? This was ridiculous! The bruises and wounds I was getting just this forenoon were so much worse than the ones I'd gotten in an entire YEAR of training!

"CONCENTRATE!"

Fuck, I really needed to stop overthinking or else I'd doubt I'd survive to see tomorrow if things continued like this.

"You'd be dead in a real battle ten times over Aika!" I think I heard bones cracking the moment his kick landed.

I stood up shakily, fed up with being treated like a punching bag, spitting out the blood that had gathered inside my mouth. My ribs hurt so much, my arms and legs felt a million tons heavier than they should, my face was on fire, I simply felt like hell. The pain was almost unbearable!

Did I mention I hate pain?

I.

Fucking.

HATE!

Pain!

But as I saw Orochimaru charging back at me, I knew it was far from over. We were 30 minutes into our training, and usually combat training lasted 2 hours long. I was forced to ignore the misery I was currently feeling, even though all I wanted to do was roll into a ball and cry. I jumped back with all I had, avoiding the kick coming my way, it barely missing my face.

Son of a fucking Bitch!

Gosh, I hated feeling pain SO MUCH!

"Attack!"

I grit my teeth, knowing Orochimaru would probably get worse if I did not do as told. I honestly didn't know which was smarter, let him kick me across the field like a football, knowing full well I ignored his command out of fear (and he would know just as well), meaning the kicks would be vicious or attack him as he told me, and probably still get my ass kicked across the field though there was a 50/50 chance the kicks would remain as they were or get worse.

Honestly, what choice did I have.

Even though my body was screaming to RUN THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT FUCKING MONSTER, I charged with all I had at the snake, double daggers firmly in my hands. I jumped as high as I could, ready to stab his fucking eyes out, only to be swatted away like a fly.

"Too slow!"

Too slow…

TOO SLOW?

What THE FUCK DID HE MEAN BY TOO SLOW YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE! OF COURSE IT WILL BE TOO SLOW FOR YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING MOSNTER!

"STAND UP AIKA!"

I was so FURIOUS. He was asking the IMPOSSIBLE from me, that NUTTER! I grit my teeth so hard, I could have sworn I heard them crack. I forced my body once again in an upright position, looking at my teacher whom I was seriously considering taking away the title he had earned from me.

Right now, he was everything BUT the teacher I'd come to respect. Right now, I was battling against the monster Orochimaru, a battle I was 100% sure to lose. There was NO WAY I could even land a hit on him when he was being this vicious.

My god and I had been so proud to land some measly hits a few months ago when he wasn't even using 1% of his power! Fucking HELL!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I let out a battle cry as I charged back in, giving it my EVERYTHING to get to maximum speed. No. Maximum speed wasn't enough. I needed more. I needed to break my limit and go beyond! But HOW? How the FREAKING HELL was I supposed to break my FREAKING speed limit. I wasn't a freaking CAR where you simply step on a MOTHERFUCKING pedal and you speed the FUCK up.

Once again, a kick threw me back to the other side of the field, Orochimaru looking unimpressed.

Bastard.

How can I gain more speed? How can I take him by surprise? I just want to land ONE good hit. ONE!

And then an idea hit me.

It was such a stupid idea, I only hoped that my head would stay attached to my head after I was done with it (noticing a pattern yet?).

Something that would take Orochimaru by surprise would be speed of sound. Obviously, I hadn't even started proper chakra training and so I wouldn't even attempt to try out a technique I had yet to even DEVELOP. But I remembered that sound jutsu which omitted a blast of sound chakra out of their limbs to catapult them forwards with unbelievable speed.

Once again though, as stated before, I had yet to start with chakra training, so no sound jutsu thingy releasing out of any of my limbs.

But I did know how to blast a good sound wave out of my mouth. I just needed to find a way to concentrate it with chakra. And I guessed (more like hoped) it would be similar to the technique Iused to redirect a sound blast to a certain area.

I looked at Orochimaru, his brow raised, waiting for my next attack. It didn't look like he was going to attack me any time soon. He was simply waiting. Observing what I would do next.

Fucking dick. Cruel, sadistic, crazy old man.

Now, how the hell do I test my crazy idea?

Gosh, I honestly hope I won't lose my head over this (quite literally mind you).

I let out an ultrasound wave out of my mouth, inaudible for Orochimaru to know exactly what I was doing… But then again, this was Orochimaru we were talking about, he always knew one way or another what was going on.

Whatever, he was pretty comfy simply watching me do my thing. He can lay on his ass for all he wants, he still won't be able to see what was coming for him.

I tried to coat it with chakra, as I usually did, throwing the vibrations to the ground.

I felt myself being pushed back, but not extremely so. It was like a blast from a giant stereo. Like a strong wind but not enough to catapult a human body.

That wouldn't do. I needed the blast to be more concentrated.

Hmmm…

What if I made the area of effect much, much smaller?

I put myself in a crouching position, facing the ground, hoping the calculations made with my eyes were right and that the blast would hit the center of my body and get me flying with enough speed to surprise the fuck out of Orochimaru, so that I could punch that smirk off his face.

Creepy bastard.

And without thinking much further, I put my BRILLIANT plan into move. Namely, I concentrated the blast in an area of 1/50 of what I usually would use, the blast hitting the ground and leaving quite the crater before bouncing back and hitting me right in the stomach, flinging my body just the way I wanted it…

I had not thought it completely through… Such as the fact that such a concentrated blast on my stomach WHICH WOULD LEAVE A FUCKING CRATER ON THE GROUND would hurt like a MOTHERFUCKING BITCH, OH MY GOD IT WAS SO PAINFUL, WHAT WAS I THINKING! IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE THAN OROCHIMARU'S KICKS, MOTHERFUCKING HELL!

And also, the fact that FUCKING HELL THIS IS TOO FAST I CAN'T CONTROL MY BODY IN TIME TO ACTUALLY LAUNCH AN ATTACK.

So basically, I ended up flying across the field like with one of Orochimaru's kicks, only in a much faster pace.

Honestly… what was I thinking?

Obviously, I wasn't thinking at all (definitely a pattern).

Well, to be fair Orochimaru was caught off guard if the position we found ourselves lying in was anything to go by…

I had kinda landed with my back on top of Orochimaru and by the throbbing pain in my skull, I think I also headbutted him.

Ugh… that kinda counted as a hit, right?

Fuck, I think I was going to hurl over.

"First you break all the bones inside a boy's body and now you fling yourself across the field like a cannon ball… Aika-chan, I don't know if I should be amazed or terrified by your thought process and how you come up with such ridiculous ideas. You obviously think only of the positive effects and completely ignore the risks…" I heard Orochimaru say underneath my head. I would have been embarrassed and completely mortified with the position we were in, if I wasn't so concentrated on keeping the contents of my stomach from coming out of my mouth.

However, as Orochimaru moved and basically pushed me off of him, my stomach gave a final twist before the breakfast I had eaten a couple of hours ago came rushing out of my mouth.

I was in miserable pain and my throat was now also burning with an acidic after taste.

Great.

Fucking.

Great.

"I believe combat training is over for today…" Orochimaru sounded unimpressed. The only thing I could do to respond to that was glare at Pedo Snake and hope that I somehow inherited Amaterasu so that he could fucking catch fire and burn to his eternal DEATH.

After a few minutes of just sitting on the ground, my back lying on a tree trunk, waiting for my stomach pains to ease and also hoping that I was completely done vomiting, Orochimaru finally came close to me, handing me a wet towel. I was still mad at Pedo Snake of course, so I yanked the towel out of his grasp, his only response a raised brow.

Fucking sadist.

It was all his fault!

EVERYTHING!

Even fucking Kimimaro was his fault.

NONE OF THIS WAS ON MY HANDS!

Ok, I should stop telling lies to myself. This isn't healthy.

BUT I WAS SO ANGRY!

I wiped my face clean, as well as my arms from which I had wiped the vomit off my mouth and handed it back to Orochimaru, hoping the towel was filthy enough that it would dirty his pale ass hands.

A few more minutes later, deeming myself safe enough to speak, I finally opened my mouth.

"The fuck was with training today!?" Well… I sounded a bit more hostile than I had intended to.

Orochimaru chuckled. He fucking chuckled! I'M ANGRY DAMNIT, DON'T FUCKING CHUCKLE!

"Didn't like it much I see. Well you better get used to it, Aika-chan. I've decided you need a little more pushing."

"A little more pushing? You call this a LITTLE more pushing?"

"Your progress since I took you in has been good."

It was my turn to raise a brow.

"But not good enough."

Not… good enough…

What the HELL was good enough for fucking OROCHIMARU HM? WHAT? HIS STANDARTS WERE ASTRONOMICAL, FREAKING BITCH!

"Your fight with Kimimaro… By all means you should have lost one way or another. I could see no turn of events which would lead to your victory.

You had absolutely nothing to get the upper hand. You just started incorporation taijutsu propely in your fights, kunai were limited to you, ninjutsu isn't even an option and all your sound research is for naught without the proper chakra technique which you have yet to learn.

The only thing going for you was speed and even there, you both were almost up to par.

Kimimaro's strength is far superior to yours, and his kekkei genkai makes him almost unapproachable as it truly is the ultimate defense as well as offense. He also has more experience in combat than you, having participated in plenty of battles.

He is still flawed of course. He was never properly taught to fight. There were many mistakes he did which allowed you to get a few lucky shots.

But almost every aspect he was your superior. The only reason why he only accepted your challenge for a spar in the first place was out of respect, not because he thought you would pose a challenge for him."

Honestly, all those things were aspects I had analyzed thoroughly after the fight and came to terms with. Kimimaro should have been the winner by all means. Still, I couldn't help but feel irritated.

Not only had Orochimaru thought the match was already lost before it even began, but Kimimaro had been arrogant enough to assume the same without knowing all of my abilities. He had already seen his victory and my loss. An inevitable truth.

"And then, you were pushed up a corner and you felt like you needed to prove yourself." Orochimaru's eyes seemed to have taken a glint.

"The only reason that crazy idea of yours worked at all, was because Kimimaro hesitated. He was taken by surprise by such a vulnerable position you had taken. And he had also been careful to not hurt you too much. He had no wish to accidentally kill you which could not be said for you Aika-chan. For that, he had to pay dearly." Once again, I heard Orochimaru chuckle, but this one had a much darker tone to it. I felt shivers running down my spine as well as swallowed down a whimper trying to escape, guilt once again sinking its claws into my skin.

"You hate losing, don't you Aika-chan?" I looked at Orochimaru for a few seconds, before slowly nodding.

Who didn't?

I also finally took note that he was back to calling me Aika-chan.

"That's a dangerous trait to have. Both for the enemy as well as for yourself."

"So… today's training was all so that you could push me to the point of me coming up with crazy ideas?"

And oh, how Orochimaru laughed at that. I could not see the humor in that sentence, but apparently Orochimaru found it hilarious.

"The goal is for you to break your limits. To give it your all. I want progress Aika-chan. Much, much faster progress than before. And I know you can handle it.

Up until now I went easy on you because I did not have a certain goal for you. You were a test subject so to speak. I had a few ideas where to direct you, but initially you had no real purpose to my goals.

A pastime activity.

An investment with possible outcomes.

A true master in Sound Release jutsu.

A leader for the sound nin to follow.

A role model.

An example they could aspire to become."

I could hear my heart beating loud in my ears.

"You mean to tell me you had no direction for me and so didn't take my training seriously? That I was a disposable tool?" I asked in disbelief.

Orochimaru did not reply. He simply looked at me, his trademark smirk placed on his face.

It hurt.

It honestly fucking hurt.

Worse than the wounds he had inflicted on me on today's training. It hurt so fucking BAD to know that I had been just this past time activity for him.

At some degree I had known. For what reason could the great Orochimaru take interest in a random Otogakure baby girl, daughter to some unnotable ninjas, only thing making her special, her exceptional intelligence. And probably also her weird reactions to the man.

But still. To the plot, I was utterly irrelevant.

"Did you even plan on continuing training me personally after you took Kimimaro in your care?"

Cause why would he waste time on a past time activity, an experiment which could easily train by itself only needing a few guide points here and there. An experiment whose usage did not involve his plans? Had I been on the same scale as those faceless ninjas that lived in Orochimaru's bases? Good enough for his attention, but not good enough for him to care how they actually turned out?

Oh god, I couldn't believe the way I was feeling. I wanted to be part of Orochimaru's plans? What the hell was I thinking? Getting involved in Orochimaru's plans basically spelled your demise! What the HELL was I thinking?

But I wanted to be important. I wanted him to train me, too look at my progress, to praise me, to show him that he had made all the right decisions to look after me, make me stronger! I wanted him to depend on me, to trust me… Oh god, I wanted to have the same place as Kabuto would have by Orochimaru's side? I wanted to be his second hand?

The fuck was wrong with me?

When had I become so attached to this man, to the point of not caring to be used by him? What happened to freedom and power? It has only been 7 years for fucks sake, only one of those years where he became a constant presence in my life. Was this all it took to get attached to a monster? HE OPERATED ON ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT DAMNIT! WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME WHAT HE WANTED TO DO!

I would have said yes… if he had simply asked.

It would have been the same! No, even better, for I would not have had any reason to hate ANY part of this man.

At least, it would have given me the illusion that he cared.

But that was obviously not the case.

And yet, he gave me powers I could never have had. He gave me so much potential!

BUT THE PAIN.

Everything worth for the power and knowledge I gained. He taught me, helped me.

IT WAS A LIE!

But aren't I lying as well…

Fuck…

"I did not." Came Orochimaru's reply.

I simply looked at Orochimaru, having already known the answer.

You know, the one thing I was most grateful about this new body I had gained was how it reacted to me being emotional. In my previous life, I'd had been crying my eyes out in a situation similar to this… but here, I was able to hold my tears at bay, my eyes completely dry.

"And now that I have seemed to prove my usefulness to you, mind you completely unintentional Orochimaru-sama, what are your plans for me now?"

Creepy-chimaru chuckled. Again.

"Tell me Aika-chan… What do you desire the most?" Countering my question with a question? Seriously? I was having a mental break down right now, AND THE ONE QUESTION I ASK YOU FUCKING COUNTER?

But as I thought of my answer, I did not know what to say. I could not say I desired freedom anymore, seeing as my brain apparently was completely and entirely content with being Orochimaru's slave for eternity. And yes, I did desire power, but it was not the one thing I wanted the most. Power was just a tool to give me more control over life.

Did I want a family?

Well, if I did want one, I certainly didn't want a normal one.

Did I desire friends?

No, not really. Sure, it would be nice to have a friend, but I could do without much like I did in my previous one.

What did I want?

"I don't know…"

"You truly are unique child. Come now, you have rested enough. It is time you start with meditation before we carry on with chakra control and exercises."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." I replied numbly, ignoring the physical pain as I stood up to follow.

Gosh, this day turned out to be physically, mentally as well as emotionally draining. And it had only just begun!

(To Love a Song)

As I finished meditating, Kimimaro came to the training ground to start his warmup routine as well as combat training with Orochimaru. I honestly wondered how Orochimaru was going to handle the both of us at once. But apparently everything fit nicely.

While I was training with chakra, Orochimaru simply giving me exercises to fulfill by myself (since he obviously could not do much to help me channel my own freaking chakra), Kimimaro would do his combat training, similar to mine (though he probably wouldn't get beat up nearly as bad as I would) where he rehearsed his katas and sparred with Orochimaru (thus having most of Orochimaru's attention.)

I had already learned how to do the tree walking exercise as well as water walking exercise for quite a while now. So Orochimaru gave me something I hadn't even considered ever learning.

Three E-rank jutsus.

The basic jutsus you actually learn at the academy! The Body Replacement jutsu, clone jutsu as well as the transformation jutsu. How could I have forgotten about those! They were so underrated I swear!

The jutsus were by all means E-rank, but they were harder to perform than I had imagined. I had expected to learn them all in the same day. But that certainly was not the case. By the time Orochmaru called quits for the day for me, it already being high noon, I had barely managed to learn how to do the transformation jutsu.

The tricky part of the jutsu for me, had been channeling my chakra in the form of hand seals. I had imitated the hand seals perfectly, even uttered the jutsu aloud just like in the anime version in hopes that it would make a difference (I felt like a fool honestly), but it had absolutely no effect. And the reason was a very logical one which I should have realized waaaay earlier.

A jutsu wasn't just simply doing hand seals and viola, done. I was called ninjutsu for a reason after all. It needed the usage of chakra. I assumed the hand seals would do all the job for me. Nope, you had to twist and spin your chakra just right and in time with the hand seals you made in order for the jutsu to take effect. Any mistakes would lead to failure or worse. Deformities.

With the transformation jutsu, you also had to have a clear picture in mind of the person you wanted to transform into. So, imagining as many details as possible were a massive plus.

By the end of the lesson, I had finally managed to make a perfect replica of the way I had looked in my former life. And gosh, it had been so long since I had seen that face and that body on myself. It had been strange. Nostalgic in a sense. Looking at the world with the height I used to have in my former life, with my brown boring eyes, acne filled face as well as my former voice.

The outfit had been modified to look more Narutoverse like (can't be suspicious after all, Pedo-chimaru was watching). I looked at my dark brown, almost black hair, remembering how much I had loved the color. Refusing to ever color it. I looked at my hands, which were long and thin, always thinking how good I would have been with the piano had I been allowed to play it.

I cancelled the transformation, my emotions already going haywire.

I had been sure, after 7 years of spending in this world, of creating a new persona, I was well and beyond my old memories. My old self. But having seen myself back to how I had once been… It was the form of an unfulfilled human. A human full of regrets and sadness.

Today certainly was extremely emotionally draining. So concetraited in my training… in memories, I had completely ignored Kimimaro entirely. Not that he had wanted to make any conversation with me or even looked my way (not that I was sure) but… it would have been nice if we exchanged ANY type of words with one another really…

The rest of the day continued pretty uneventful. Since morning training I did not see Kimimaro for the remainder of the afternoon as well as evening (and our rooms were next to each other so yeah…).

I ate lunch alone, went back to the library where Orochimaru joined me in my self-study/discussion hour. And now that my chakra coils were completely healed, and produced the required chakra nature, we discussed much more intently which jutsus I was going to try to master first and make a priority to use in combat. We also questioned what I was going to do with the songs which required a silent environment to work, but no idea came for that. In the end, it was simply decided to concentrate on the already available jutsu, master them and then go to creating my own jutsu.

Orochimaru even notified me of when his next leave would be, which would be less than in a months' time and also that in his absence my training regime would once again change, as Orochimaru was pretty intent to keep the method of training he started today and seeing as he would be absent from that, I apparently needed another person to woop my ass into oblivion.

Who that person might be, was of course to remain a secret, because it seemed like Orochimaru was actually a troll at heart and loved to mess with people's mind.

And after those wonderful hours with Orochimaru (note sarcasm) were also over, I was left with free time, which was horrible because my mind kept going back to the conversation I had with Orochimaru this morning. Or to be more specific, the revelation I had about how I felt about Orochimaru's presence in my life and that Sasuke killing him was no longer an option.

Another thought plaguing my mind was Kimimaro and his unavoidable demise. The sickness which had no cure. Were there any records about Kimimaro's body structure. I mean, there has to be some type of information of how the Kaguya clan's kekkei genkai worked and what effects it had on the body no?

My initial plan had been to make a body image out of vibrations, visualizing his body structure through sound, but after the incident with… you know, would he even allow me to do as much? Orochimaru could of course force him to, but I'd doubt it Orochimaru would do so unless Kimimaro came down with his illness and I don't know if by then it would be too late.

And of course there was also the tiny matter that even if I visualized his body structure after he fell ill, how would I know what was wrong with his body, seeing as I would have not seen his body structure in a healthy state. I would never know what was wrong.

Ugh.

This was giving me a headache.

Honestly, I was beginning to doubt if I could make such a big change as to rescue that ungrateful twat! Not that he was ungrateful, I mean I did break his bones, but I also apologized! He could let it go, it was an accident!

Honestly, with me getting attached to Orochimaru, not knowing how to feel about the situation I was in, now that apparently I was more than just an experiment to him as well as the stress building up with Kimimaro's slow but sure demise and the fact that I could be the deciding factor to his survival, which could initially all go for naught seeing as Orochimaru wanted his body anyways and I could in NO WAY allow Sasuke near Pedo Snake because fuck Sharingan so there was no replacement for Orochimaru's vessel… I believe it was high time that I cried.

And cry I did and oh it felt so good to simply let it all out.

My body felt like shit, my mind felt like shit, my emotions were shit and I was so fucked up but it was ok. Because I was never normal to begin with and being normal is boring anyways. In a world where children are turned into murderers, sent out on the field with minimum training simply because they had passed school and earned a headband… Honestly, maybe having been born right next Orochimaru's door wasn't so bad…

Ugh, what was I talking about, of course it was bad, but this was my life now and in a way, I had accepted it. More than accepted it, I mean getting attached to Orochimaru? Hello? Only crazy people would ever form an emotional attachment to that crazy man. And hopefully with time Kimimaro would forgive me and warm up to me eventually. You can't hold a grudge forever, right?

Right…

I seriously needed a friend to discuss my emotional frustration with, honestly.

I sighed, reflecting upon this life.

Such a weird and bizarre life.

Such a painful and terrifying life.

Such an exciting and interesting life.

If anyone would ask me if I ever regretted wishing I to be born into an anime, my answer would be a definite no.

Even though I lived through hell, experienced excruciating pain and would most likely experience worse in the future (which absolutely left me scared shitless), I so did not regret that wish, because having it fulfilled was the best thing that could have ever happened to my existence.

Because, even if I was feeling sad now, had a few dark moments here and there, the highlights this life brought me far outweighed the pain.

After all, what better world to be born for an insane person than a world which was insane itself.


	12. Healing

It was the last day of training with Orochimaru and just as each one of this last month's days I was left nearly crippled. No, maybe today had been even worse? Orochimaru was forced to carry me to the medic's room (one which I've started to become very familiar with) in order for Momoko to patch be up. Again.

Momoko was one of the healers Orochimaru kept around. She wasn't the only one, but she seemed to be Orochimaru's favorite. Well, favorite regarding my health.

She was a very short woman, blond hair, brown eyes. And, to be honest, she wasn't that pretty either. What bothered be the most on Momoko's appearance was her crooked nose. If not for that nose, the rest of her features wouldn't be so bad. She would look normal. But yeah. The nose definitely did her in.

Despite her outer appearance however, she was a very kind woman. And her voice was also smooth and soothing, just like I'd imagine the voice of a healer to be.

"She's got a dislocated shoulder and the left leg is sprained, a few of her fingers are broken and of course, the usual bruises." Orochimaru explained to the nurse.

Ah.

Yes.

The usual bruises.

Did I mention my face was so swollen that I was unable to talk due to sheer pain?

Yup, today had definitely been worse.

I honestly had no idea what was going on in the head of that pedophile. Did he want to train me or break me?

And the worst thing about all this, it was THE LAST DAY OF TRAINING! You'd think he'd be going easier on me, as a way of saying farewell, cya in a couple of weeks yada yada. But noooooo. Instead, he decided to beat the living shit out of me as a memento.

Fucking Pedo Snake.

And he wondered why I was angry?

Seriously?

Momoko simply took a look at me as Orochimaru laid me on the bed (NOT gently if I might add) and if the horrified gasp was anything to go by, I was in a pretty bad shape even for her standards. And she had seen me in pretty bad shape beforehand.

"O… Orochimaru-sama! What did you do to the poor child!" AND THE MAN HAD THE AUDICITY TO SHRUG!

The Oto-medic immediately put her magical hands to work (and oh my god, did I love those green glowing hands) as she quickly fixed the bigger bruises (such as my swollen face, bless the Lord) before putting my dislocated shoulder back into place (FUCK!) and healing the broken fingers and the sprained ankle.

The relief I felt as her chakra healed my broken EVERYTHING was just so… Unf! That's what heaven must feel like… if such a thing existed of course and due to my experience, such a thing certainly does not exist. Still, I could imagine, right?

The room remained silent as the medic worked her miracles on me, Orochimaru looking extremely bored.

He was so fucking rude, for fucks sake. Can he at least PRETEND that he regrets beating me to this extend? I mean, I know you've got shit to do, but please, I'm on the verge of DYING (not really, but still… I was not in the best shape).

What am I talking about?

Of fucking course he wouldn't pretend to care, this is Orochimaru after all. I'd find it weird anyways. Suspicious even. Whatever. I don't need his regrets or pity or anything.

Why did I want this man to care and approve of me again? Why did _I_ care?

I sighed.

"I would advise for Aika-chan to rest the following day. The injuries she suffered today were much more severe than her usual bruises and cuts." She announced once everything was off risk so to speak.

I looked at Orochimaru, seeing if the man would agree or if he would decide to torture me further (even if he would not be present the next day to do the torturing himself). Cause that's what this whole thing was. Not training. Torture.

Sadomasochistic creepy pedophili-

"She wasn't supposed to train tomorrow either way. So, she can rest." My thoughts were cut in half.

"Don't worry Aika-chan. You'll be as good as new once you've rested!"

Ah, Momoko, bless your soul. How can you work for this creepy man is beyond me with such a kind heart!

"Thank you, Momoko-san. Where would I be without you?"

"With another medic repeating the same process." Came Orochimaru's deadpan reply.

I glared.

"Why, thank you, oh obvious one, no need to take everything so literally" I mumbled to myself in sarcasm, though Creepy Snake there obviously heard if that fucking smirk was anything to go by.

"Seeing as my pupil has gotten her sass back," – _Amaterasu!_ – "I'll be taking my leave. I do have another child to teach today" Oh, wow, he was actually going to send Kimimaro to the nurse's office? Isn't he like, his golden boy or something? His precious child – ok I better stop this, I'm feeding his pedophilia in my mind.

But still, as far as I was aware, Kimimaro had yet to pay a visit here.

I heard the door click as Orochimaru disappeared behind the door.

After a few moments of silence, I turned my attention to the blond woman as she worked on cleaning her tools.

"Umm… Momoko-san?"

"Yes?" The petite woman turned her attention back to me as she bid Orochimaru goodbye.

"Has Kimimaro-kun even been here for healing?"

Momoko blinked.

"Yes of course. Not as often as you, but he certainly has."

He has? I haven't seen a single bruise on him and I see him at least once a day!

Momoko chuckled, obviously finding my stunned face funny.

"His kekkei genkai gives him more defense against Orochimaru-sama's kicks but it does not make him immune. Orochimaru-sama is, after all, a very powerful shinobi and when he does want to cause injury, then he will do so, even if you have the best defense in the world." She elaborated nicely.

"You truly think Orochimaru-sama is that powerful?"

"Of course!" She replies enthusiastically.

Wow… The blind faith this woman had for Pedo quite misplaced of course, but I could see the adoration she had for that man in her eyes. They practically sparkled!

"Well, I think I'm gonna head back to my room then Momoko-san. Thank you for the heals!" I said, feeling too awkward in her presence.

"Would you like me to give you some crutches? Your ankle is still very sensitive. You need to be careful with it." She told me as she watched me get out of bed.

"Nah, don't worry. I'll manage." I made my way to the door, careful not to put too much ressure on the freshly healed ankle, giving a slight bow to the blond woman before heading out.

"Don't forget to check here again tomorrow!" I heard her yell through the now closed door.

"Yeah, yeah!" I yelled back.

Technically I should have been in the middle of meditating and chakra training now, but the injuries had kinda ruined that for me.

Honestly, I really wanted to go watch Orochimaru beat the crap out of Kimimaro, just to make myself feel better for the beating I took today. But I decided otherwise. I should be resting right now, letting my body heal from the trauma rather than push it further for something as silly as feeling petty for oneself. And if Orochimaru saw me back on the training field, who knew what kinds of other torture he would put me through.

He was a crafty man.

I should be above that anyways. I was a 27-year-old woman for fucks sake, I should not even think about watching little boys getting beaten...

Reaching my room, I did not hesitate to lie down on my bed, sleep quickly taking over. It was such a rare occurrence that training would be cut short (I mean, I had to be beaten up beyond reason for that to happen), a nap was exactly what I needed.

By the time I would wake up, Orochimaru would have already departed.

**(To Love a Song)**

( **A/N:** I wrote this scene with this song in mind, so if you would like, you can read this while also listening to "Nier Automata: Song of Ancients (Popola Ver.))

The day after Orochimaru had gone to do… whatever a pedophile like him does (kidnap more children most likely) was spent relaxing, singing and meditating.

One thing I really had to give Orochimaru. He really knew the perfect locations to build bases. I mean, the scenery is fantastic! The training field is surrounded by forest, only a narrow path leading from it to the actual building and nearby was even a pond! It was Obvious how I would be spending my free day.

Relaxing while enjoying mother nature, no questions asked. The pond looked especially beautiful when the sun was high enough for its rays to peak though the trees. Then the water's surface would sparkle and twinkle like a jewel. Stunning.

It was truly breathtaking. Like balm to my soul.

I took a deep breath, the fresh air cleansing my lungs.

You know.

I really appreciated this world for exactly this. The boring reality I used to live in was filled with so much artificial matter, a sight like this was basically sacred to find. And when found, humanity would destroy it, because buildings were more important than saving the only pure left in the world. It was more important for humans to reproduce in vast numbers rather than save the earth from man's inventions.

And you know what else was stunning in a place like this?

The sounds it made.

Nature had such a… beautiful melody. Hundreds and hundreds of notes all coming together to form the most wonderful song I had ever listened to. The sound of the animals inhabiting this forest, the insects, the trees and the gentle push and pull from the water of the pond… It was magical truly.

The breeze of the wind however… it's what gave this melody its lyrics. Like a whisper of words. Lyrics in a foreign language. Strange, mysterious, and above all these, magical.

Chakra hearing was a blessing bestowed upon me. Even if that blessing had appeared to be more of a curse as it was forced upon me. To allow me to hear such stunning melody…

I hummed along with the forest, feeling the most peaceful I'd ever been.

I could no longer imagine a world where I was deaf to the songs of nature, of my surroundings. I could only think of the ugly tunes a city would make.

No.

I should not ruin the beautiful tunes of mother nature by imagining such atrocity. It would break the peace I had found.

And so, the day went on, forenoon and afternoon spent relaxing and listening to the magical tunes of the forest surrounding me.

**(To Love a Song)**

The next morning, I was at the training field at the usual hours I would train with Orochimaru.

I had expected for the coming month to go by much like the ones when he had been gone the first time. Training alone and doing my best to simulate an actual spar with a dummy… which obviously wasn't very helpful, but at that time it had given me the chance to perfect the katas of my taijutsu before trying them out with Orochimaru.

Not that perfecting it in any way had helped me in ANY way regarding Pedo Snake. I had still not been used to it 100%. Still working on my reflexes, let my body simply flow into the stances rather than force them.

After 1 month, however, with Pedo Snake beating the bloody crap out of me, my body had developed a type of defense mechanism in order to ward off further trauma. Now, whenever I saw a kick coming, I'd be in a defensive form before I even had to think of using it.

As they say, pain is the best teacher. Or something along those lines… I wish though he wouldn't have had to resort to such measures. I liked it better when he was patient sensei, rather than sadistic.

But yeah, I expected that boring shit again. Not to see Kimimaro already doing his warmups.

I of course, simply stared in surprise.

"Morning Aika-san" his boyish voice broke me out of my… stunned state.

"Morning… Kimimaro-kun…" I replied, the shock apparent in my face as well as my voice.

A feint blush started creeping Kimimaro's cheeks.

"Orochimaru-sama said we should… train together while he was gone…" He explained himself.

"Right… right, because he never EVER tells ME anything of course."

He simply looked at me strangely.

"Right… so are you done with warmups?" This conversation sounded extremely awkward and forced.

"Not yet, it's not long that I started."

"Okay… I'll be starting with mine as well…"

He simply nodded and continued to do what appeared to be stretches.

My warmup would usually last 15 to 30 minutes depending on my mood. I would start with stretches and then lapses to get my body ready for the torture sess- ahem, I mean training with Orochimaru. Sometimes I would skip the lapses alltogether. And I think this was one of those cases.

As Kimimaro finished, I also tried to do my last stretching exercises as fast as I could so that I wouldn't keep the boy waiting for too long.

For some reason, I felt mortified to let him wait for too long.

Gosh, the way he stared was really unnerving. He was so obviously, so not over the fact that I broke his bones.

I AM SORRY OK!

How many times must I apologize…

Maybe I should actually say those words aloud, rather than just think them.

"I am done" I said awkwardly. He once again nodded.

We stood there for several minutes, neither of us willing to say the inevitable first.

Orochimaru had had, after all, a pretty good reason why he wanted us to train together.

And that was sparring.

And you know how well THAT went the last time…

Kimimaro sighed which brought my wandering and panicking thoughts to a halt as I focused on the boy.

"We both do not want to do this," – um, no, I very much want to be your friend – "but Orochimaru-sama told us we should train together, and _this_ isn't training."

"Do not misunderstand me Kimimaro-kun, I would really like to spar with you again." – He looked really pissed at my statement.

"I have apologized and will apologize as many times as necessary for my mistake and the… unnecessary pain I've caused you." – Kimimaro scoffed – "The attack I used on you was one I had not thought through… I wanted to simply break the bone you used as a weapon… not your entire skeleton…"

But my words only seemed to make him angrier, rather than the opposite.

"It does not matter if you wanted it to happen or not. It happened, there is nothing we can change."

"But it DOES matter." I insisted, desperate for his forgivness.

"I would never want to hurt you! When Orochimaru-sama first introduced you, I was so happy to have a person my age, someone I could have fun with, spar with and maybe even be friends!"

The boy blinked, stunned by my words.

Gosh, this was getting SO embarrassing. Made me feel unbelievably vulnerable.

I didn't like this.

But it had to be said.

"I am still not entirely sure how my powers work… I was not born with them like you were! They were given to me not long ago by Orochimaru-sama and I am still figuring them out. I tried an idea out on you which I should not have! It was an honest mistake, believe me…"

Kimimaro looked unsure. Not knowing what to say.

His expression straightened not long after that, emotions completely devoid from his face.

"Taijutsu only." Were his words.

At first, I did not understand what he meant, though that quickly changed.

He had completely disregarded my words and initiated we start training instead of talking about… that.

I sighed in defeat, my body forming my stances as I once again was sparring Kimimaro. But this time, in a much more leveled playing field.

**(To Love a Song)**

" _Sound Release: Blast Wave!"_ – I shouted as I released a blast wave of sound from my mouth, sending Kimimaro flying across the field, the boy going through multiple backflips in order to land back on his feet and somehow sooth his landing.

But I was not going to allow him to find his ground. Throwing a kunai in his direction, forcing him to back step further, once again doing hand seals as quickly as I could I shouted.

" _Encore!_ " Another blast wave ripped off of my mouth, Kimimaro now slammed on a tree trunk as we had reached the edge of the clearing.

The tree looked ready to break, but still held to its roots.

And just like the tree, Kimimaro would not deter. Bones had quickly grown out of his back, piercing the tree trunk and softening his crash and the pain he should have initially been feeling.

I was unaware of that fact, already making my way as fast as I could to the white-haired boy, daggers ready to slash his throat so long as he was still blinded by the pain I thought he was in.

However, the moment I was in his reach, bones shot out of his ribcage, trapping me as they surrounded my form, a bone placed on the side of my throat, indicating check mate.

"I win." He stated calmly.

"Wha… How?!"

As I was released, I watched him retract the bones from the tree, answering my question.

I sighed in defeat.

"That makes… 23 wins for you and 3 for me?"

He smirked.

Ugh, when did the shy and polite boy from a few weeks ago become so… SO… UGH!

That confident smirk of his really grated on my nerves! I was NOT a good loser and each loss I would get fighting against this LITTLE SHIT right there did NOT make it any easier either.

"Guess you'll be cleaning up the field then. Again."

Ughhhhhhhhhh…

But hey… at least we were kinda semi-friendly with one another…

"You aren't gonna help poor little me?" I pouted, trying my best to replicate puppy dog eyes.

He laughed and then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, you're alone on this Aika-san."

I sighed in defeat.

Again.

Orochimaru was gone for an indefinite amount of time once again, leaving Kimimaro and I to organize out training regime as we pleased as well as the conditions. When we had been training with Pedo Snake one on one, after each session it would be us cleaning up the mess left behind (alone of course), as Orochimaru himself would go on with his business.

And we both knew what a boring, tedious and horrible process that was. Gathering each kunai scattered, whatever other weapon had been thrown, fixing the dummies, cleaning up any fallen trees and so one.

After we had been left to our own devices, neither of us wanted to do that tedious job. And Kimimaro especially did not want to do it together with me at that , as a motivation for our sparring sessions, we used cleaning up as punishment for the loser.

That loser, unfortunately, being most of the time me.

The three times I had managed to win was because each time, I had used a skill Kimimaro had never seen in battle before, never truly learned how to dodge, catching him off guard.

But yeah… usually I'd be the loser. And sometimes he would take pity on me and help me clean up. But only sometimes. He still was a little shit.

As I watched Kimimaro return to base, I simply looked around, watching the mess we had made, making me sigh even louder.

So tedious.

Kimimaro's and I's relationship had changed over the last few weeks. He had been very cold and passive aggressive in the beginning (horrible times). Always ignoring any attempt I made to try and be friendly, ask for forgiveness… Just try to mend things. And eventually he had calmed.

Not because of anything I said mind you. He never paid attention to those.

At least I think so…

He simply just… turned up one morning dropping his "not approachable for you" façade and we were quite… friendly with one another.

It was the first time he also helped me clean up the training field.

At first, I thought… he might want something from me. At some point, I even though he wanted to simply eliminate me by lulling me into a false sense of security. But as time progressed and his friendly demeanor remained, I came to believe that he was genuine after all.

I wanted to ask of course. To ask why the change in character.

But in end, decided otherwise, not wanting to push my luck.

We weren't friends per se. But… slowly… very slowly, but surely it was going there.

Unless of course, I made some stupid mistake again which would make him hate me again.

Swallowed by my thoughts and humming random tunes as I cleaned, the field was once again usable for the next day.

After getting some lunch, filling my empty stomach and getting checked by Momoko (that holy goddess), I returned to my room as it was high time for me to continue my research.

The progress with making my compositions usable for combat was going very slow. Though I had started to get a vague idea how I could possibly make them work.

_Silent Step. A jutsu which coats your feet in chakra, swallowing each and every sound they would make._

Hmmm… Yeah, it definitely was the start of an idea.

**(To Love a Song)**

One month passed.

Two months passed.

And it was already the middle of the third one.

No signs of Orochimaru.

I often wondered what Pedo Snake was doing.

Not my silly speculations with his pedophilic tendencies. Those were of course just silly jokes.

No, I meant what he was _truly_ doing.

Was he in another base, conducting experiments which he could not do here? Was he spying on some village, searching for hidden secrets, forbidden jutsu? Was he searching for specific humans, with characteristics he needed? Was he trying to discover rare kekkei genkais he could use for future vessels?

As the third month passed by, my relationship with Kimimaro getting better and better, the sour incident slowly being forgotten, Orochimaru finally returned.

With clothes I had never thought of seeing on him.

And with another white-haired boy in tow.

_What the hell is Orochimaru doing with Kabuto while wearing the Akatsuki garbs?_

_But more importantly… Is he missing an arm?_


	13. Interlude of White and Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter available. And as of with this, we are up to date ^^ Hope you've enjoyed the journey so far and I'll be doing my best to get the next chapter out as soon as I can.
> 
> This chapter is written in Kimimaro's point of view, unlike the previous ones.

_Maybe, just maybe, there is no purpose in life. But if you linger a while longer in this world, you might discover something of value in it, like how you discovered that flower. Or, how I discovered you one fateful night._

My life had, at one point, no meaning. Locked in a dark cell in a cave like a wild animal, being fed with whatever leftovers they could find for me, I was but a weapon to be used by my clansmen when the need arose.

And the need arose.

But in vein. As I killed and killed whatever stranger crossed my path, as long as they saw themselves as Mist shinobi, I would slaughter them with my bones, watching as their life dimmed from their eyes. But it had never been enough, for my clansmen had fallen, leaving me the sole survivor of my family (if I could ever call them that).

I was alone, without a purpose for life, in a world so big for me that it was difficult to see a path to walk upon. At the verge of madness, as I asked but an innocent flower to give me the answers that I seeked, a man I had met by chance not long ago once again stood before me.

And with a few wise words and a hand outstretched, this stranger gave my life once again meaning.

To follow him.

To serve him.

To become his perfect vessel.

To become one with him.

I had expected for this path to be a lonely one. Others did not interest me. Only this stranger, who would be my caretaker, mentor as well as master, would have place in my heart. And so, I did not await any friendships to be formed in the years I had to live, before my body would become his.

So, the appearance of this weird girl, training by herself did not mean much for me. However, it seemed Orochimaru-sama held this girl in higher than normal regard, as the first thing he did as we reached his base, was seek her out.

She was covered in sweat, her black hair, which was tied in a high ponytail, stuck to the back of her neck, her clothes disheveled from the strange katas she performed as she beat the dummy.

And Orochimaru-sama spoke.

The way her face brightened as she heard the voice of my master, the way she dropped everything she was doing just to face and greet him, told me that she respected, maybe even loved, Orochimaru-sama just as much as I did. Though I could not be sure, as these feelings were new and strange to me.

However, as her eyes landed on me, it seemed like a strange realization hit her. She asked of me, her already cheerful demeanor becoming even brighter.

Maybe even to the point of obnoxiousness. I was unsure of how to react. I was flattered, of course, to be greeted in a such a loving manner. But I did not know how to react to her greeting, except for returning it with politeness.

As Orochimaru departed, his business still unfinished, interrupted by my presence here for sure, I was left alone with the girl, now known to me as Aika-san. She talked and talked, trying to keep a conversation with me, asking me question after question, curious of me as well as my powers.

And I answered every one of them.

Orochimaru thought highly of her and so I would give her the respect she deserved.

And then, she asked something quite unexpected.

"Kimimaro-kun. Would you like to spar after you've settled in your room? Though don't get too comfy in it, Orochimaru likes to switch places every few weeks."

A spar?

I did not know of her skill level, but I doubted she could hold up with my kekkei genkai's power. What I had seen, as she kicked and punched the dummy, her skillset did not appear to be amazing. And she did not appear to have any type of kekkei genkai, or else she would have shared with me as I showed her mine.

But… Even though I had a feeling this spar would be quite one-sided, I could not refuse her request. And I was quite tired from the trip, maybe she would even have a chance.

So I agreed, as it was only polite to do, after she had welcomed me with open arms.

But as she ran out of things to talk about, silence befell us, only the sound of our feet against the grass could be heard, as we made our way to the building of the base.

I did not realize when, but she had started humming a tune foreign to me.

It was a cheerful tune, representing her mood.

It was beautiful to listen to, her voice blending well with the notes.

As we reached our destination, the song ceased, and we said our goodbyes, but not until she offered me her aid if need arose.

And after a few hours of settling in… a need arose.

I did not want to bother her, despite her telling me otherwise. I had planned to simply remain in my new room and wait for Orochimaru-samas return, but… As I was left alone with my thoughts, I could not help but wonder… What was Orochimaru-sama like?

She seemed to have been here for quite a while. She knew Orochimaru-sama far longer than I for sure.

He was still a stranger to me, despite his importance to my person.

I needed to know more about the man I was devoting my life for. His kindness, his cruelty, his strength and weaknesses, his everything. And she would be the one holding the answers that I seeked.

Before I knew, I was already in front of her door knocking, her silvery voice inviting me in.

The conversation was very one-sided, similar to the one we had as we walked back. Though this time, I was the one with the questions, while she gave me elaborate answers. Answers I had expected and yet not.

For I could see in her eyes, as she spoke about Orochimaru-sama. She adored him, but was also terrified of him. She respected him and at the same time… she seemed to hold an air of mockery when she told certain parts.

Her reactions were contradicting yet honest.

And so, I concluded… Orochimaru-sama was a complex man full of contradictions.

Where he oozed charisma, he also oozed fear. Where he was giving, he was also calculating. Where he was caring, he was also cold. Where he was honest… he was also deceiving.

He seemed to arise conflict in Aika-san regarding her point of view.

Orochimaru-sama was a stranger, not just to me, but also to the girl in front of me… Though in a different way than for me. It seemed that, even though the time she seemed to have spent with Orochimaru-sama, she had yet to discover and understand his person.

A stranger indeed.

Aika-san had no more to say. Her words had died, she had no more information to relay.

With a polite goodbye and feeling the need to voice my opinion regarding her voice, her flustered face bringing a smile to my lips, I left her room once again, my thoughts much calmer as I returned to my own quarters.

I had thought my stay with Orochimaru-sama would be quite a lonely one.

But I started to doubt those thoughts, her presence already changing the outlook of my life here.

She would be a constant presence.

**(To Love a Song)**

The fight… Had ended in a way I did not expect.

The beginning of the spar had been relatively boring. She would escape, dodge, try to keep her distance from me, simultaneously trying to attack me from afar. However, with my superior kekkei genkai, I was able to deflect each and every one of her attacks.

But then… Then she started to get creative. Targeting things with her kunai I did not see any value in and thus allowed her in performing her traps.

The one that surprised me the most was… How had she thrown a kunai in that particular angle that it hit me in the back, while she herself was in the front, throwing them to my face?

Of course, I noticed a few stray ones. At that time, I had thought they had simply been bad aim. But it turned out that each of the kunai shot had always had a specific target. And they always hit, so long as there wasn't a third force blocking them.

She wounded me.

And I realized that I could not afford to play by her tune any longer. I had amused her long enough. It was time to end this match.

And then… her most creative assault took place.

She took a bone to the mouth, leaving me stunned, unsure of what to make of this situation. I had no desire to kill her. If I drove any further it would for sure hit a vital part which would leave her either crippled or dead.

So, I stopped in my tracks.

And she did not hesitate.

I felt my bones crumble to dust. A sensation I thought I would never experience, especially not throughout my entire skeleton. The pain was blinding, I could not even let out a scream as I simply fell to the ground.

I would have died.

If not for Orochimaru-sama, catching me in midfall before any of my organs got damaged, I would have died instantly.

But as soon as my bones shattered, just as soon I felt my body regenerate the bones I had lost.

I looked at the black-haired girl, who had been so nice to me and saw but a monster wearing the mask of an innocent.

A mistake she said.

I refused to see it as such.

It wasn't just my body that got damaged in that fight.

Having lost so pathetically in front of Orochimaru-sama… Hearing him praise her for the cruelty done to me…

My pride took a blow, for I had disappointed the one most important to me.

The one I wanted to show my strength and superiority to.

A feeling of loathing bloomed inside of me, the girl I thought I could maybe befriend, if only for the effort she was putting in it, died right there.

But I would be surprised once again.

**(To Love a Song)**

After I had healed (refusing to recall my time of weakness, as the girl nursed me back to health), my body once again capable of fighting, I started training with Orochimaru-sama.

And he was a ruthless man.

Most of our sparring sessions required that I not use Shikotsumyaku, but even with it, I would find myself with bruises across my entire body.

Her presence did not help either while I trained. For she would sometimes distract me.

While I had my taijutsu training with Orochimaru-sama, she would work on her chakra control as well as ninjutsu.

The first day in particular, I found myself glancing at her more often than not, hate seeping through each of my veins.

And the pride in Orochimaru-sama's eyes fueled my hate that much further for the girl.

I heard her shout, making me stop in the middle of my training, Orochimaru-sama completely ignoring her and focusing on only beating me.

My inattention caused a huge bruise to form on my chest.

"Transformation jutsu!"

She would repeatedly shout to herself, in hoped the jutsu would work.

Orochimaru-sama saw that Aika was a distraction to me and became even more cruel in his attacks.

She had warned me of this part of Orochimaru-sama.

And it was my own fault for allowing myself to get so easily distracted.

I focused back to the fight.

But after a few more minutes into the fight, once again my attention was derived.

She had succeeded in performing one of the jutsu assigned to her by Orochimaru-sama. She had transformed herself into a woman, which looked to be in her teens, though quite tall for her age. And I saw the way her face became conductor of emotions.

Guilt.

Anger.

Sadness.

And soon she transformed back. Training already over. And I was once again eating the dirt from the ground.

Orochimaru-sama was not pleased.

As Aika all but ignored Orochimaru-sama's and I's presence, I continued my training. This time no distractions to pull me out of the spar.

My attention span would get better with time. Her presence but a feeble fly which I could easily ignore. Even though she made a few attempts to talk to me, I would not give her the chance. When forced to talk, I would keep my sentences short and to the point.

And though I hated this girl, I could not be openly hostile with her, for Orochimaru-sama held her in high regards.

She had claimed to not know why Orochimaru-sama kept her around. But I think I knew.

It was the thrill of surprise which led to her being in my master's presence. She was unpredictable. Always coming up with crazy ideas which left Orochimaru-sama amused. She sometimes had even moments where she reminded me of Orochimaru-sama himself. Where she seemed so kind and yet couldn't be more cruel.

I did not want to see Orochimaru-sama in her.

They were nothing alike.

The month passed.

And Orochimaru-sama had to depart once again.

"You should train with Aika-chan, Kimimaro-kun." He told me before he left.

It wasn't a command.

It was a suggestion.

I could refuse.

I would refuse.

**(To love a Song)**

It was our day off. The day after Orochimaru-sama had left. And I did not know what to do with my free time. I never truly had time for myself.

Well… Of course I had had plenty of time alone when I was kept caged, but I had limited options as what to do. I would often just scratch the walls with a stray rock or stick, or play with my clothes.

However here… here I could do whatever I pleased. And I was at a loss what to actually do. Do I go out for a walk? Do I play some game alone? Do I simply lay in bed and do nothing all day?

I did not know how to have… fun. How to enjoy a day off.

How to simply relax.

So, I did the only thing I could think of and not feel like a day had been wasted.

I went to train.

The training field was empty, thankful that Aika was nowhere to be seen. With the injuries she suffered yesterday though, it was no surprise that I did not see her around.

Of course, I was not left unscathed either. I should by all means be recovering.

But I couldn't.

I was healed for the most part and a dummy would hardly do me any damage.

And so, I started with a simple warmup, building up to my katas.

And then I heard a humming.

I would recognize that voice anywhere, often hearing her sing in my room as the melody bypassed the walls between our quarters.

But this one was different from any of the songs I had heard her sing.

It was foreign.

Soothing.

I could hear the notes piercing my soul.

This wasn't her song.

And against my better judgment, I went to investigate.

She was seated, her back against a tree trunk as she faced the nearby pond. As I hid myself behind the leaves of a tree, I watched her hum, her eyes closed, unaware of what was lurking around.

She believed she was truly alone.

And I listened.

It was a fascinating tune. It almost felt like she was humming alongside some other unknown melody. I had heard from Orochimaru-sama that her hearing worked differently from ours. Was she hearing things I could not comprehend?

I sat down on the branch, still hidden from sight.

She would sometime open her eyes, look at the glistering pond, a peaceful smile carved on her lips.

My day was spent listening and watching the girl I believed to hate.

I think… I understood now how to spend a day off. What relaxing meant. My body felt at peace.

As she returned back to the base, the sun long gone form the horizon, I soon followed her suit (though remaining hidden from sight, she never knew I had ever been there).

As I laid in bed, thinking of how uselessly and yet peacefully this day had been spent, I could not help but feel a distaste that this girl had been the reason for my relaxed state.

She had hurt me.

She had embarrassed me.

Stripped me of my dignity.

But…

Maybe Orochimaru-sama was right.

I should train with her.

The next morning, I was on the grounds awaiting her arrival.

**(To Love a Song)**

Aika's words lingered in my mind for several days to come.

She called it a mistake.

A mistake had brought me to my knees.

A not well thought out plan had destroyed me.

She truly believed that those words would make the situation better…

If anything… they made me angrier.

But angry at who?

I was enraged but not blind.

She had never meant to hurt me. She had simply thought of her win, of the need to prove herself, just as I wanted to prove myself. We both were competing for the attention of Orochimaru-sama. And she had well earned his attention.

I still felt hurt though.

My pride in tatters.

I had lost a match I should have won.

Over a mistake.

I was angry.

Angry at her.

Angry at myself.

Just angry.

And it felt good to let my anger out on her as we sparred. Seeing the defeat in her eyes. The hurt as I left her to clean up the field alone without glancing back.

The only thing that would bring me even further satisfaction was if Orochimaru were to see her failures.

And then… her voice once again enthralled me.

In our spars, I had dropped my hairband. The only hairband I owned. And I was forced to return back to the field, where Aika would be cleaning.

And she was once again humming.

This tune a familiar one.

The one she had hummed the first time we met.

And I watched her clean. As she sighed dramatically with each dummy she had to repair. She sometimes cursed, using words I had often heard from my clansman being used. And she sometimes rubbed the bruises I had inflicted upon her.

But as she continued humming, sometimes going all out and singing aloud, the lyrics a chain of lalalas.

The stress of the day seemed to roll off her shoulders and the smile I could never see in our spars would slowly return.

I was angry.

But I should not be angry at her.

There was a reason why she was with Orochimaru-sama. Her beating me had been proof of her placement. Her strength.

It was I who had been careless.

Had decided to humor her, rather than go full on out. Allowing her mind to go through various ideas. Allowing her to get desperate enough to use an untested jutsu on me.

My hairband lay forgotten in the field.

**(To Love a Song)**

The next day… I did not go any easier on her. I continued to be ruthless, to beat her down every chance I got. I did not allow her to gain any distance. For her mind to think of creative ideas how to get the upper hand.

Her idea of creative was a dangerous one.

I had learned my lesson the first time around.

But after her loss… she did not remain alone as usual.

I offered my aid in cleaning the field.

Her face brightened instantly, her eyes filled with hope.

I wasn't angry anymore.

We did not talk much, if at all. She continued humming, though she kept it down unlike when she cleaned alone. We both tried to avoid getting in each-others way.

The day went by.

It would not be the first time I would offer my aid to her. But it wouldn't be a regular thing either.

Our relationship brightened with each day spent together.

**(To Love a Song)**

It would be my second defeat.

And once again her attack had been unpredictable, leaving me frozen in my tracks, earning her the win.

It was a new jutsu she had learned. A sound release jutsu which would blast me miles away with a great enough force.

She had been clever about it. Letting me chase a clone, as she carefully laid her trap. And before I knew it, she was behind me, her hand seals quickly drawn as she blasted me into the net of ninja wire she had prepared, trapping me in a confused state, before she quickly made her way to my person, holding one of her daggers under my neck.

It was a check mate.

I had been a bit bummed about my loss. However, she had put effort in the fight, defeating me with her wit and a weapon I had no idea how to counter as of yet.

I was left to clean the field alone, as she left happily, already planning the celebration of her win.

I sighed as I saw her silhouette disappear, but I could not get away the tiny smile that had creeped its way on my lips.

In the end, as I was finished with my chores, she had awaited me with a warm meal and a glass of juice, her reasoning being that she did not enjoy celebrating alone.

The days went on.

**(To Love a Song)**

Aika-san seemed conflicted. Training was done for today, though I had remained to aid her in cleaning up after her loss.

She seemed to want to ask me something. The words but on the tip of her tongue. Yet they would not escape her mouth.

"Wh…"

It was the beginning of a sentence, she wanted to have a conversation with me. I looked at her, a brow raised, awaiting further information.

"Never mind" She said awkwardly, and we returned to our chores.

I wondered what she could have wanted to ask. But initially, if she had decided against sharing that bit of her thoughts, then it surely wasn't very important.

A month had passed since Orochimaru-sama had departed.

**(To Love a Song)**

Sometimes, Aika-san and I would have a day off. Especially when we had gone too far with training the previous day.

She would often go to the same place to relax. The one where she sat down in front of the pond, gazing and humming. And she had invited me to join her. She wanted for me to see what she saw, to hear what she heard, to feel what she felt.

I knew all those of course. Having spied, as reluctant as I was to admit that part.

But I did not refuse.

I would like to feel the same peace I felt that day.

We had a picnic outside, unwilling to go back and forth for when our stomachs demanded food. She would often try to make small talk, telling me about hoe nature sounded, the different melodies it produced, how blessed she felt about the abilities Orochimaru-sama had given her.

She would tell me about her pain, complaining about her aches, often exaggerating.

And I listened. Her voice pleasant.

I would nod when appropriate, reply when I could. But it was mostly her talking.

And she did not seem to mind. Neither did I.

Our friendship kept growing.

Slowly.

Very slow.

And I was unsure if I wanted her to be my friend in the first place.

But I would at least see her as my equal. Her power might not match mine, but her mind made up for my superior strength.

The second month passed.

**(To Love a Song)**

The third month passed in a similar manner. And each day, I got to see a more mischievous side of Aika-san. She would often use naughty words around me, her filter getting more and more lose whenever something unpleasant happened to her.

I had not though she would even possess such vulgar language. She never uttered any of those words in Orochimaru-sama's presence. It made me wonder if she would ever do so and if so, what would Orochimaru-sama's reaction be?

Would he be amused?

Angry?

Every day spent without my master, it was harder and harder not to think about him.

He had been gone for so long.

Would he ever return?

Was he still alive?

Of course, he would be alive. Orochimaru-sama was strong.

Aika-san seemed to not be worried about his wellbeing. She was confident that Orochimaru-sama was well and alive.

So, when he returned with a boy in tow, in a red and black cloak missing an arm, my feelings once again conflicted.

Why was there another child with him?

Was he to replace me as his vessel.

Had my loss against Aika-san made me unworthy in his eyes?

And why was he hurt?

Who had hurt him?

If only I was strong enough to lend my body to Orochimaru-sama!

I looked at Aika-san, as if she would give me the answers she could not possibly know.

"Pack your things children. We need to move now."


	14. The Lucky Third

The urgency in Orochimaru's voice left little room to argue. And Orochimaru was rarely ever in a hurry.

I had not been aware that Pedo Snake left Akatsuki this late in the series. At least I assumed that's what happened judging by the state he was in. I mean a cut arm? I don't think just anyone could achieve that. He'd probably been in an even worse state if not for Kabuto's medical skills.

Kimimaro and I immediately made our way to the base's building, gathering what few belongings we had in our rooms, sealing them in a storage scroll, ready to depart.

Thankfully it had not been that long since we started training, our energy tanks mostly full. So, we wouldn't tire from the sudden trip. I would imagine there would be no breaks in this trip, Orochimaru's paranoia probably keeping him hot on his feet.

Not that his paranoia was misplaced. The Akatsuki was probably trying to chase him down.

As we reached the field where Orochimaru was waiting, Pedo Snake had already taken off his Akatsuki garbs, probably sealed somewhere or hell, even burned. He even changed his appearance, darkening his skin tone, his snake markings gone and generally more harsh features. I mean, I could still see Orochimaru in him but at the same time not.

We probably would look like a genin team on a mission seeing as we were all around the same age (Kabuto a tiny wee bit older) which would lead the Akatsuki even more astray in their hunt.

"Ready." I announced, Kimimaro simply nodding along.

Orochimaru immediately took off, no words exchanged, leaving us to follow him as fast as we could.

Now that I had had a few years of proper training, unlike the very first time I was forced to travel with Orochimaru, where he had slowed his pace immensely for me, I could easily keep up with his normal speed. Especially after switching bases so often and thus traveling being a common occurrence.

However, the pace he was using this time was far quicker. It was obvious he wanted to get to his destination as fast as possible and probably further the distance between his former allies, now enemies. I had to actually focus quite hard to not lose sight of him as well as keep up with his step.

It left no room for any talk, I couldn't even ask about Kabuto. No introduction, no nothing.

After a few hours of doing nothing but jumping from tree to tree at an insane pace, Orochimaru finally slowed down.

It allowed me to catch my breath, fill my lungs with much needed air.

"So…" - I took another gulp of air - "What are we running from?" I dared to ask, my breathing ragged.

It wasn't just a question to know what's the danger. I knew of the danger… at least I had a theory. But I also wanted to know what role Kabuto played in all this.

As the thoughts passed me, I stole a glance at the older boy.

In the series… I had actually despised Kabuto. Reminded me more of a rat rather than a snake and certainly not a dragon. Far from one, really. I could not remember many specifics from the series anymore, far too many years had passed since I last saw Naruto.

The only thing that had stuck in my memories were the really major events, such as the Uchiha massacre, the chunin exam and in turn the invasion, Sasuke's defection, joining Orochimaru and in turn killing him temporarily, Sakura's defeat of Sasori (and only time where she shined) and of course I could never forget Akatsuki's attack on Konoha.

Best.

Fight.

Ever!

I knew a few other details of course, regarding the aftermath of the invasion, such as Kakashi becoming Hogake and then all that bull crap with Tobi/Obito, Madara, Zetsu, and Asura, Indra I don't even know what shit.

So, I wasn't sure how justified my dislike for the boy was any longer. I mean… I hadn't been very fond of Orochimaru in the beginning either. Wished him dead honestly.

And look at me now. Basically, worshipping this cruel son of a bitch.

The characters had taken a new light. And though I could not completely erase my current dislike for the medic-nin, I was willing to give him a chance. Much like Kimimaro had given me a second chance after that disastrous start.

"Akatsuki." came Orohimaru's simple reply, tearing me from my rambling thoughts.

Of course, I knew what Akatsuki was, but I had to keep appearance after all. As a seven, almost eight years old, I would have no clue of the organization.

"Akatsuki?"

This time, it wasn't Orochimaru answering, but Kabuto.

"A secret organization made up of S-rank ninja, aiming for world peace."

Wait, what? World peace?

A snort escaped me, in disbelief and humor.

Ah right… that's how it started… Hard to keep in mind when the members of the organization for world peace is made off of bloodthirsty killers who thrive in conflict. Seriously… why did Nagato think it was a good idea to hire criminals for world peace? That defied absolutely every ounce of reasoning.

And why did those criminals join in the first place, what the actual fuck?

I swear, everyone with an OP dojutsu simply has a major couple of screws loose.

"Sounds shady… And they are chasing us because…" Orochimaru obviously can't keep his hands to himself when the Sharingan is basically presented to him in a silver platter… except, it's really not. Itachi is a tough son of a bitch.

"I betrayed them."

"You betrayed them…"

Silence.

"You betrayed an organization made up of S-rank ninja aiming for world peace…

Which means you initially joined an organization which want to erase all conflict in the world… And betrayed them…" As I said it, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"I doubt you joined for the cause they stand for Orochimaru-sama, right?" I said while wiping a stay tear away.

"Are you always this nosy?" Kabuto asked.

"Are you always this annoying?" I retorted.

Tch, the first words he actually says to me and it has to be an insult. Way to gain points Kabuto-chan.

Orochimaru chuckled. If because of our banter, or me laughing at the ridiculousness that is Orochimaru's mind I did not know.

"They had something I wanted." Came Pedo Snake's easy reply, the smirk never leaving his now not so pale ass face.

"Another child to kidnap?" I said before I could stop myself.

Kabuto, Kimimaro and Orochimaru looked at me simultaneously, each wearing a different expression. Orochimaru with his usual amused look, Kabuto simply looking like I completely lost my marbles (which I probably did) and Kimimaro utterly offended.

What? It was a plausible question, even if I did know the truth!

"I mean, I'm guessing that's why… um… Glasses here joined us." I started getting a bit nervous over the looks.

"Orochimaru-sama does not kidnap children Aika-san." For the first time in hours, Kimimaro voiced his opinion.

"Negotiating with them, kidnapping them, you say po-tay-to I say po-tah-to" I shrugged.

Both children were left gaping at my bluntness. Honestly, I'd be gaping too. Maybe it was the tiredness making my mouth run wild?

"And do you consider yourself kidnapped Aika-chan?" there was a dangerous edge in Orochimaru's voice, even though his face never changing from the amused look.

"K…Kinda? I mean, I did come out of my free will with you, but I believe there was some form of manipulation from your side as well… Orochimaru-sama." I said honestly, a drop of sweat finding its way on my forehead.

"And yet, you still choose to stay?" As if I could ever leave.

"The benefits far outweigh the crime I would say." And I kinda formed an emotional attachment to you, which absolutely sucks, but that's beside the point.

Orochimaru chuckled once again, his tongue slithering out of his lips. That danger vibe still lingered, but I did not feel threatened. Not anymore. I guess Orochimaru did not often get challenged by his followers… if this even was challenging.

At least he was a good sport about it? In a way? I mean… He didn't kill me?

"To answer your question, Aika-chan,"- my attention immediately on Orochimaru –"I did not betray the Akatsuki over a… child."

Lies!

Isn't Itachi still a child right now? Technically, he did betray them over a child.

"Then why?" Was he going to admit his desire for the Sharingan? Or much more importantly, the Rinnegan? And his failure at obtaining either of the dojutsu?

Now that I think about it… Orochimaru got his ass handed by a freaking teen who barely just reached puberty. Holly… How powerful is Itachi?

Fucking Scary!

"The Sharingan." Came his short reply.

"Isn't the Sharingan also a dojutsu? Like the Byakugan right?" I remembered the conversation I had had once with Orochimaru about dojutsu in Konohagakure.

"It is far more powerful child." And I bet you don't know half of the power it possesses.

Especially the Mangekyo Sharingan, my god is that shit over powered.

"Is that how you lost your arm?" My mouth once again running along before consulting my brain.

"You ask far too many questions. What Orochimaru-sama did and what has occurred has nothing to do with you. It is not your place to ask" Came Kabuto in Orochimaru's defense. I glared at Kabuto, displeased at his interference.

"And it is not your place to defend and answer in Orochimaru-sama's stead. You believe to be his consultant?" He was getting on my nerves with all his defending. Did Pedo Snake not have a mouth to talk? Did he not have a brain to know what to share and what not to share?

As if I could ever force Orochimaru to say something he wanted to keep secret.

But still…

I wanted to know.

It would be the first time Orochimaru would admit to weakness. I wondered if I was going maybe too far? I knew the story, I could connect the dots what had happened and fill the gaps in my memory.

But I wanted to hear it from his mouth.

I wanted Orochimaru to trust me with his achievements as well as failures.

Kabuto seems to know about them, why shouldn't I?

He had known me since I was in diapers (literally). He had earned my trust, can't this go both ways?

"A great ninja will admit failure where there is failure to be seen. For with failure, you can correct the errors made and never repeat them again. The same can be said for a scientist and his experimentations. And I am first and foremost a scientist at heart."

My eyes went wide open.

Orochimaru admitted his failure (and also that apparently, he has a heart). Even though I could feel his aura darkening by the second, memories of his encounter with Itachi most likely replaying in his head, I felt proud. Happy even. Because Orochimaru had trusted me with this information. And he knew I would never utter a single word of his defeat.

Because it wasn't truly a defeat. It was a test run. An error to be fixed.

And if the determination in Orochimaru's eyes, as well as the tongue slipping out from his mouth, he would not repeat the same mistake.

"Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto protested.

"The Sharingan is not to be underestimated."

Then how come you underestimated Sasuke in canon Orochimaru-sama? When you suffered defeat from another Sharingan wielder.

Did you believe Sasuke to be less efficient than Itachi with his Sharingan.

You should have headed your own words.

To be defeated once again by a teen.

I scoffed.

Was it truly just because his body had been weakened? Was he truly caught by surprise?

Or did he once again underestimate the power the Sharingan holds?

"I don't understand though, Orochimaru-sama. As far as I am aware, the Sharingan is in huge supplies. There is an entire clan with the dojutsu. Why go after an S-Rank ninja, instead of stealing them from a much weaker opponent and harness the power yourself? The security of Konoha shouldn't be too difficult for you to sneak in."

Of course, that was all bullshit I was telling. If Itachi was already in the Akatsuki, Sasuke should be the last remaining Uchiha beside his brother and Obito of course.

"Because there are only 3 Uchiha left in this world. And two of them are currently being guarded under tight security due to an incident. It will be years before security in Konoha loosens again." Answered Kabuto.

Three? They knew about Obito already? Though what did he mean, guarded? Itachi and Obito are being guarded by who? Pein? Zetsu? How do they even know?

The shock was apparent in my eyes, though for different reasons than what they thought.

"Itachi Uchiha, the S-Rank ninja which Orochimaru-sama encountered, murdered his entire clan for sports, leaving only his little brother alive… and another child which he overlooked."

Wait…

What?

My foot slipped on a branch, causing me to crash down the forest, completely losing my footing. I fell and fell as my mind tried to process what Kabuto had just said.

Maybe I had heard wrong?

All three males stopped in their tracks, too late for them to catch me from crashing down.

"A… Another child? He overlooked?" I was completely baffled, the injuries on my body not registering.

However, Kabuto was already by my side, hands glowing green as he healed the scratches and apparently the twisted ankle I got from the slipup. I hadn't even noticed from sheer shock.

Itachi did not overlook a single Uchiha! What the hell, up till now everything had been accurate to canon? Why is there suddenly an extra Uchiha?

And what a joke it was! Itachi, OVERLOOKING. What the actual hell!?

Maybe Kishimoto simply never talked about the extra child? Maybe it truly happened in canon but got never into the story? The child could have died soon after the massacre for all I know, making him irrelevant to the story? I mean, who knows, maybe Kishimoto was some kind of dimensional seer, simply writing whatever happened here on his manga and leaving the uninteresting bits out, such as the dead extra Uchiha.

Except.

He wasn't dead yet.

Though an extra survivor, no matter how short lived their life, would still be relevant to the plot. Kishimoto couldn't have possibly left such a detail out, no way!

Could it be the Butterfly Effect then? Did my existence already change canon?

No.

How could it? I have done absolutely nothing to influence Konoha. Hell, I'm barely influencing Orochimaru and Kimimaro here. So how could my mere existence change the outcome of the massacre by one plus survivor?

But then again, how can the tiny flap of a butterfly's wings cause a tsunami elsewhere.

Maybe that's why it was called the Butterfly Effect?

Did I truly already change canon just by merely existing?

It was frightening.

I mean, yeah, I totally wanted to fuck up the plot but… This had not been planned. I could have never foreseen this. It had been completely out of my control! Having knowledge of the future was what made me the joker of this world. But if the joker herself doesn't truly knows the events fated to happen in this world…

How?

How could I have possibly changed it? There HAS to be something I did that lead to the extra survivor.

But what?

Was fate really that easily changed?

My body started shaking in panic.

"T…Tell me more about the surviving Uchiha!" I gripped Kabuto tight, the logic of my situation completely escaping me.

How weird was it to them, that I reacted so strongly, over Uchiha survivors which I had never ,et in my ENTIRE life? Couldn't have!

From utter shock andmy rough behavior, Kabuto complied.

"The Uchiha was a boy orphan. Having been out way past curfew the day of the massacre, disobeying the matron. By luck, he missed the entire ordeal, surviving along with Sasuke Uchiha."

By luck he says…

This was HILARIOUS!

"And… what's the name of this lucky Uchiha…" My voice barely above a whisper, as I tried to contain my crazy laughter bubbling up.

I swallowed.

"Zakku Uchiha."

The name was utterly and complete unfamiliar. It did not ring a single bell. It was almost otherworldly.

He should have not existed.

One and only one thought raced through in my mind as I tried to process the reality of my situation.

How?

How?

How?

How?

How?

HOW?

"Orochimaru-sama, she is having a panic attack." Kabuto looked worriedly at Orochimaru.

I was having a panic attack.

I was having a FREAKING panic attack.

Over a freaking survivor.

I was having a damned panic attack.

"Do you have some type of paper or plastic bag with you?" Kabuto asked with Pedo Snake or Kimimaro.

My breath was ragged.

I could not believe this.

I was having a panic attack.

While the Akatsuki was chasing Orochimaru.

Time was essential, and I was delaying them over a silly panic attack.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK!

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.

So, what?

I changed the plot.

_Breath in._

Big deal.

It wasn't planned.

So?

_Breath out._

My death was also unplanned in my previous life.

Did I panic.

No.

_Breath in._

Life is supposed to be unpredictable.

So, fuck this, the plot can damn itself.

_Breath out._

I felt myself calm down.

Once I was sure my panic attack was over, I faced the three males hovering over me.

"Um… I'm ok now." I said meekly, heat rising up my cheeks, imagining how random and utterly weird this panic attack must have looked to them.

How would I be able to explain this? I just had a panic attack over a survivor which by all means should mean nothing to me.

Oh god, how do I explain this?

"Aika-san… what just happened?" I looked at Kimimaro.

"I… I don't know..." The only thing I could say.

"Stand up Aika, we've already lost enough time." Orochimaru's voice sounded strained. He did not look at me.

I stood up, testing my healed ankle, a quiet thank you thrown at Kabuto's direction, before I followed Orochimaru, his speed having increased once again.

Oh god, how was I going to explain this?

**(To Love a Song)**

An entire day went by, the night falling. And we had yet to take a real break. The only type of break we got was a slower pace for a couple of hours before the speed increased again.

Except the first conversation we had, no more words were exchanged. Simply glances. Though Orochimaru had refused to look at me.

And my heart was beating widely the whole time, thinking of excuse after excuse after excuse I could say which would not sound like a lie. Which would explain why I had reacted that way.

I could not think of one good one.

I was left with two choices.

Tell the truth.

Or hope that Orochimaru would not demand answers and if he did, deny him the answer.

I could never tell him the truth. How could I? He would probably immediately start dissecting me, wanting to know how I could have had interdimensional traveling upon death. Probably start exploring other world possibilities, and what not.

But… how well would it go to simply omit the truth from him.

How could I deny Orochimaru-sama answers?

Gosh, I was so scared.

Terrified even.

Not only of Orochimaru.

But the lingering fear of my existence already causing ripples in this timeline without even TRYING… It scared me.

What if the Akatsuki succeeded in forming the Juubi before anyone (namely Naruto and Sasuke) could be powerful enough to stop it.

What if the eternal Tsukuyomi would happen, damning humanity into an eternal dreamland.

It was scary. So scary.

But there had to be a connection. Some type of connection why I caused an extra survivor in the Uchiha clan. There HAD to be.

Everything is linked.

It has to be.

The tsunami was caused by a butterfly's wing flap.

So, the question was.

What was my wing flap?

What had I done, so small, yet so significant to cause an extra soul to live?

I bit my lip.

I needed to calm down before another panic attack would grip me.

I started humming, like I often would do when the stress became too much. By now, Orochimaru and Kimimaro had become accustomed to my singing at random times.

And I believe that Kimimaro even enjoyed listening to me.

However, for Kabuto, it was a completely new experience.

"What are you doing?" He broke the silence, even though technically it was I who added some sound into the quiet (though for me it was never truly selent).

"Shhhhhh…" A simple gesture from Kimimaro, ordering Kabuto to no longer talk.

Kabuto looked at Orochimaru, searching for answers. However, when Pedo Snake paid him no head, he took the situation for what it was and kept his tongue.

In the end, I believe, he began to also enjoy the song I was singing, the journey continuing without words exchanged.

**(To Love a Song)**

At the very last, we reached our destination.

A place I had never seen before, the sound of water falling down loud in my ears.

The closer we came to the building, the more I felt the tiredness seep into my bones. The trip having been tiring, physically as well as emotionally.

We could finally rest.

Usually, Orochimaru's bases had the same inner architecture, making it easy to orient oneself, unless there was a special laboratory of course, which required a completely different setting. Thankfully, this one seemed to keep the same structure as the former one, making it easy to find my way to my designated room. However, before we were discharged, finally the overdue introduction took place.

"Before you go to rest, I believe an introduction is at need."

I looked at Kabuto.

"It would be nice to call him something else than Glasses I guess…" I tried to be witty, but my tiredness simply made my sentence look more like a lame joke.

Kabuto simply glared, his arms crossed.

"My name is Yakushi Kabuto, a medic-nin from Konoha." Despite his obvious annoyance with me, his introduction was polite.

"One of the best medic-nins. A truly gifted child." Orochimaru gave his praise. And when Orochimaru praised, the value of those words weighted heavily.

"Haruta Aika." I said nonchalantly, nodding his way.

"My name is Kaguya Kimimaro, a pleasure to meet you." He bowed.

"You are free to go now. Kabuto, you have the usual chambers in the medic section.

Tomorrow, I'll be awaiting you two at dawn. There is much to be done." Orochimaru simply stated.

Kimimaro and I both nodded. However, my thoughts were more focused on Orochimaru's comment about Kabuto's resting place.

So, this wasn't the first time Kabuto had been in one of Pedo Snake's bases. I thought he had been recently recruited, much like Kimimaro?

Interesting.

How long did these two actually know each other? Canon never truly elaborated on that.

With a mental shrug, too tired to think further, I went to my usual room, not bothering to unpack any of my belongings, not even changing clothes as I crashed onto my bed, sleep quickly taking over.

Gosh, what a day.

Orochimaru returns, drags us to hell and back, tells me unbelievable fucking news and the proceeds to ignore my existence until the very last moment.

With my eyes closed, I felt darkness slowly engulf me.

But not without a final thought crossing my mind.

_Why is there an extra Uchiha alive?_


	15. Forever

The next morning came, dread filling my body. I felt physically sick just thinking about the confrontation I would have to have with Orochimaru regarding my behavior of yesterday. The question was, was he going to question me with Kimimaro present or when we were completely alone?

Somehow, I had the feeling it would be the latter.

But damn, I had no idea how to excuse myself out of this one. The truth was out of the question. Orochimaru would not hesitate to open me wide with his scalpels and see HOW a soul could have traveled through multiple planes.

And up till now, I was unable to think of any lie which would get me through. I only hoped I would somehow get out of this situation unscathed.

But with Orochimaru, you could never know.

The way he gave me the cold shoulder. The way he ignored me after my initial reaction. He knew I was hiding something. Something that would displease him. Something he had no desire for the other kids to know.

Reluctantly putting on my clothes and tying my kunai straps around my thighs as well as my dagger belt on my waist, I headed as slowly as I could towards the training ground, delaying the inevitable.

Kimimaro had already started doing his warmups as I arrived. He stopped for a second, giving me a slight nod of approval before going back to what he was doing.

I scanned the area with my eyes, seeing if I had missed the presence of Orochimaru. Usually Orochimaru would be the first thing my eyes would be glued to. He was like this beacon of light you couldn't simply ignore. Of course, the beacon of light's meaning was far from positive in regards of Pedo Snake.

However, as seconds passed without his creepy voice greeting me, I assumed he had yet to arrive.

Strange, he usually was the first one waiting for us on the field.

He probably had things to take care of.

My execution most likely.

Feeling a bit relieved however, his creepy ass yet to breath down my neck, I went to also do my warmups next to Kimimaro, stretching my muscles, before we decided to do a few laps around the field together until Orochimaru would arrive.

"Good morning, Kimimaro-kun, _Aika-chan_ " I tried to remain as still as possible, holding back a flinch as he said my name. Ugh, this day was going to be horrible.

"Good morning, Orochimaru-sama." Came Kimimaro's polite and yet happy reply. Ah, right. This was the first time Orochimaru was gone for Kimimaro and that so soon after his arrival. Of course, he would be happy to resume his lessons with Pedo Snake.

Though, I was curious why he requested us both at the same time for training, instead of doing it separately like he did before he went away in his three-month long trip.

"Good morning… Orochimaru-sama" I said a bit less enthusiastically.

At the very least it meant that I had a bit more time to maybe come up with a good excuse for my godawful reaction of yesterday.

Unfortunately, that would be impossible as I would be far too concentrated not to get the shit kicked out of me. Even with Kimimaro by my side. No, especially because of Kimimaro by my side.

"I was pleasantly surprised to see that you had decided to work together after all." Orochimaru smirked.

I looked at Kimimaro in shock, having been under the impression that Orochimaru had ordered him to train with me.

Kimimro simply looked at Orochimaru, not sparing me a glance.

He had trained with me of his own free will? But why? I had been under the impression that he loathed me? Or did he force himself to train with me just so he could please Orochimaru?

I could definitely see him do that.

Well at least our relationship was much, much better than it was in the beginning.

I tore my eyes away from Kimimaro, once again looking at my pedophilic mentor and what kinds of torture he had planned this time around. And it would probably be double as vicious with two students at his presence.

"As a ninja, it is important to be skillful as an individual in case they get separated from their team and are forced to face the enemy on their own. However, shinobi's almost always go on missions as a team. A three to four man team to be exact. And though I don't doubt you have improved in skills these past three months of my absence" - The tone he used with the last sentence promised unforeseeable pain if we had slacked off – "You have yet to experience working in teams.

In today's lesson, you will try to work together to defeat an opponent which you could never defeat on your own."

Kimimaro and I looked at one another, feeling slightly awkward. We had no qualms beating the shit out of each other (so long as it wasn't life threatening), but we had never once considered fighting _together_. As a unified front.

How could our powers even match with one another? I was a long-range fighter and only got up close and personal when I saw an opening in my opponent, while Kimimaro preferred close range, only occasionally throwing bones from a distance to get the enemy of balance (which he had gotten much matter seeing as I constantly was at a distance and he was forced to actually throw things at me as our speed was on par, never being able to truly close the distance between us unless I wanted to do so).

I guess the logical option would be me attacking from a distance, get Orochimaru focused on my attacks as Kimimaro would try to hopefuly find enough opening to inflict some damage.

Ugh, this was going to be impossible.

After we were done staring at each other, seemingly understanding what had been going in our minds and giving one another a slight nod, we immediately resumed a fighting stance, I jumped a few yards away, while Kimimaro remained close to Orochimaru.

I hid in a tree, silently observing the fight, waiting for Orochimaru to make some kind of mistake (which obviously was not going to happen) or maybe distract Orochimaru in such a way the Kimimaro would have it easier to fight.

The thing that bothered me the most at being a long-range fighter though, was the fact that I was limited to how many kunai I could carry (even with their size reduced). I had considered using a storage scroll but found myself utterly horrendous in their usage, forced to scratch that idea and once again find ways how to carry as many kunai on my body without looking like a complete fool.

Most of the sparring matches with Kimimaro I would run out of kunai far too quickly, being forced to either retrieve them from the ground or the objects they were stuck on, leaving me open to attacks, or resume to close combat, which was never a good idea when your opponent was basically a god in taijutsu.

I mean, I wasn't even wrong about the god part. Kimimaro's bloodline was after all descendant from Kaguya, a freaking goddess.

I sometimes felt like such a loser when compared to the people surrounding me.

Orochimaru was basically perfect in EVERYTHING. If he ever got his hands on a sharingan, the world really should start peeing their pants. He would be a force to behold. He was already a force to behold.

Kimimaro had the best fucking kekkei genkai one could hope for regarding taijutsu. If it weren't for his illness (which I still had no idea how to cure by the way), he would have maybe even gotten to the god level powers Naruto and Sasuke did, if he developed his abilities further.

Kabuto was a genius in the medical field. That guy was most likely the reason why Orochimaru even got this far with his body switch jutsu. He was a fucking rat and annoyed me (and I'd only met him just two days ago) but he was a freaking prodigy in his field. He even got sage mode, which as far as I know is fucking impossible for most people.

And what did I have?

A modified body, some sound jutsu I had yet to perfect, some kunai to throw around and a taijutsu style I was reluctant to use because the people I fought against were THAT FUCKING GREAT in taijutsu.

I did not wish to be left in the shadow of others.

I wanted to shine.

To be so fucking bright that everyone would be blinded.

I wish I could have been born with a dojutsu instead of with just this normal body. I wish I could be more than just Haruta Aika.

The fight was in full motion while I had been hiding on a tree, so immersed in my thoughts that I had left Kimimaro handle Orochimaru entirely on his own.

I needed to get a grip on myself.

Yes, I sucked right now. I was a ninja just above average. But I still had time to push myself further.

The fight went on and on, Orochimaru not showing any sign of slowing down, Kimimaro being thrown across the field like a tennis ball. However, his kekkei genkai allowed him to absorb a lot of damage without wounding him, having him get back to his feet quite easily.

Observing the field as well as the path they were heading to as they exchanged blows, I took a few kunai in hand. Just as I was about to throw, I caught Orochimaru looking directly in my eyes, still keeping up with Kimimaro's attacks.

I halted, knowing the kunai would probably be used against us if I threw it, Kimimaro iterly unaware of my position as well as the attack I had planned.

I could not really make Kimimaro's attention lock onto me, seeing as it would distract him from the initial fight (and if Kimimaro could notice me, then Orochimaru sure as hell could too), so I needed for both parties to lose sight of me. Orochimaru needed to be completely immersed into the fight if I wanted a sliver of chance to actually stay hidden from his senses.

I bit my lip, having yet to even attack, feeling completely useless. However, if I gave in to my impulses, to my desire to do SOMETHING, I'd probably simply jeopardize the fight. I needed to be patient, silent, unpredictable.

I needed to come out of nowhere, startle Orochimaru, catch him off guard.

Kimimaro would be able to handle Pedo Snake for a while, I simply had to concentrate on giving him openings.

Hiding from tree to tree, using the jutsu I had learned but a few days ago to mask the sound of my steps, I once again stopped, observing the fight and looking for any sing that Orochimaru might still know of my location.

Kimimaro had stepped up his game, his entire upper body guarded by lethal bones, making it difficult for Orochimaru to hit the boy unless he wanted to risk injury. To do damage while keeping himself away from harm, Orochimaru had no room to pay attention to anything else.

Perfect.

As the fight was full in motion, I tried to distinguish some type of pattern in their moves in order for me to distinguish when my kunai would hit the enemy and when my own ally. They were fast, their blows sharp and merciless.

And even though the attacks seemed random they kept a certain rhythm. A rhythm I could clearly hear. So, I knew when hits and kicks would be exchanged and when they would wait. When they would switch into a defensive position and when into offense. And that switch between those two stances was the opening I needed.

I listened to their steps, hits, breaths.

The world around me completely tuned out, there was no other melody in my ears than the song being played by the two monsters in the middle of the field.

**Now!**

I threw the kunai I had prepared, one flying far too close to Kimimaro but bypassing him nonetheless, his true target only just realizing the incoming attack.

Orochimaru smirked, amused that he indeed was caught off guard, forgetting about the third player. He bent his back, dodging both the kunai as well as Kimimaro's punch, however, neither I nor the Kaguya boy were finished.

Orochimaru had gotten out of rhythm, allowing him a mistake in his stance, something Kimimaro and I would take advantage of.

Throwing another two kunai soon after the first one was released, both heading in a horizontal line, closing on each other, completely ignoring the actual target, Kimimaro swiped his foot underneath Orochimaru, breaking his balance, only for the midair kunai to hit each other on that moment, changing both of their courses, one heading towards the sky, while the other was pushed forcefully towards the ground, gravity adding in its speed.

The kunai would hit Orochimaru's lying form point blank.

If only taijutsu was being involved.

Of course, that would not be the case, as the body switch jutsu was used, leaving a random tree trunk in his wake.

I clicked my tongue, displeased that an opening had been wasted, Orochimaru now once again aware of my presence.

And he was behind me.

I was too slow to react to his presence, his kick sending me flying in Kimimaro's direction. The boy was forced to retract his bones as he saw me flying to him far too fast for him to dodge. If he had kept his bones out, they would have injured me.

Kimimaro caught me barely, both of us on the ground, the speed I was thrown having momentarily added to my weight, throwing us both off balance.

Orochimaru did not waste time, already in front of us, ready to throw another kick. But even though we were slightly dazed, our senses were far too high from the initial attack, our body reacting on instinct, Kimimaro's cage bones out surrounding me as a form of shield while I threw eight kunai Orochimaru's direction, breaking his kick as he was forced to dodge each one of them.

Kimimaro retracted his bones, a slight nod on my side for the protection he provided me. No longer able to get back to distance as Orochimaru was hot on our heels, I switched to taijutsu, my daggers already in hand.

Kimimaro and I attacked in unison, both keeping a slight distance from one another but close enough to reach each other if the need arose.

As the fight progressed I could have easily taken back to distance, hiding back in the shadows to launch an attack, but decided against it, solely because I wished to be more involved into the fight rather than lay passively between trees or bushes waiting for an opening which would never come.

And besides, even though there were plenty of hick ups happening throughout the fight, where a miss launched attack from both I and Kimimaro would result in being used against us, as time went on our team work bettered, Orochimaru needing to often use ninjutsu to counter us, instead of only taijutsu as he usually did.

Of course, he was not the only one using ninjutsu, as I often used plenty of sound release jutsu, in particular, blast wave, which would force Orochimaru back where Kimimaro would be waiting with an attack to dish out.

Naturally, most of our attacks were blocked, dodged or simply redirected against us but what was different from our usual one on one fights, Orochimaru had no room to concentrate on anything else but us, which we considered a big step up.

And Kimimaro's defense was no longer simply limited to just him as he would often stretch out his bones or rib cage just to shield me from an attack I could no possibly dodge.

However, there was so many hits each of us could stand and our sparring session with Orochimaru was soon over.

At least over for Pedo Snake.

Though tired beyond reason, wishing for nothing more than to rest, we were giving a 15-minute breaktime before we were told to fight one another.

Unable to refuse or argue (especially after Orochimaru pinned me with that weird eye look which I honestly had no idea how to interpret), I was fighting once again, my injuries increasing as I was forced to fight a prodigy in taijutsu.

At least this opponent was not impossible to defeat.

Time went on and even that part of our training was over, my body aching from wounds as well as sore muscles. At the very least Kimimato had been careful enough to not cut me too deep with his bones.

The white haired boy was declared the winner of this fight, like in many of our other sparring sessions, leaving me once again as the sore loser that I was.

It sucked to be honest.

Sure, most of the time I would take my loss and use it as a motivation to do even better the next fight. But sometimes I felt like my progress was put into a halt. Like nothing I would do would ever reach the level of skill people born of talent would.

It was demotivating.

And I felt pretty demotivated right now.

It would be nice to have an overpowered skill just because nature said so, instead of having to grind myself up, learning jutsu after jutsu which at once point could never rival the truly powerful kekkei genkais.

I mean COME ON.

Give me a break! I just want to be recognized by the world! To be feared, hailed, looked up to.

Alas, it was not meant to be. And even though the spar was over, Orochimaru declaring training for today as done, I was yet to be freed.

For Orochimaru wanted to talk to me.

"Aika, I believe we have something to discuss."

Tired as I was, I simply nodded, holding my injured arm which I had sprained during my fight with Kimimaro, limping to Orochimaru's side.

I felt like shit.

Kimimaro said his goodbyes, knowing he was not welcome in this conversation, leaving me alone with Pedo Snake.

I slumped on the ground, no longer being able to stand straight, Orochimaru not caring.

"Would you like to tell me why you had a panic attack over something which should not affect you by any means."

I flinched, having no true answer to give.

I remained silent.

Orochimaru stared me down, the saliva in my throat thickening, making it that much more difficult to answer. He kneeled, touching my face far too gentle, his eyes the complete opposite of his touch.

"Child, answer my question."

I grit my teeth and looked away.

Orochimaru's gentle touch faded, his hand now gripping my hair tightly, forcing me to look his way.

He did not repeat his question, his gaze murderous.

"I… I…"

Though the fighting was over, the fear gripping me continued to fuel the adrenaline in my body.

I started chuckling, completely out of my mind, utterly refusing to state the truth.

Laughter soon filled the clearing, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks.

"How is it fair Orochimaru-sama?"

He looked at me confused.

"How is it fair, that people are simply born with talent, power, just about anything, while others have to struggle and sacrifice so much to try and reach that same level only to fail."

"The Uchiha, a clan with a dojutsu so powerful. Simply wiped out. By one. Only one sharingan user. ONE OF THEIR OWN!"

"A clan blessed with talent."

I looked down, my hair no longer in Orochimaru's grip.

"And all of them but three dead."

I laughed out loud, not even understanding myself for spouting out such nonsense. I was so afraid. So devastated. So demotivated. This whole situation was unfair. For there were so MANY of them with the fucking GOD EYE, only to die by the hand of a child.

"Don't you understand Orochimaru-sama?"

I looked him in the eye.

"They all were born with eyes so powerful, each of them could have taken on the WORLD. While I struggle here to keep up with people who were blessed with absolutely everything and wasted their talents."

"You believe yourself weak." Orochimaru stated.

I grinned.

"Aren't I?"

Silence.

"Compared to someone like Kimimaro, I am but a fly. Annoyingly buzzing in his ear. All my wins were flukes."

"Compared to you Orochimaru-sama, I can't even compare a sliver of my intelligence."

"Compared to Kabuto, I could never show that much refined skill in my field."

"My name lays no weight. I am Haruta Aika. From no renown clan, unlike the Uchiha, with no renown skills, unlike those blessed with kekkei genkais. Even the powers that I have acquired were given to me artificially."

What the hell was I saying?

"I am no prodigy."

I was but a girl, with far too much experience for my age due to a fluke in the universe.

"I am but a waste of time."

If I had never been reborn with memories, I would have wasted away as another Oto-nin, without anyone ever knowing about my name.

"A past time activity."

Not just to Orochimaru, but to the world itself.

This time, it was Orochimaru laughing.

"Child, I can not figure you out. One moment you brag about your prowess, how you are worth my time and now, you are throwing yourself away because you feel inferior to those born with superior powers."

I grit my teeth, not knowing what to feel.

I did not want to be inferior to anyone! But how could I ever prove my superiority when I was surrounded by people who showed me how far of my league they were.

"I think I understand."

My eyes widened, shocked of what he was saying.

"No matter how many jutsu I learn, I will never compare to those with a dojutsu which revolves around copying techniques."

"But I am far from inferior."

I shook my head, completely agreeing. Orochimaru? Inferior? Those words could not be used in the same sentence.

"I do not carry a clan's name and I do not need one. My skills are my own, all gathered through research, experimentations and of my own talent in adapting those skills. And my body is also not my own, having gone through plenty of modifications just as you."

Was he sympathizing with me?

"Stand up Aika-chan. I believe I understand why you felt the need to break down yesterday."

He… He did?

"I'm awaiting great things from you Aika-chan."

I looked at Orochimaru baffled.

I did not know if those kind words were a form of manipulation or truthful.

I wanted to believe they were true, even though I knew I could never trust this snake.

Nonetheless, I let myself be fooled by his kindness.

Maybe one day… I could tell Orochimaru the truth.

"I have a question Orochimaru-sama…"

He nodded, giving me the approval to ask.

"Those markings… Can I have… Can I be part of your clan?"

Because, I wished to belong in some way to his family. The hope he had given me, the home he had given me and the powers he had given me… It is more than anyone would have ever done for me this life as well as in my past.

I wanted to be part of his clan.

Orochimaru's eyes widened.

"These markings are a sign of the year I was born in. A tradition my family used to follow."

I looked at him confused.

"I was born on the year of the Snake"

The Chinese horoscope?

"I can give you the markings you wish for."

I nodded.

He lifted me off the ground, knowing that I could no longer keep myself straight.

Orochimaru played all his cards.

I could never betray him, no matter what cruelty he would bring upon me. Because he had given me everything I could have ever wished for.

What a crazy world I lived in.


	16. Dragon

Kabuto took a glance at us, his expression completely blank.

"Kimimaro was already here. His injuries were plenty but minor" he informed Orochimaru. Pedo Snake simply nodded as he slowly put me on one of the beds in the medic's room (which surprised me honestly), as Kabuto made his way by my side, his hands were already glowing green.

I stared at Kabuto really not knowing what to think of or do with him. I didn't have much knowledge on his character aside from the fact that he wasn't a likable one.

The spoilers, from what I could still remember from the years I had been alive in that other world, he had become some kind of master mind, perfecting sage mode and gaining some title with dragon in it (Dragon Sage? I think it was Dragon Sage?), only for Itachi and Sasuke to kick his ass and… make him good again?

I don't even know.

Though I knew Kabuto relied heavily on Orochimaru. At least up until Orochimaru's initial death, which is probably what caused him to go full on villain mode?

As I said, I honestly have no idea.

"Would you mind taking of your top?" The medic nin broke me out of my thoughts.

It took me a couple of seconds to realize what he had said to me, which in turn caused my eyes to go wide, my cheeks flushing in a deep pink color (which was very prominent seeing as my skin was pale as fuck) and I didn't know if I should be angry at him for even asking me that or simply crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.

"I need to check all your wounds and I believe your upper body is what suffered the most damage." He explained, expression as still as can be.

Well fuck me.

First, I have a psychotic break down in front of Orochimaru.

Somehow get Orochimaru to drop my panic attack topic over that Uchiha child by spewing some emotional shit which now looking back at it is so embarrassing I might as well die right here and now.

Fucking ask Orochimaru to be part of his family, which is absolutely insane and I obviously lost all my marbles in that moment.

I now, freaking worship this gods be damned Snake and would gladly lay my freaking LIFE for him, which I should be protesting with all my might but can't because fucking feelings.

And now.

Freaking Kabuto, best medic in the fucking ninja world, right hand of Orochimaru Kabuto, is asking me to strip, not just in front of him, but also in front of Orochimaru (despite the fact that Pedo Snake had already seen my naked body).

Why do I even want to keep living again?

With a defeated sigh, I started taking my top off, my arms healed well enough for the process to be less painful.

At least my body was still that of a child, so I had no cleavage to show.

I still felt insecure though…

And it felt so darned WEIRD to have him touch me. I mean, with Momoko I had absolutely no problem. She was a woman herself, so I was definitely less shy about showing my naked body and being touchy touchy. But Kabuto? A boy just starting puberty?

Yeah, no, this definitely made me feel beyond uncomfortable. This was "first real conversation with Orochimaru" level type of shit.

Oh god, I remember that conversation all too clearly.

_"Want to go for a walk with me?"_

I shuddered. Just the thoughts that had crossed my mind when he had said that. Gosh, I can't believe I actually like him now. I was plotting his death for god's sake and now I want to make sure he succeeds in whatever he wants to succeed? The Narutoverse will suffer greatly for this, I just know it. And I can't say I feel sorry for that…

Damn… I'm a horrible person.

"Her injuries are definitely worse than those of Kimimaro, but nothing serious either. However, I would recommend for her not to strain her body for the rest of the day." He stated, his eyes concentrated on my wounded body.

"That is alright, she will be undergoing a simple procedure this afternoon."

Kabuto as well as I furrowed our brows. Procedure?

"Procedure?" asked Kabuto.

"Nothing serious, I will be giving her chakra tattoos."

Ah. Oh… I'm getting them today already? But chakra tattoos? Chakra tattoos exist? What the hell are chakra tattoos anyways?

Meanwhile Kabuto looked at me strangely, obviously wondering why I'd be getting chakra tattoo's in the first place. And from Orochimaru's hand nonetheless.

"Mind if I ask what kind of chakra tattoo's she'll be getting Orochimaru-sama? And on which body part? It could interfere with her healing."

"Kabuto, do I look like I wouldn't know the consequences chakra tattoos would have on a healing wound?"

"Apologies Orochimaru-sama. However, as a medic I cannot jeopardize my patient's health. Unless, of course that is your intention. Though I'd question why you'd want to use such an unorthodox method when there are much better ways to cause injury."

"It's gonna be on the face Kabuto, around the eye area I believe. I doubt Orochimaru-sama wants to render me useless. He could have done that a long time ago" I elaborated since Pedo Snake obviously didn't want to.

Orochimaru nodded.

"The eye area… A very delicate place for chakra tattoos. Though why is Aika-san getting her chakra tattoos now? I would believe they are mostly done on infants when there is no chakra present to interfere. Should I be present for the initial inking?"

I looked back and forth from Kabuto to Orochimaru, wondering what the hell made chakra tattoos… well chakra tattoos. They obviously would be one way or another be linked to the chakra system.

Hmmmm… Maybe they were similar to Jiraya's tattoos? I mean, his "grew" with age. And they also got enhanced when he used sage mode. Hmmm… It does sound plausible to me.

"No need. It won't take long and you should know better than anyone that I never make mistakes in my procedures Kabuto."

Of course, the failures his victims suffered were left unsaid. Though, they weren't mistakes… Just errors in the formula I guess.

"Yes Orochimaru-sama."

"Aika, once Kabuto finishes healing you, come to room 200." Orochimaru said, however, just as he was about to leave the room, he stopped looking my way.

"Do you have a preferred color?"

Huh?

For the tattoo markings?

Ugh…

That's kind of a difficult question. I did not have a favorite color… Though I did prefer dark tones ones. Well, I guess that's my answer then.

"Anything that is dark in color. Maroon, midnight blue, eggplant, black and so on."

Orochimaru nodded and finally closed the door behind himself, leaving me completely alone with Kabuto.

The silence was awkward, neither of us comfortable with one another, especially since we did not have a good start (would I ever?). I looked around the room, trying to occupy my mind, but honestly, all I wanted to do was avoid any eye contact with Glasses here. His hands touching my body however were not helping.

I cleared my throat.

"So… You've known Orochimaru-sama for a while now I'm guessing?"

"Yes." Came his short answer.

"I'm guessing you won't elaborate on that?"

"No."

I vein popped at the side of my forehead.

"I'm just trying to make conversation!"

"Well, your efforts are not appreciated."

"Jerk!"

"I'd really be careful with your choice of words. I can hurt you just as easily as I can heal you. Orochimaru-sama would never know a difference and would hardly care." He threatened.

"What the hell went up your ass and died!?" I asked angrily.

He immediately gripped my wrist, healing long forgotten as he tightened his hold, pain shooting up my arm.

"I do not understand, why Orochimaru-sama is wasting his time with someone like you." His grip getting tighter and tighter, causing me to wince.

"You are loud, obnoxious and want to put your nose into everything. But, above all else, your skill level is just above average, nothing that should get Orochimaru-sama waste his time with _you_."

"You only met me two days ago!"

And seriously, those words coming out of his mouth were hitting a bit too close home. But why the hell was Kabuto being so mean? I didn't do anything to him except banter a little while we traveled.

He obviously had some type of problem with me.

"Have you seen me fight? Have you even _tried_ to interact with me on a friendly basis? What the fuck is your actual problem with me?"

"My problem is that Orochimaru-sama seems to value you more than you're actually worth!"

What the fuck? The hell does that have to do with anything?

Unless…

Unless Orochimaru talked about me to Kabuto.

Unless he told him everything about me, my weaknesses, my strength, my failures and my achievements.

Unless… Orochimaru was starting to trust me just as much as Kabuto.

Unless, he feared that I would initially take his place as Orochimaru's right hand.

"You are jealous?" I blurted out.

Crack!

My wrist was broken, causing me to howl in pain.

"Motherfucking BITCH!"

"The HELL you FUCKING BASTARD!"

I string of curses left my mouth, having suffered enough injuries for today, this was the pinnacle for this day.

I a fit of rage, I yanked my hand from his grip, shock in Kabuto's face, though I did not know if it was because of the fact that he had unwillingly broken my wrist, that I had actually managed to get out of his grip or from the colorful words leaving my mouth.

Though the initial pain of breaking had slightly toned down, I could feel numbness creep up my hand. Before I lost all feeling through my fingers I performed a string of hand seals, blasting Kabuto up a wall, shattering vials and dropping tools all over the ground.

"Listen you damned piece of SHIT! I don't fucking CARE that you got your pants in a twist because Orochimaru is showing _me_ favoritism. You don't get to fucking break my fucking wrist just because that SNAKE isn't showing you enough love!"

My mouth kept running as it completely bypassed my brain, honorifics cast aside and nick names which had been limited only on the inside of my mind exposed.

" _You_ don't get to tell me how much _I'm_ worth! It's Orochimaru who knows my value. It is _he_ who decides what is my worth. And you better LEARN not to cross your motherfucking LINE!

Now heal my fucking wrist and stop being a _child_!"

"And what gives you the right to tell me what to do? What gives you the right to forego honorifics even and what did you call Orochimaru-sama? A snake?"

"Seeing as you broke my wrist on a fucking whim just because I said something you didn't like, that gives me every damn right!" I of course ignored the question coming after, seeing as I had no answer to those. It was a slip on my part.

Kabuto grit his teeth, his eyes hidden by the reflection of his glasses.

His hands were once again glowing green, closing in the distance as he took my hand, not too gently, healing the damage he had caused.

"You won't be able to use this hand for any heavy damage, so I'd suggest avoiding it in combat, to not stress the healing bone."

"So much for not leaving any lasting damage." I spat out.

Kabuto simply glared.

My god was this going to be like a thing now? Meet new people, get them to hate me and then what? Become friends later on by some miracle? Do I even want to be friends with this piece of shit?

I can't actually believe that he is even jealous of ME? Why not jealous of Kimimaro? He was obviously Orochimaru's favorite child.

For fucks sake, kids, even with incredible IQ can be so fucking stubborn and STUPID sometimes.

As my wrist was mostly mended, he continued working on my other wounds which he had failed to heal out of his blind rage.

This time, I did not make any effort to break the silence. The air was thick with tension and it was obvious that we would like nothing more that to slit each other's throat.

Once he was done healing, I quickly dressed myself, wanting to leave the room as soon as I could. However, I did not leave without giving him my thanks. A dick he might be, but he still healed me (even though one of my worst injuries of today was caused by him).

I left the room, Kabuto refusing to look me in the face.

Well, fine by me, he can suck on a lollipop or whatever and mope over whatever it is that bit him the wrong way.

Fucking jerk.

**(To Love a Song)**

I reached room 200, still fuming over the fight I had with Kabuto. Just when I had thought the day would finally brighten up after that emotional and strangely bonding conversation with Orochimaru, he had to go and ruin it by being a fucking dick.

And my poor wrist had to also suffer from it, which now I had to be careful at using it, else I wanted to suffer permanent damage. And I'd rather not. I'm already behind as I am now.

Fucking dick.

Telling me I'm worthless.

Bitch.

Whore.

Sucker.

UGH!

It made me so ANGRY!

It's one thing for me to say I suck while having a psychotic breakdown, but him? Telling me I have no value?

It made me so MAD!

"It took longer for you to arrive than I expected Aika-chan."

"Ugh, apologies Orochimaru-sama, but there was a bit of a misunderstanding between me and Kabuto which caused us to get into an argument. Nothing you should concern yourself over of course."

Orochimaru raised a brow.

"Well, I have prepared the dye."

"Mind telling me which animal's markings I'll be getting Orochimaru-sama?"

"Well, from the year you were born in, your sign should have been the year of the Rabbit. However, due to the fact that your birth took place early January, that fact would change, making your date of birth year of the Dragon."

So, I'd be getting the marks of a dragon? Well, wasn't that absolutely AWESOME!

"How will they look like?" My eyes sparkled as I got excited over those wonderful news. At least some good was coming out of this day after all.

"Similar to mine. The Dragon and the Snake are closely related, the markings don't differ much from one another. The only difference is that the Dragon has got the addition of 5 dots, different sized, on each eye. They represent the 5 most notable differences between these two species."

"Confidence."

"Passion."

"Temper."

"Generosity."

"And Arrogance."

I nodded, awed by this explanation.

These tattoos weren't just some artful decorations you put on your body, like many in my other world did. No, these represented culture, emotion and the connection between people. And it would connect me to Orochimaru. As part of the clan I had chosen to join. As Orochimaru's clan. Even if Orochimaru himself did not see himself as part of a clan.

He would be mine.

"Now, chakra tattoos, as Kabuto said earlier, are usually performed when the chakra coils are yet to be developed. That is so because the ink of chakra tattoos is directly connected with the chakra system, accessing chakra flow and familiarizing with it as the child's chakra system grows.

However, for adults, that procedure is quite different as the chakra system has already matured and will react badly to something new trying to feed off of their supplies so to speak. It will try to reject the connection the chakra tattoo wants to form, however, due to the ink acting similar as in on paper doing fuinjutsu, it will force the system to accept its intrusion.

The procedure will be painful. And it will ache for a couple of days as the ink tires to settle in. However, pain is no stranger to you Aika-chan and you have suffered far worse."

I gulped at the mention of pain. But I truly did want those tattoos. I wanted to be marked in some way. And I had asked for this.

"Why do chakra tattoo's require chakra in the first place Orochimaru-sama?" I asked.

"They are a form of showing growth. It is why many clans utilize them. The more the tattoo grows, the stronger you should have become. It's a way to measure power in form of ink."

I nodded.

The pain did put me a little off to be honest. But I would go through this.

And so, with a needle in hand and a bowl full of a dark bluish ink, Orochimaru started painting around my eye area, focusing chakra in each puncture he created.

Yes.

It was extremely painful.

It actually felt similar to the pain I had felt when he had changed the nature of my chakra coils. But, of course not nearly as harsh. It was like a dulled version of it. And though I did sometimes let a cry out when he hit a particularly bad spot with the needle, I endured it. I endured it because the reward, I believed, was far more worth it than the pain I felt. Just like the reward of my powers.

And, as the saying goes:

No pain, no gain.

And I wanted to gain. To gain a lot more than I already had. And I would endure all the pain headed my way if it meant to reach each and every one of my goals.

And Orochimaru…

He would be right in the center of it.

**(To Love a Song)**

The procedure did not last long. Each eye had taken one hour at a time and I finally had my tattoos. I gripped the mirror tightly as I observed my face.

The green in my eyes was amplified by the dark color Orochimaru had used for the tattoos. They were similar to his. Almost identical. Maybe the length running down the inner corned of my eye towards my nose was a bit shorter than his, but it was probably because oh Orochimaru's growth in strength which had lengthened his tattoos.

Mine would grow with time as well.

I was sure of it.

The dots were a nice touch. The thickest one right at the edge of the corned of my eye as the rest grew smaller and smaller down the line. It made me look special. It made me _feel_ special.

Like a face which could be recognized on sight. Just as Tsunade, Orochimaru and Jiraya's would. Because they were so distinct from every other shinobi in the world.

I smile graced my lips, happiness filling my stomach.

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama!" And I had never expressed a more genuine gratitude in all my existence as I did now.

The pain had truly been worth it.

Orochimaru simply laughed.

"I did not believe I would ever continue this tradition. Do not disappoint me Aika-chan."

"I won't Orochimaru-sama!"

For I might consider myself worthless right now. But so long as Orochimaru could see potential in me, so long as he said I had value, I would take his words over mine and live by them just as I was doing now.

I would not disappoint him.

Not a second time.

**(To Love a Song)**

Excited over my new markings, the ache throbbing on my face but I couldn't care any less, I went to Kimimaro's room, excited to show him my Dragon tattoos.

With a polite knock I waited for him to invite me in.

The reaction of Kimimaro as he observed my face was that of shock, which caused me to crack a confident smirk.

"Do you like my tattoo's Kimimaro-kun!"

"A… Aika-san? When…? How…?" The boy was speechless.

Because at that moment, I did not realize how much I resembled Orochimaru to him.

"I asked Orochimaru-sama for them. I got them a few hours ago. They look awesome no?"

"I… Yes, they suit you quite well Aika-san." Kimimaro smiled kindly.

"Thanks!"

And just like that I went on and on explaining the meaning of the tattoos, just as Orochimaru had explained to me. Kimimaro listened patiently, adding a few words here and there, but generally remaining in silence as was his custom.

But Kimimaro would not be the only one seeing Orochimaru at the sight of my face.

The next time I would see Kabuto, all hell would break lose.


	17. Truth Comes to Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit difficult to write. Kabuto's character is so very complicated and add it with the fact that he is young, in the middle of puberty and all that jazz... It was a nightmare to write x.x I hope I did him at least a little bit justice.
> 
> P.S.: I apologize for any grammatical errors v.v

Training the next day went similar to the previous one… Ok, no, that was a total lie. I'm just trying to make myself feel better here.

Due to my healing wrist, thanks to a certain person who fancied wearing glasses, my aim with my right hand, my dominant hand I might add, was slightly off, meaning I was a fucking failure in this sparring session. And adding the fact that my face was basically throbbing due to the pain of my chakra tattoos, which had yet to settle in, my concentration was also not the best.

In short. I sucked.

So yeah. This sparring session I got my ass handed to me quite violently. And in turn, Kimimaro also got injured worse than normal because I couldn't give him my full support. Not that he blamed me for that, on the contrary. He saw it as his own failing.

Either way, it would take me weeks to get these bruises to heal off of my ass, cause in no way possible was I letting Kabuto heal my freaking butt cheeks. Kimimaro would most likely have no qualms for that.

Once Orochimaru was done torturing us in the most creative ways, he bid Kimimaro and I goodbye, retreating to his laboratory as always, leaving us alone to take care of the mess that was the training field. And seeing as yesterday no one bothered to clean it up, today we had to do double the work.

Meaning, we had to postpone our healing.

At the very least we had each other.

Battered and bruised as we were, we cleaned up the field as quick as we could so that we could return to Kabuto to get the major wounds healed and I maybe get a slave or something to numb my face.

Seriously, even though we were both happy to have Orochimaru back with us, the man knew no mercy when it came to training.

"Remind me again why we admire him so much?" I broke the silence.

"Aika-san, you know well enough why Orochimaru-sama is worthy of admiration." Came Kimimaro's so not helpful reply.

"Just… Just humor me ok? The pain I'm feeling every inch of my body is making me forgetful" This answer made Kimimaro chuckle. How in the holy hell did he even find the energy to chuckle? Honestly, I wanted nothing more than to lie on the ground and sleep the pain away.

"And your tattoos? Shouldn't they be a big enough reminder?"

"THAT… is totally true, but it's not like I can see my own face, so I'm not entirely aware of their presence on my face yet… except for the pain of course, but the pain is what's making me forgetful in the first place."

"Aika-san, we have yet to clean up half of the field… Is it really smart to have this conversation right now?"

I sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm annoying you with my meaningless words and you just want to finish in peace and quiet, so you don't have to suffer my presence for any longer" I said in an overly dramatic fashion.

"Aika-san, that is not… That's not what I meant when I…" poor Kimimaro however, could not distinguish when I was cracking up a joke and when I was being serious, his tone awkward, trying to mend the misunderstanding (which wasn't a misunderstanding in the first place).

"Relax, Kimimaro-kun. I was just messing with you."

A sigh of relief escaped him, which honestly made me smile. Our relationship had come so far since we had first met. It was nice to know that Kimimaro actually valued our friendship.

"Say Aika-san…"

"Hm?"

"Why did you decide to get the tattoos?" His tone awkward.

The question caught me off guard. Yesterday we had spent the entire afternoon discussing my tattoos, what they meant, why they differed from Orochimaru's, how they functioned, what they meant to me.

But not once had I mentioned why I got them.

Partially because I did not want to look pathetic in front of Kimimaro. My reasons weren't very noble, strong in any way. It was out of desperation. Of wanting somewhere to belong. To have a legacy to look up to, to reach.

Did I truly want to tell him that?

It would make me vulnerable.

I unconsciously touched my face, my eyes throbbing in pain.

"You don't need to tell me." Came his answer.

I smiled slightly.

"Maybe another time Kimimaro-kun… When honorifics aren't e necessity for us to use for one-another."

Kimimaro simply nodded.

The rest of the field was cleaned in silence except for my occasional humming.

**(To Love a Song)**

"Kimimaro-kuuuuuuun" I whined as I leaned heavily on Kimimaro's back, my arms draped over his shoulders.

"Aika-san, do I have to remind you the Orochimaru-sama did not leave me unscathed either?"

"But you are so much better off than me! Do I have to show you my stomach? My thigh? My back? It's a myriad of colors! Black, blue, red, yellow, purple, pink! You name it! It's really painful!"

"Aika-san, if you would just let me go and head back to the base, we'd be getting healed by now!"

"Carry me!"

"No." Came his emotionless reply.

I acted truly offended.

"You can be so heartless Kimimaro-kun!"

"Aika-san, you were able to clean this whole field with the same wounds, you don't need me to carry you!"

"Pleaseeeeee!"

"Aika-san"

"Pretty pleeeeasssseeeee!"

His simply pushed me off his back, causing me to fall ass first on the ground.

"You're just as cruel as Orochimaru-sama!" I accused him.

His reply to that was just a simple smile.

I stood up, rubbing my aching ass cheeks, wincing in pain, and went to follow the cruel being which had sold his soul to the devil… Not that I was any better, but still!

At the very least we made our way to the medics room, I, of course, complaining the whole road, only for us to open the door and to find the room to be empty.

Great.

Just as I thought I'd be finally getting relief from all the pain inflicted on me the past few hours, the only salvation to my wounds and bruises wasn't even in their supposed destination.

Kabuto that asshole better be doing something freaking important or he'd have to experience what it feels like to have one's balls castrated! Or still I passed out from the amount of throbbing that I was experiencing in my entire body, whichever came first.

As if on cue, the moment I had finished those thoughts, Kabuto entered the room, looking as bored as ever. He had some vials with him, inside unknown substances which I really had no interest in knowing what they actually were. I had an inkling that they had something to do with Orochimaru's experimentations.

His eyes were downcast, though obviously aware of our presence. He went to his desk, putting down the vials carefully before turning his attention to the people present in the room.

"Good day, Kabuto-san" greeted Kimimaro, polite as ever.

I didn't really bother giving the same courtesy as he was wholly undeserving of it. Not with the bratty way he had acted yesterday. I know it was petty of me to do so, steeping to childish banter, but I was angry ok! A lot of the bruises I had gotten today were his fault!

"Hello Kimimaro-kun" and he obviously also ignored my existence, which I was totally fine with. I even returned the glare he gave me when he finally decided that my presence was worthy of his sight. Though that glare did not last long.

His face became alarmingly stiff, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

It took me a second to understand what brought the sudden change in expression, but the ache around my eyeballs easily reminded me of the reason.

He had noticed my tattoos.

"What are those?" His tone freezing.

That… made me smirk.

"Those are my tattoos Kabuto-kun. The ones Orochimaru-sama gave me yesterday and you offered to be present at? Or have you forgotten already?" I said in an overly cheerful manner.

"Why did Orochimaru give _you_ a replica of his markings?"

Petty as I was, I, of course, would tell him exactly what he did not want to hear.

"Orochimaru-sama thought I was worthy to carry his markings of course. The tattoos are given to family members you see. They represent the year a child is born to. I was born in the year of the dragon, thus the tattoos. They suit me, no?"

My face was entirely smug. I had completely forgotten that Kimimaro was also in the same room with me, listening in on our conversation.

And I had also forgotten that he knew for a fact that that was not the reason. Because I had told him in a very cheerful and over excited manner that I had asked Orochimaru-sama to give me the tattoos and that he had agreed.

But above all those, he knew that Orochimaru would have never given me these tattoos out of his own accord even if I had not told him so. Not with the way I was now. Weak, helpless, barely genin level.

But Kimimaro would not say a word.

Because he truly did not care about Kabuto, his opinion as well as his position as Orochimaru's henchman, completely irrelevant to him, so long as he got to be Orochimaru's vessel. Not that I was going to allow that to happen. Not if I could do something about that.

But most importantly, he would not breathe a word, because he was _my_ friend.

He remained silent.

Kabuto did not.

He screamed in rage, lunged forward, ready to gut me, his hands glowing. And with the condition I was in, he would have well achieved that, if not for Kimimaro's fast reflexes, jumping in front of me, bones shielding both me and him from the threat.

My eyes were blown wide, not having expected this type of strong reaction from Kabuto. I thought he would be angry. Yell at me. Refuse to heal me, just be childish in general. He should have been aware, better than any of us, that Orochimaru would never just simply give me markings because he thought I was worthy.

If I had been truly worthy of something of this caliber, that Orochimaru would go as far as to offer _me_ , then I wouldn't be just another henchman. I would be listed as his next vessel.

So why? Why did he see me as such a big threat?

What caused Kabuto's character to harbor such loathing for me, just because I appeared to be Orochimaru's favorite? For him to actually believe my petty lie?

"Kimimaro, step aside…" The words were said in an icy manner.

"Kabuto-san, you do realize that such an action would not be condemned by Orochimaru-sama right?"

At that moment, as if the gods were laughing at us, Orochimaru entered the room, unaware of the conflict happening between his three students.

As he watched the position we were all in, I pathetically hiding behind Kimimaro, Kimimaro protecting me with Shikotsumyaki and Kabuto attacking like a rabid dog.

"What is the meaning of this? Kabuto?"

Kabuto retreated the moment Orochimaru's voice broke through, his head tilted to the side, eyes hidden behind the reflection of his glasses.

I could feel my lungs once again fill with air, unaware that I had been holding my breath.

"I apologize Orochimaru-sama. I lost my temper."

Orochimaru raised a brow.

Hell, I raised a brow!

I mean, I knew he was young. He couldn't be older than 13, at most 14. But him losing his temper this easily? To a lie he could have easily seen through none the less? Kabuto was supposed to be this calculating character, intelligent and calm! What rubbed him so wrong that caused him to go bat shit INSANE on me? Come on, 4 to 5 years couldn't have pissibly made THAT HUGE of a difference to his character?! He used to be in fucking root for fucks sake, those people were born and bred to be emotionless pieces of shit!

Was his position at Orochimaru's side that important? Was I truly that big of a threat to that?For his stone cold mask to actually slip? Or had I perceived his character completely wrong?

And if he had truly valued Orochimaru this much, why did he not gut Sasuke in the series when he killed Pedo Snake? He was awfully calm as far as I could remember. What the actual fuck was wrong with him? Did I have a natural charm to piss people off to the point of murder or something?

Gosh, if only I had paid more attention to his character in the series, maybe then I would not be stuck in this situation.

"Kabuto, you don't just simply lose your temper." Orochimaru clarified. Kabuto did not answer.

Orochimaru looked at me.

He was waiting for me to give an answer.

"Ugh… um… I might have provoked him Orochimaru-sama." I tried to explain, stammering over my words.

"And what could have possibly said or done to provoke him Aika-chan?" Did I hear amusement in his voice?

"Um… I might have twisted the truth a bit… about my tattoos…"

Kimimaro snorted.

I lightly punched him on the arm.

Orochimaru once again raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for me to elaborate.

"Um… I told him that you were the one who gave me the tattoos… out of your own accord instead of me asking for them… As a form of reward…" My head was cast down, ashamed of myself. I was a 27 mentally year-old woman for fucks sake… And here I was, playing petty games with a boy barely having started puberty, lying about something I really had no right to even twist in the slightest manner.

I could feel the air around me tighten, Orochimaru displeased by this information, all amusement lost.

"And why would you say that Aika?" the -chan having been dropped. Meaning shit just got serious.

Fuck.

"I was pissed at him. He has some kind of bone to pick with me and I simply returned this animosity just as viciously. Most of my wounds today are his fault anyways." I tried to defend myself, words pouring out as fast as I could manage.

I was so ashamed of myself as I listened to my own words. I was a 27-year-old woman, for fucks sake, and here I was playing petty games with a child barely having reached puberty.

I could hear my heart hammering in my chest, knowing that I had really fucked up with this.

"Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked.

"I broke her wrist Orochimaru-sama. It's still healing."

Pedo Snake sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"And why might I ask, did you break Aika's wrist?"

Kabuto looked at me. I looked at him.

Honestly, at that moment I wanted nothing more than to just rat him out. To tell Orochimaru that he was jealous. That he felt threatened. Threatened of me taking his position by his side. I wanted to be mean and just completely destroy any good grace he had with Orochimaru.

But I didn't.

I was an adult. I needed to act like one… when the situation asked for it anyways. And right now, it was not the time to be childish.

"Words were said, actions were taken and mistakes were made. We will resolve this problem between ourselves Orochimaru-sama. There is no need for you to get involved in our childish banter."

Kabuto's eyes widened.

"This _banter_ got you almost gutted Aika-san." Interrupted Kimimaro.

I smiled kindly at him.

"Well, I'm still alive and kicking thanks to you Kimimaro-kun." Dragging his name in ab overly sweet manner.

Orochimaru continued rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"See to it that such a situation never happens again. I don't have time to deal with childish bickering."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama" Kabuto and I said simultaneously.

"Now, I actually came here to take back one of the samples I gave you. I believe there might have been a mix-up."

"They are right over there." Kabuto pointed.

"Sorry to interrupt but, Kimimaro and I have kind of been waiting for quite a while now to get our wounds healed. I don't suppose you need Kabuto-kun for much longer right Orochimaru-sama?" I asked.

"Go ahead, Kabuto-kun. And this time, I'd prefer it if you used your medical skills to heal instead of hurt."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

**(To Love a Song)**

After that experience, Kimimaro and I finally got out wounds healed, and I could feel myself breath again to a certain degree. I felt spent and with all the drama in the medical room, I really wanted to just go to my room and get some well-deserved sleep.

Alas, I could not do so just yet. I had promised Orochimaru that I would mend this ridiculous hate between Kabuto and me and that's what I was going to do.

"Kimimaro-kun, I'm gonna stay behind. I believe Kabuto and I have a lot of things to talk about."

Kabuto did not show any indication that he had heard what I had said, even though I was pretty sure that he had, whereas Kimimaro simply looked at me for a few seconds before speaking.

"You sure I should leave you both alone?"

"Awwww, are you worriiiieeeeed!"

"I'll be seeing you later then." Was his reply.

I pouted.

"So cold."

"Goodbye Aika-san, Kabuto-kun."

The door closed.

I sat down on one of the beds available, watching as Kabuto cleaned his equipment quietly, no indication that he was going to start any type of conversation with me. We remained in silence for a few minutes, nothing but the occasional cling of the metallic items bumping on one another.

It was obvious that Kabuto would not be the one to open his mouth first… Well, I guess it was all on me then.

"So… Care to tell me what is so hateful and threatening about myself that you feel the need to gut me every chance I get to open my mouth?"

Kabuto slowly put the item he had in his hand down, his eyes finally on me. He sighed.

"Am I supposed to pour my heart now to you and be all buddy-buddy because this whole thing turned out to be a huge misunderstanding?"

I blinked, taken aback by his bluntness as well as tone.

"That… is actually a great idea," sarcasm layered thickly.

Kabuto glared.

"Well, ok sorry, I'm gonna be serious now, though I do expect the same from you."

"Fine."

I nodded.

"Do you truly believe that this is a misunderstanding? I mean, you clearly see me as a threat to something. I just don't know what that something is? It would honestly be great if you'd bother to clear that up you know? I'd prefer to not have a repetition of today. And you do know that Orochimaru-sama will be very displeased if this continues. We're supposed to be on the same team here."

"Since when did you decide to be the mature one? Up till a few minutes ago you were alright with spouting petty lies just to tile me up" He asked annoyed.

"Well, to be fair, you were a fucking ass since day one. Of course, I was going to want to anger and piss you off in any way I could since you were doing the same to me!"

Silence.

"Are you going to tell me now or not? What the fuck did I do for you to hate me anyways? And don't think I didn't notice how you kept bickering with me over the silliest things. You obviously know more about me than I do about you. So, spill it Glasses, I really don't have time for this bullshit. Either you tell me, or we get Orochimaru-sama involved. And neither of us want that now, do we?"

" _The reason_ _why_ I see you as a threat is that Orochimaru-sama seems to think far too highly of you. I believe I told you so before."

"Yes, yes, but _why_ do you believe that? Do you even know half the things I can do? Have you seen the countless papers of research I've gone through? All the work I've documented, developed, am developing? Have you seen the progress I've made since I started under Orochimaru-sama's tutelage? Do you even know about the hard work I invested to even reach this sliver of power I have gained?"

Kabuto's face morphed, his expression almost guilty.

"It's almost as if Orochimaru-sama is increasing your position in ranks!" He explained.

"Orochimaru-sama has ranks?"

"Wha…? No! I meant that he was giving you far more time than he usually does with pupils he takes slight interest in. You aren't even a candidate for a vessel!"

My eyes widened. Was Kabuto even allowed to tell me about Orochimaru's vessels? Neither Pedo Snake nor Kimimaro have ever breathed a word about that simple fact around me.

And what did he mean by giving me far more time than his usual pupils? I worked fucking hard to keep his attention on me thank you very much!

Well, either way, this is as good of an opportunity as I was gonna get to have myself filled in on every detail. This time, officially of course, so I might as well use it.

"Well, doesn't the same apply to you then? Orochimaru clearly holds you in high regards! He even includes you in his experimentations with what I've gathered. So what is so strange about him doing the same with me? And what the hell do you mean by vessel?"

"Of course, those don't apply to me, I'm not just some pupil to Orochimaru-sama! And you know exactly what I mean by vessel, Kimimaro is basically training to get his body ready for Orochimaru-sama to use."

"So, what, you're afraid that I'm gonna take your special position from Orochimaru-sama?" I ignored the second part, feeling highly uncomfortable how wrong it sounded out of context. And right now, I was supposed to have no idea about the whole vessel thing.

"YES!" Kabuto screamed in rage.

"Dude, calm down! Holly shit, what the fuck, what's so important on that position anyways? It's not even an official one! And it's not like I'm deliberately trying to steal your fucking position from him! On the contrary, I am trying to make a position of my own!"

"It's my entire identity, that's why it's so important!"

"I… identity?"

What?

The room was engulfed in silence, Kabuto out of his seat, looking down on me as he stood on his feet.

"Kabuto, what the hell are you talking about? A position can't possibly give you an identity! It's the person who gives the position value, not vice versa!"

"You don't understand! You have never had your identity robbed from you!"

It took me a few second… to process what he was talking… and then I laughed.

Me?

ME?

Not know what it is like to have your ENTIRE identity taken away from you?

I fucking DIED and was given a clean slate to work with! To build from scratch! My former identity was completely erased from existence!

But that wasn't something I could say.

But I had plenty of other things to use to bring my point across.

"YOU STUPID FUCK! I was taken away, over _one year_ ago, from my parents, my family! My life as I had known was erased in a matter of seconds! And you say I don't know what's it like to lose an identity?"

Kabuto stared in shock.

"I'm basically building from scratch here! But you know what? I don't fucking care! I'm building a new persona. A better face for people to recognize. A position is NOT what will give me an identity.

My name is Haruta Aika. Student of one of the three Sannins, Orochimaru, part of the Snake Sannins clan, specialized in sound ninjutsu and developing my own techniques as I go! I am friends with Kaguya Kimimaro and am at odds with Yakushi Kabuto! That is my identity you dumb brick! And though no one out of this base might know me, my identity remains. Because it is MY identity. It is what I consider as myself!

Why the hell did you even assume that a fucking position gives you an identity? WHERE do you even hear something so monumentally STUPID! I though you were supposed to be some kind of _genius_?"

Kabuto's hands trembled.

"What do _you_ know about identities!" He spat, clearly in denial

"Then tell me Kabuto! TELL ME? What is SO identifying on a position?"

"It gives you purpose! It gives you a title! It gives you something to live up to! That is what an identity is supposed to be!"

"An identity is supposed to make you unique! It's your past, present, and future! A position is something ANYONE could take. It can in no way be an identity to anyone!

If you need a purpose in life, then you find one yourself and not let a position dictate it for you, unless the goal of that position and yours intertwine! And you already have a title you idiot! Every person has at least one title! It's their own freaking name! YOUR title is Yakushi Kabuto! It's the one thing everyone will recognize you with!

Nothing and no one can give you ANYTHING to live up to! You choose what you wanna live for? Which ties you wanna keep, you wanna protect!

Life is what makes an identity Kabuto! You already have one, so what are you so afraid of losing? The only time an identity is truly lost is upon death!"

And boy, did I not know that.

Kabuto was left in shock, not knowing what to say.

"So, tell me Kabuto. Who are you? What is your identity?"

"I… I don't know…"

I smacked him.

"Of course, you freaking know! You're Yakushi Kabuto! Medic-nin, super smart genius, right hand of Orochimaru! And you're currently having an identity crisis! For fucks sake Kabuto pull yourself together! THINK what you like best! What you would like to do? Think first and foremost for yourself and then take into consideration what the people you care for want from you! Now tell me!"

"I… I'm Yakushi Kabuto… An orphan… Former nin of Konohagakure. I am specialized in medical ninjutsu… Which I was taught from Nano Yakushi… my former adoptive mother… Whom I killed… Who did not recognize me… Currently… Currently I am working under Orochimaru-sama… And… I don't know what I want…"

"Well, it's a start I guess… You seem to have had a tough life there… Sorry about what happened with you and your mother…But she isn't in your life anymore Kabuto. You can't let her rule your decisions and mind forever. You believe you lost your identity because she did not recognize you right?"

The poor boy was broken. He simply nodded.

"See, that's where you're wrong Kabuto. So long as you remember yourself, then you never truly lost your identity. And if in case that you forget yourself, others will be there to either remind you of who you were, or help you form a new one.

Nano Yakushi was your beginning. But her demise does not mean your end. Think about the things you like. You like using medical ninjutsu right? So, you use it. You incorporate that to your identity. You admire Orochimaru-sama no? Then you look up to him, aspire to do greater things just like him. Help him, be by his side, not because you feel like he gives you an identity, but because you want to!

Think for yourself. And then think of others."

Kabuto slumped down in his seat.

I looked at him wordily. He looked utterly broken. Like his entire life had been a lie… Well, it might as well have been. He thought a position is what gave him an identity!

Poor boy. His psyche was completely off the rocker.

I only hoped that my words helped him in finding the path he needed.

Silently, I left the room. I did not utter goodbye, as I did not want to shake his thoughts.

He had a lot to ponder on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... as is custom for Kabuto, he is having an identity crisis and a psychotic breakdown far too early thanks to Aika opening her mouth xD Oh man, I don't even know how Orochimaru will react to this lol.


	18. Behind Glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid this is going to be a very short chapter in comparison to the others. Have been battling writer's block for the past month honestly. Hope you enjoy this little chappie. It's in Kabuto's POV btw.

My world had once again been shattered, torn to pieces and burnt to ashes… Left for me to put it back together so that I could at least distinguish left from right, up from down, have a sense of direction. Because right now I was completely lost.

A question that had plagued me almost my entire life was a simple one.

Who am I?

Many, when presented with this question would not hesitate to answer, always sure of themselves. Their name, their origin, their affiliation, the things they like and dislike. And they would always be recognized by the people they loved. No doubt in who or what they were.

But for me… it was the most complicated question one could present me with.

One could ask me numerous scientific questions, complicated, impossible to solve even, and I have no doubt finding an answer to those question was an easier task than finding the answer to this cursed question that plagued my life.

Because the one who had given me an identity, the one who I had believed held the answer to my question had not recognized me till her very last breath. Refusing to give me peace, taking her answer to the grave.

I clutched my head in my hands, gripping my hair, the pain I felt a welcome distraction from the emotional turmoil I found myself in.

Haruta Aika.

The person solely responsible for my broken condition, came into my life like an unwelcome echo, never ending. First threatening the piece of identity I had built for myself, gripped tightly to not lose my sanity. And then… With a few carefully said words… or maybe they were carelessly tossed at me, she crashed my entire resolve, said that the identity I had given myself was not an identity at all.

She stripped me of all I had built in a matter of minutes.

_I am Yakushi Kabuto…_

_I am a medic nin…_

It did not feel right… Saying those words in my mind. Repeating them. It did not feel like they were giving me a measure of control over who I was.

Something was missing in this identity I was trying to grasp. It wasn't enough. It did not define me the way it should.

This was not my identity.

Not my full one.

But what could I be missing?

Aika's words echoes into my mind, unwelcome and welcome at the same time.

_So long as you remember yourself, then you never truly lost your identity._

But I did not remember myself… I had come into this world with my memories wiped… never returning.

_If in case that you forget yourself, others will be there to remind you._

And yet the one who had given me this identity could not remind me of who I was when I needed it most. No one could tell me who I was.

No one.

 _And if they can't help you to remind yourself, then other will help you build a new one_.

But hadn't Orochimaru been the one to help me build my new identity? And yet her words told me that the thing I considered to me myself wasn't my identity at all.

_Nano Yakushi was your beginning. But her demise does not mean your end._

I shook my head trying to get her words out of my head. They were not helping. Not helping at all! They just kept confusing me further and further. Driving me to my lowest low. The darkest pit I had fallen as of yet.

She had successfully destroyed what I had built, leaving me in the shambles of what I thought to be me. No matter how I tried to put the pieces together, they would not fit.

_Think about the things you like._

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I LIKE!"

I shouted at the empty room, breathing hard.

"Who am I? What am I? Who is my family? Who are my friends? What do I like? What do I dislike?"

I kept asking and asking.

But there was no one to answer.

No one but myself.

"I don't know…" My voice was shaking.

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I DON'T KNOW!"

I was going mad in my lonesome. This room far too confining, making me feel far too claustrophobic.

I needed to get out.

I slammed the door open and ran out of the room as fast as I could, seeking the forest for some much-needed air and open space.

I steps slowed down as I remained in the middle of the clearing, trees surrounding me.

I looked up to the sky, several shades of red, orange and purple painting the atmosphere as the darkness approached. The sky looked just as confused as I was, not knowing in which color to settle in.

I felt tears run down my cheeks.

Who am I?

Why must this question be so difficult for me to answer. Was I overthinking things? Maybe the answer has been glaring me in the face my entire life and I simply could not see it.

I took my glasses off to wipe my tears.

"TELL ME WHO I AM!" I yelled at the confused sky.

_You like medical ninjutsu don't you?_

Her words once again found their way into my mind.

"Shut up!"

_Don't you?_

"I said SHUT UP!"

_Don't you?_

But the words kept repeating themselves.

"I…"

_Don't you?_

"I don't know…"

The sky was now engulfed by darkness, finally settling for one color.

The sky had found its answer.

I had yet to find mine.

_You like medical ninjutsu don't you?_

The question once again echoes in my mind.

"It was a legacy Nano-san had given to me. Something she was good at. Something I was good at. She made medical ninjutsu fun."

I answered to the sky, as if trying to prove myself that I to could find an answer to my impossible question.

_You admire Orochimaru-sama right?_

I was surprised when her voice decided to take on a different question. As if telling me I had finally given the right answer.

"I… don't know…"

_Right?_

It would not take it as an answer.

_Right?_

"Y…Yes… I… I do admire him…" I sighed in defeat.

_Then you look up to him, aspire to do greater things just like him._

I stared blankly at the nothingness. Me… doing great things just like Orochimaru? When I was but a nobody?

But, was I?

_You're Yakushi Kabuto! Medic nin, super smart genius, right hand of Orochimaru!_

Super smart genius huh… Maybe I could achieve great things… just like Orochimaru-sama.

_Help him, be by his side, not because you feel like he gives you an identity, but because you want to!_

Be by his side because… I want to?

_You admire Orochimaru-sama right?_

"I do!"

 _Be by his side_ _not because you feel like he gives you an identity, but because you want to!_

But I don't know what I want!

_Liar!_

I was taken aback when the word was said in my voice rather than in that of Aika's, as she had been the one echoing inside my mind.

I started laughing. Laughing because the voices kept getting louder and lauder in my head, asking question after question, answering each of them, the voices clashing, yelling in desperation. I could feel my sanity slip by the moment.

"Kabuto?"

"What Orochimaru's voice joining the party as well?" My voice was flat and mirthless, as the situation kept getting more and more ridiculous.

Maybe what I needed wasn't someone else to find the answers for me… But to search them on my own. My head felt like a complete and utter mess.

"Kabuto, what are you doing here?"

I turned around.

Orochimaru stood across me, his head slightly tilted.

"O…Orochimaru-sama…" I felt the voices in my head go quiet.

"What are you doing here?"

I looked at him wide eyes, my head completely void of voices.

Clear.

What was I doing here? A simple question I had no answer to.

What was I doing here when I still did not know what I wanted for myself? Why was I by Orochimaru-sama's side when I was in such a broken state? How could I help this man aspire to greater things when I could even help myself?

_Think for yourself. And then think for the others._

Aika's voice gave me the answer.

"I… Orochimaru-sama… I think I need to leave…" I looked up at him, having not been aware I had been facing the ground. The words that came out of my mouth had completely bypassed my brain. A scenario which never happened to me.

Never.

Orochimaru said nothing. He simply looked at me, his expression sharp and serious. At that moment he reminded me very much of a snake evaluating his prey before seizing it.

And I was that prey.

"I need to leave Orochimaru-sama…" I kept saying. However, the words were not just to convince Orochimaru-sama, but also myself of this decision. Of this decision I was sure I needed to follow. Even though I knew the stupidity and risks this decision would have.

My mental state was very unstable right now. I could recognize as much. Leaving me alone without supervision could be the worst decision I could possibly make. Either make me or break me.

But I felt like I needed to go away from civilization. Isolate myself. See the world and in turn myself.

And maybe then… I would finally have the answer to this painful question.

_Be by his side, not because you feel like he gives you an identity, but because you want to!_

I wanted to follow those words. And if I kept clinging to Orochimaru-sama, to anyone honestly, my identity would forever rely on another person instead of myself.

And I could not afford to keep losing my path if something happened to the one who currently held the identity I'd be clinging to. Not the way it happened with Nano…

"I… I don't know who I am Orochimaru-sama. I need to find out! And I'm afraid… if I keep being by your side, I will never have my answer…" I explained.

"How come you made this decision now Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru-sama looked very displeased.

I bit my lip unsure of how to answer.

I was afraid… afraid that Orochimaru-sama would not let me leave… never leave.

"Aika-san… brought up some points that I had never considered…" I decided to say.

"Aika?" Honest surprise in his expression as well as voice.

I nodded in turn.

Silence surrounded us. My nervousness rose by the second, anticipating the words which would decide my entire life.

"And for how long would you want to leave?"

I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I… don't know Orochimaru-sama" I answered honestly, eyes downcast.

"I see…"

Once again silence engulfed us, as Orochimaru-sama made his decision.

"You do realize you have unfinished work here Kabuto-kun, right?"

"I apologize Orochimaru-sama" I bowed low, for I was truly sorry for abandoning this place which I had given me a measure of control of myself for a few years… before it being torn appart.

Orochimaru sighed.

"That child is taking far too many liberties." Orochimaru-sama said more to himself than to me.

That child… Aika-san surely.

As I looked at Orochimaru-sama's expression I felt a shiver run down my spine. He had a dangerous glint in his eyes and I was unsure if it was directed to me or Aika-san.

Probably both.

"I'll give you half a year Kabuto"

What would happen after that half a year was left unsaid. However, I was sure nothing pleasant would follow.

I once again bowed low.

Orochimaru did not remain there any longer. He returned to base and I followed.

I took one last glance at the sky, unsure of my resolve, but I would take it nonetheless.

Half a year.

In half a year I needed to find myself.

_The very same day, Yakushi Kabuto departed for his journey, leaving one Haruta Aika in the wrath that her actions had caused._


	19. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... Sorry not sorry?

"Come on Aika! Stand up!"

Orochimaru would keep yelling. Yelling and yelling and yelling as he beat the crap out of me over and over and over again.

"Show me that promise you said you had!"

I was bleeding, bones broken. I had no clue how I was still standing at that very moment, as I saw the punch come at me, unable to defend myself.

I was thrown into the air, my body rotating at high speed from the sheer force, only to hit a tree trunk with my back, bouncing back onto the ground.

I was lying on the ground, breathing hard, seething inside. This was a new form of cruelty entirely! Beating me, kicking me, punching me into oblivion. I had felt like passing out on several occasions. But that relief was never given to me. Orochimaru would keep summoning his snakes out, get them to bite me and pump me with poison which seemed to have the same effect as adrenaline. Keeping me conscious and running, so that I could continue fighting, even though my body was long past the point of action.

I could not understand what the fuck had gotten into the Snake for his cruelty to skyrocket like that! Yesterday things had been fine enough. Sure, I had a bit of a quarrel with Kabuto, but it was his fault in the first place! I should not be held accountable for that guy's stupidity and jealousy!

I heard the steps of Orochimaru coming closer and closer. Far too calm. My body was hurting so much to the point that I felt myself go slowly numb. I wanted to cry honestly. But I couldn't. I couldn't because Orochimaru had ordered me not to. Because I feared what he would do if I dared to shed one tear.

The Snake leaned down, his hands grabbing my hair, pulling my entire body upright.

"It is quite unfortunate for you Aika-chan." His expression looked far too cruel at that moment, my body shaking in fear.

Something was wrong with Orochimaru. Something was really, really wrong with Orochimaru! That expression resembled a monster right from a horror movie. He was enraged. Bloodthirsty. His aura menacing, suffocating me.

Orochimaru was truly angry.

"Our medic-nin is as of now AWOL. So, I fear you won't be getting healed quite so soon. But, don't worry Aika-chan. Though I might not be that efficient at medical ninjutsu, I do have some experience."

AWOL? Kabuto wasn't here? Where could he possibly be? Just yesterday when I left him alone he was having a mental breakdown! He would be in no state of mind to be anywhere right now!

My throat hitched, as I tried my best to keep my tears at bay.

Kabuto wasn't here to heal me…

Orochimaru would do it instead.

Those words… meant only one thing.

I was going back to his operating table.

And that scared the living shit out of me.

I did not want to. Oh god, I did not want to, please anywhere but there!

"O… Orochi-maru…sama… pl…" I tried to speak. To beg him not to do it. I would rather bleed to death! Anything but the horrors which would await me under his scalpel!

But my please caught up in my throat as I was thrown once again onto the tree trunk, the bark painted red due to the blood escaping from my wounds.

My vision blurred, my entire surrounding but a hazy mess. My ears rang loudly, as I listen to my heart beating fast, trying to keep me going as the adrenaline pumped inside my veins, denying me rest.

It was just brief.

As my eyes wandered everywhere and nowhere, I caught sight of a white figure.

Kimimaro… standing… watching…

Even though we had started training at the same time, going against Orochimaru as usual… it had turned in a one-sided fight between Orochimaru and myself, as he kept targeting my broken form, completely ignoring Kimimaro, each attack that came from him, parried as he would throw the boy far enough to have some quality time with myself. Undisturbed.

At one point, Kimimaro must have realized that Orochimaru's beef was with me. Giving up on his attempts to fight, as this was no longer training. But punishment.

Punishment for something I had yet to know what I had done wrong. And it angered me. It angered me beyond reason. I wanted to lash out. Hit and kick and make them both suffer, one for actually treating me like a pile of shit, while the other watched my suffering without blinking, emotionless.

Kimimaro was not coming to my aid.

He wasn't even trying to stop or at the very least soothe Orochimaru's wrath at me.

No.

He was simply watching.

I coughed blood, as I tried to breath in the air that kept getting knocked out of me.

At that moment… I felt incredibly broken and alone. Because even if I wanted to do nothing more than inflict pain into both of these monsters, to let them feel the suffering I was going through at this very moment, to make them cry, scream, beg for forgiveness just as I wanted to do… it pained me even further to know that I truly cared for the both of them. Cared enough that even if I had the chance to do all that… I would choose not to do it… I cared so much for this fucking monster whose foot kept digging into my stomach… and they did not care one tiny bit for me.

How… How did I end up caring for such cruel beings…?

I remembered, in my former life… I had plenty of people who loved me in return… My sister for instance… Even though she always associated herself with the wrong group of friends, she always tried to include me, try to get me to be with her more often, to have fun.

She truly did care.

But I never cared for her in return. Instead, I would keep hurting her. Calling her names. Pointing out, in a rather cruel way that what she was doing was wrong.

Ironic isn't it. At that time, it was I who never returned the love of the people who actually wished me well… And this time around, it was I being denied of that kind of affection, being beaten just as brutally over something that I had done wrong, in the same manner, that I would hurt my sister when I called out her wrongdoings.

At last, the hitting stopped.

"Orochimaru-sama… If you continue on hurting Aika-san any further, you might injure her to the point that she might never make a full recovery."

I saw as a blur of white hair and white robes stood in front of me.

Kimimaro.

He was standing in front of me. Protecting me from further harm. Caring… He was caring for me.

I could no longer hold my tears at bay.

Because these tears I was shedding were tears of relief.

Though beaten to a bloody pulp… though he had watched and watched and watched… He had cared… He cared enough to see me recover to my former health.

Orochimaru chuckled.

I felt a shiver run through my entire body, not liking that sound one bit.

"I suppose you are right Kimimaro-kun. I cannot have her die or crippled in any form…"

He pushed Kimimaro to the side, approaching me slowly. He crouched, watching me with a keen eye, touching my body with gentle hands as he assessed the wounds he had inflicted upon me, wiping my tears away. He started stroking my hair almost affectionately, the smile on his lips growing wide.

Orochimaru lifted me off the ground, my body completely limp to the motion.

"I have one last thing planned for you, Aika-chan" He whispered in my ear, my breath hitching as my ears finally registered his words.

**(To Love a Song)**

Once again, I was looking up at the bright light shining directly upon my body. My clothes had been stripped away, the wounds that covered my limbs, back, torso and face painting me in a myriad of colors.

Everything was throbbing. One slight movement and I felt like screaming.

And then… there was the black-haired monster, who was preparing himself for the oncoming operation.

An operation to heal my wounds… and to punish me even further for a mistake I had yet to be told. A mistake which seemingly had cost Orochimaru gravely and in turn, it cost me.

The procedure started.

Orochimaru was not good at medical ninjutsu. However, he was an expert at depicting the human body, knowing its functions, its strength, and weaknesses. He knew its layout from inside and out, his experimentations having given him all the knowledge he needed to have in order to enhance his own body...

He did not know how to cast the green magic which Kabuto was so blessed in using.

However, he did know how to operate and patch things up the normal way. The human way. The way that was so common in that other world I used to live in once upon a time.

However, the problem with not getting my wounds healed by medical ninjutsu was that the scars I would be getting from this operation… would forever remain on my person. A reminder of a hopeless battle I had fought. A reminder of the punishment I had had to endure for displeasing this monstrous Snake. A reminder as to why you should never, _never_ cross him in no way possible. Lest you are prepared to suffer the consequences.

And I had been far from prepared.

And I would be conscious to witness this whole procedure, nothing given to me to alleviate the pain. But I did not scream. I could not scream. Because I worried I would tear my vocal cords if I dared as much as utter a sound. And my voice was the last saving grace that I would refuse to lose.

I held in my cries. I would swallow them and grit my teeth tightly.

At some point, Orochimaru had shown enough kindness to gag me, so that I could not damage myself further.

The operation carried on, his hands precise in movement, slicing my skin, exposing my bones, patching me up, sewing the wounds back together. He would boost the healing with the limited knowledge he had on medical ninjutsu, before carrying on to the next wound.

And at last, the operation was finished.

Or so I had thought.

Instead, Orochimaru turned, leaving the bloodied tools on his table, only to go and acquire something else which would carry on my suffering for something I thought would last eternally.

"I am sure, Aika-chan, that you are unaware as to why you are being put… through all this trouble." Orochimaru started to speak. He had a syringe in his hands, pointing the needle at my throat.

"You see. The reason why Kabuto is unable to perform his duties is that, apparently, he suffered a mental breakdown… over his identity." The needle slipped into the skin of my throat, as its contents were emptied into it.

I felt numbness overcome that particular area.

I had no longer control over my voice.

"He decided that it would be best if he went on a self-searching journey. To find who he truly was."

He put the syringe down, as he lifted the clean tools he had taken with him but moments ago.

"He left his duties, Aika-chan. Duties which I can not give anybody else to perform because they require intellect. Kabuto's intellect to be precise. It sets my plans back for quite a bit."

I vaguely felt the scalpel slit my throat, blood gushing out. Orochimaru was careful not to damage my windpipe, his focus on my vocal cords.

"And this entire thing happened… because you found it necessary to voice… your opinion."

I felt tears running through my cheeks, the pain numbed, but still there.

"So, I thought it fitting, to make up for the errors that you've committed with your voice, the best way to handle this situation, is to remind you why you should hold your tongue," he hissed "and think before you utter a peep, the next time you find the way someone handles their psychological trauma is wrong."

The operation of my vocal cords did not take long after that.

They had been severed, rendering me mute.

I would never be able to sing again.

**(To Love a Song)**

I laid in my bed, watching the ceiling of the room I currently resided, listening to the quiet room which truly was not quiet to my ears.

I watched almost lifelessly as I reflected upon the events that had happened a few days ago.

My wounds were healing well. Slowly yes. But that was to be expected. Kabuto was the medic-nin responsible for this base, so there was no one else who could have taken up this task.

But honestly… I couldn't care less about my inability to train.

Because what was the purpose of me training anyways when my most dangerous weapon… my only comfort in this life had been taken from me.

I remained in my room day in and day out. One of the people that worked in this base, bringing me food, as I refused to go and take my own. The efforts were wasted either way, as I refused to eat any of the meals presented to me.

I had lost my voice.

Kimimaro would sometimes come and visit me. Try to strike up a conversation with me… Though that idea wasn't that effective, as in this relationship, it was me who usually kept the conversation going, while Kimimaro listened. But without a voice to use, silence often reigned between us.

On the fifth day of my wallowing in my sadness, Orochimaru came to visit me in my room, holding a tray of food. He looked upon my form, starved as I had left each of my meals untouched.

"I went to great length to leave you undamaged and unscathed, only for you to try and starve yourself to death."

He approached me, each step making me flinch.

I feared this man.

I admired, cared and feared this man above everything in this world.

He was what I looked up to, what I aspired to be in this world.

He was what had given me hope, a type of family, however, twisted it might have been.

And he was the one who held the power to build me up and destroy me, shatter me to the ground just as easily.

He sat down on the chair Kimimaro usually used when he came to see me.

"Eat child."

I refused to look at him.

A hand slithered up to me, grabbing my chin, forcing me to look upon the Snake.

I spit on his face.

Because however much I feared this monster, at that very moment, I was filled up with hatred and anger. I was raging inside for the things he had done to me.

All because I had dared to voice my opinion. To actually trigger Kabuto to go through his mental fuck up and cause him to set things straight with himself.

For when he returned… And I had no doubt he would return… He would be that much stronger. That much smarter. That much more powerful. He would be that much closer to the way Kabuto had become after the death of this fucking bitch, which was staring me right in the face with shocked eyes.

I wished I could yell at him. Tell him exactly what my fucking opinion was about him. To unleash my tongue, to voice my thoughts while completely bypassing my brain.

I would love to curse him to hell and back, to let him hear how much I hated him at that very moment for daring, DARING to take away something that was ultimately mine.

MINE!

And Orochimaru, of course, would find amusement in my actions.

He wiped the saliva away with his sleeve as he chuckled, bursting into a full-blown laughter soon after.

And then he punched me. Punched me so hard I flew out of bed, crashing to the floor.

"Your cheek has reached unmeasurable levels, Aika-chan."

I tried to lift myself up from the ground, but my arms were still weak, my bones still healing.

I crashed back down, muscles refusing to listen.

Orochimaru rose from his chair, setting the tray of food at the counter nearby, carrying me up, before laying me gently on my bed in a sitting position.

He took one of the plates containing food inside, filling the spoon before holding it to my mouth.

"Eat." He demanded.

I swatted the spoon away, using whatever strength I had in my arm.

Orochimaru watched the spoon fly across the room, the food scattering on the floor as the silverware clattered loudly upon hitting the floor.

He rose from his chair once more, taking the silverware, blowing on it as if to clean it from dirt, before sitting down once more.

He filled the spoon again, holding it in front of my mouth, however this time, he grabbed my face rather harshly, watching me with murderous eyes.

"I said, eat."

I gritted my teeth.

He had already taken away this much from me. What else could he possibly do to punish me further? If he dared as much as make me a cripple, I would take my own life without a second thought, screw second chances to hell and back.

Seeing as I refused to open my mouth, he slapped me across the face.

"Aika. If you refuse to eat once more…"

The threat was left open, having no doubt that whatever he would come up with as punishment would break me to the point of no return.

I felt tears well up at the corner of my eyes, but I held them in.

I reluctantly opened my mouth as Orochimaru fed me, spoon after spoon. And eventually, after several painful minutes of repeating that action, the plate was empty, my stomach painfully full.

He then took the glass of water which had been resting innocently on the counter, holding it to my lips, indicating that I should drink.

I wanted to protest. To rebel just because I could. But I thought better of it, knowing that I would be harming myself more than I would be annoying him.

I drank the water greedily, having not known how thirsty I had gotten.

"There. It wasn't so hard now, was it?"

I glared at the monster, which only brought out a chuckle from him.

He stood up, taking the tray with the empty plate and glass with him, making his way to the exit.

"I'll be seeing you again tomorrow Aika-chan." He announced before he left, shutting the door behind him.

I did not understand. Could not understand. Despite all the cruelty he had shown to me. Despite all the misdeeds he had caused on my person… Why was he bothering to take care of me? Going as far as to even feed me?

The tears which had been sitting on the edge of my eyes finally spilled.

I could not understand.

I didn't know what to believe.

Did this monster care for me at all? Was I just a game? A stress reliever to hit whenever something wasn't going his way?

I truly did not know what to make of this whole situation. Of this life, I was living.

I wished that things would start making sense. Where I could distinguish what was genuine and what was not.

Did Orochimaru see me as just an experiment? Did he see me as a plaything? Did he see me as a follower? Did he maybe care for me… even if just a bit…

I put my head into my injured hands, pain shooting up my arms, though I ignored it.

I did not know.

**(To Love a Song)**

It became a routine, where Orochimaru would come at lunch and would force feed me. I would, of course, get a meal each morning and evening as well. However, it seemed so long as I was eating the main meal of the day, he could not care less what happened to the food delivered to me on the other time of the day.

Eventually, I started eating my breakfast and dinner as well, protesting less and less to intake the food given to me. I felt my strength return, my wounds heal… But my voice remained gone.

Kimimaro however, never stopped visiting me.

He would often come to my room with new bruises, obviously having gotten them from training. And he tried his best to uphold conversations, no matter how one-sided they were.

The gesture was truly appreciated, giving me some measure of hope, that at least one person in this whole ordeal did care for me at some level. Even if their primary concern was still Orochimaru. If the Pedo Snake ever ordered Kimimaro to kill me… I had no doubt he would perform the action without resistance.

Still. I found comfort in the fact, that, at least one tiny bit, he liked me enough to take some time of his day, to see me, to comfort me.

Feeling that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, after all, I resumed my studies, though I still could not leave my bed. So, I had some of the workers that usually came to deliver my meal to hand me the papers, scrolls, and books on my desk, so that I could study and not waste my time wallowing in self-pity like I had been doing the past couple of days.

Of course, I was still extremely saddened by the loss of my voice. But I hoped, prayed upon the gods, that I would find a way to get it back.

However, right now, I would be concentrating on learning techniques which would require a keen hearing, such as mine, as well as techniques which could enhance my attacks.

It was while in the middle of my research, that Orochimaru came into my room, a meal at hand. He studied me as my full attention was on the paper scattered across my bed, only to be broken out of thought as he cleared his throat.

"It is good to see you're returning to your duties Aika-chan." A creepy smile on his face.

Though I could no longer talk, my body was healed enough that I could do gestures, flipping my middle finger at the snake.

I was still utterly and completely angered by his actions.

"Careful not, we don't want you to lose an appendage, do we?"

However, he still had all the power in this place, so the finger went back into the first, just as fast as it had flipped.

Even though my hands were healed, for the most part, Orochimaru kept hand feeding me. I did not understand why he was doing it but… it made me think, even if just briefly, that he did care for me… in his twisted and sadistic way.

But maybe that was the whole reason why he was doing this in the first place.

He had lost a good chunk of my trust, by punishing me in the way he had. So now, he was making it up by appearing like he cared enough for me, that he would hand-feed me. Something someone from his position would be never seen doing.

I looked at Orochimaru, as I swallowed the food he handed to me.

This man… was so utterly complicated. Would I ever understand the way he functioned? What was real and what wasn't? If this continued like so, I feared that I would lose whatever sanity I had left completely to him and I would become another mindless follower, like many other ninjas that came into contact with him.

"Is something wrong, Aika-chan?" He had noticed me staring at him, analyzing him.

I shook my head, looking away.

The meal was finished and Orochimaru was once more gone.

I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling, something I found myself doing far too often. However, the cleat canvas helped me keep my mind clear, otherwise, it would burst with noisy thoughts and theories, trying to depict something I could barely comprehend.

Orochimaru.

He was truly a loathsome man.

And yet, I still could not find it in me to abandon his side… To hate and resent him as I should be.

I simply just couldn't.


	20. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> his chapter was beautiful to write. And I had a lot of fun writing about the newest technique Aika was learning. The end however, I believe is the cherry on top of this chapter, loving the development Aika's relationships are taking :D

My wounds were slowly healing, my strength returning… and I remained mute.

After 3 weeks of rest, doing nothing but laying on my bed, healing, thinking, researching for my abilities… and most of all, mourning the loss of my voice… I was finally back on my feet.

The research I had conducted these past days were mostly on jutsu which were unrelated to my voice. My vocal cords were damaged, and though I did have a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe Orochimaru had simply tampered with my voice, rendering me mute temporarily rather than forever, I did not want to delusion myself with powers which I could possibly never attain.

So, I focused on sound attacks which could be emitted from my body, enhance my hearing, just anything but jutsu which required my throat.

It truly pained me, whenever I would try to talk, to reply when Kimimaro would say something or when the silence between us was deafening. I would open my mouth, form my words, only for hot air to come out of my throat. Realization would hit me each time, the blow just as painful as the very first one. I would slowly close my mouth, look away and hope Kimimaro would not address that blunder.

He never did.

However, the time when I felt at my lowest was when I would get the urge to sing. To sing so I could comfort myself from the physical pain I was feeling. Whenever I tried to move. Adjust myself better, some of the bruises of my body would get really uncomfortable, sharp pain shooting up my limbs and I often felt like crying.

I would take a deep breath, try to omit the lovely tunes my voice could create, only to stop midways, as no melody came out of my throat.

It was in those moments that my tears flowed heaviest.

But after weeks passed, my wounds getting less painful, less restricting and… coming to terms that I had lost my voice, I finally managed to get out of my bed and get back to training.

Honestly, I do not know how many times the thoughts crossed my mind, to simply give up, not continue this path as a ninja, to simply run away and live somewhere far, far away as a civilian, so that I would not have to suffer like this anymore.

And though I loathe to admit this… there even moments where I had suicidal thoughts. I had already lost the one thing that made this life so enjoyable, that gave me hope, gave me ambition. And with death, I knew there would be no end. I might not retain my memories from my previous life anymore… but I would still continue existing in one way or another.

But then, I would remember the efforts I poured all these years. The techniques I developed, the research I had conducted… If I died, it would mean that all this time spent on making myself stronger, would have been wasted.

And I hated wasting time like so.

I hated wasting effort.

And leaving this life, would mean leaving the fragile bonds I had developed here. Kimimaro had proved to be truly a friend, visiting me always after he was done training, even when he was in obvious need of medical attention. He would try to cheer me up, in his own awkward way.

He would talk about how ruthless Orochimaru had been with him that day. Would tell me the techniques he had used. How he had actually managed to pull a punch through Orochimaru's face, even if it had done absolutely no damage.

And the best thing about Kimimaro was… He never once tried to pity my situation. He would not address my disability. He would try to communicate with me just as if I still had my voice. And when he saw me getting deeper and deeper into my depressing thoughts of not being able to talk, he would immediately try to strike up some random conversation.

He was truly a sweet kid.

I was glad I had been able to befriend him in the end. Even if I knew that this friendship would dissolve into nothing if Orochimaru deemed me a burden and threw me away.

Orochimaru in turn… I could simply not figure out. He was manipulating me, I knew as much. Though the feeding had not lasted forever, he had still taken time out of his busy schedule (and it was an even busier schedule due to Kabuto no longer being by his side), just so that could take his time in seeing that I would at least eat one meal a day.

And if I refused… he would make me.

He would either slap me until I obliged, or force feed me when I was being especially stubborn.

And I would be stubborn quite often… just to spite him.

I could not understand.

Without my voice, I should be useless to him. By all means, he should not be taking care of me. He should be throwing me away the instance my value had ran out. And my value had been in my voice.

Yet, he came each day.

And when I no longer required him to have me fed, he'd visit me at our usual discussion hours… which were weird, as I could not speak to him about my findings. In turn I was forced to write, to show him my notes, point out certain things, try to communicate with body language as I would nod, or shake my head, or try to shape whatever I was talking about with my hands, before he would explain anything which did not make sense to him, which could have been done better, or praise me when my research proved to be fruitful.

Maybe he was keeping me for my intelligence?

I truly did not know.

The only thing I was sure of was that he was keeping for something. Something specific.

That in itself was terrifying.

Orochimaru was the one entity in my entire existence which left me confused, feeling multiple feelings, both negative and positive.

If anyone would ask me if I hated that damned Snake, I would not hesitate to answer. Yes. Yes, I hated him with a loathing passion. I hated him for giving me everything I wanted, and I hated him for taking those things away just as fast as he had given them to me. I hated it how he was toying with me, keeping me close, seemingly caring, only to beat me, torture me, punish me whenever he saw fit.

I hated how he gave me freedom to do certain things, and yet I was captured, enclosed, unable to escape his clutches.

I hated him.

Hated him so much.

I just hated this fucking, pedophilic, creepy, ugly ass snake.

HATE!

But…

As much as I loathed him for all the above… I also cared for him. Saw him as family. Looked up to him. Because he was the one to give me goal. He was the one to give me a spark of hope in gaining power. He was the one who kept making me stronger. No matter how underhanded his methods… they were doing their job, making me grow stronger, both physically and emotionally.

And he kept giving and giving.

And took only rarely… But when he took… His request would cost me dearly.

I mean, I knew he wasn't doing all this from the kindness of his heart. And I could understand. He wanted something from me, just as I wanted things from him.

Truth be told, Orochimaru was in a way my end goal. In terms of strength. In terms of intelligence. In term of power. How he could do anything he wanted without having a care in the world and no one could stop him.

I wanted that.

I needed that.

I would become that.

Because Orochimaru was living the ultimate freedom, with obligations to no one but himself.

Isn't that a life anybody would be striving for?

(To Love a Song)

I was out in the training field, though Orochimaru nor Kimimaro would be here. It was far too late for that; the darkness had already settled around the clearing.

No.

This training was initiated completely on my own. It was time to put my hearing to good use.

In the past few years, waiting for my chakra coils to settle, finally developing techniques with my voice (which were now for naught), training my physical capacities, I had completely ignored one of the most important parts on my newly enhanced body.

My hearing.

And though there was a technique, echolocation, which would help me distinguish certain objects or people from the environment, without needing a fine hearing for it, the voice was a crucial part to the technique, which now I could no longer use as I was mute.

So, I decided that I would finetune my ears, in order for me to not need such a technique to help me register the presence of others.

I mean… I could listen. Listen to things few in this world could. The subtle noise the trees emitted, the quiet melody of the flowers on the field, the whispers of the animals between one another. I could hear all that. But I could not distinguish them from one another. They were usually one big song my surroundings would create, thus engulfing me in noise, leaving me deaf to the faint signs of anything specific.

It was similar to an entire orchestra. Multiple instruments used together to perform one song. Some instruments you could distinguish from one another, being loud and brash, others were hidden and well blended. Just like the footsteps of an animal on the hunt or in the hiding. Quiet. Precise.

Just like the steps of a ninja.

Now that my voice was gone, now that I could not indulge myself any longer in creating sound myself, I decided to perfect the second thing I appreciated and loved in this new body of mine.

My hearing.

Though I could no longer sing, I could still listen at the beautiful melodies of nature, and that gave me some measure of comfort in this entire ordeal I found myself in.

So, I would train and listen, perfect it so that I could have such a fine deception of sound, that nothing, not even the slightest of vibrations would escape my ears.

I sat down in the middle of the field, closing my eyes, feeling the wind blow on my face, my hair being carried on its current. My breath was even, easily blending with the nature surrounding me, as I listened to the hauntingly beautiful tunes nature engulfed by darkness produced.

I focused, trying to depict any changes.

I could easily hear the trees. The vast amount of them in nature giving them a loud, dominating sound. Then came the wind, which softened the harsh tunes the trees omitted, like a caressing touch, brushing lightly on the leaves, making their pitch slightly higher.

Those were the tunes which were simple to distinguish.

I tried to open my ears to their full extent, trying my best to determine the other instruments nature provided.

But it seemed impossible for me to recognize them. They were blended far too well.

Despite my superior hearing, the noise, all this buzz, this chorus of voices, it was combined far too well.

I sat in the middle of the training ground for what would have been half an hour, trying and trying and trying, before I came to the conclusion, this would not help.

So, the next step I did was analyze how my ears now functioned. Orochimaru had explained to me, right after my surgery, that technically I was deaf. That I could not listen sound the way others could.

I needed chakra to listen now.

So, would that mean, that the more chakra was focused on my ears, the more accurate my hearing would become?

I decided to put this theory to the test.

Concentrating chakra in my ears, I tried to listen.

But…

Nothing changed. The sound remained the same. Nothing got amplified, like I had hoped. Not a single change.

I tried again.

And again.

And again.

And yet still, no changes at all.

Was my theory wrong after all?

However, something in me was convinced that that wasn't the case.

Maybe I was concentrating my chakra in a wrong way?

Several minutes were spent in playing with chakra control, trying to focus the aura around my ears, inside my ears… And then it hit me… I did no longer use my ears. I was deaf. No matter how much I would enhance them, my ears were technically for show. If I would close them, I could still hear sound just as accurately as when nothing was in their way.

So of course, applying chakra to them, would also do nothing to my hearing.

But where… was I supposed to concentrate my chakra in turn? What was now the focus point of source of hearing? What had Orochimaru done to give me the ability in the first place?

He had put me through brain surgery… So, did that mean that somewhere in my brain was a focus point which specialized only in hearing?

That did not sound right.

I thought and thought, the melody of the nature comforting and calming me of the frustration which wanted to build up with each wall I hit.

And finally, finally I came up with something.

What if, this alteration in my brain was done so that my hearing functions were concentrated only in certain chakra coils of my ears, rather than my hearing taking place in my brain. It was plausible. A selected number of nodes on each side of my head, utilized only to gather the information of the chakra outside and for my brain to translate this information into sound.

The problem with this theory however was, I had no idea how many chakra nodes were being used, which chakra nodes were being used, or where those chakra nodes were located in the first place… But, I was fairly sure that they were all concentrated around my ears eventually.

I needed a map for the chakra nodes in my skull.

I was quick to leave, heading to the library of the base, searching for a scroll which held the information I needed. Thankfully, it did not take me long to find such a scroll.

The layout seemed simple enough.

I looked at the paper, doing my best to memorize them, touching the locations with my fingers to get a better image as to not forget. After I was fairly sure I had it registered in my brain, I left the library, once more heading to the clearing so that I could continue.

Once more in a seated position, my eyes closed, blind to the world as I would not need them, I started experimenting.

There weren't many chakra nodes centered around my ears. In the entirety there were 5 on each side. I concentrated on feeling my chakra flow, feeling as it went from point to point. I assumed this whole exercise would be similar to the tree walking exercise. Concentrating chakra on a certain body part and trying to find a balance as to not overuse the chakra, or to underuse it.

It was easy explained in theory, but in practice it was much harder to perform.

Because I never ever used chakra in those parts of my body consciously, they were not very often used, lacking in stimulation. It took me several tries to get it right, as I would always concentrate my chakra on all five nodes which surrounded the ear, not able to distinguish them from one another.

But eventually, I got it, my head feeling almost like a radio changing stations.

It was peculiar, having control of the sound entering my ears in such a measure. With what I discovered was that, when all five nodes were used, no changes would occur. My hearing was already in balance and when I applied some more chakra to it, it did nothing to tip it off.

However, when I used 4 of those nodes, the sound would immediately differ. The combination was also important, the differences subtle but still there.

So, I would spend the next hour and a half trying different combinations, seeing what would lead to better hearing or how I could use those other combinations to my advantage.

Eventually, I was able to crack the code, the sound of my surroundings amplified, the orchestra no longer in harmony, but chopped, full of interferences. The interference of the living and breathing.

And I was no longer alone in this forest.

My first instinct was to call out, however, being mute I could hardly do that.

I rose to my feet, trying to stay as calm as I could, not indicating that I had noticed them. I made my way to the direction of the base, feigning return before I hid to the trees, kunai already in my hand.

I listened carefully, my new ears easily depicting the foul noise this target was omitting. And I slowly, quietly, my feet muffled from sound, made my way to the spy, seemingly not moving. Upon closing the distance, deeming myself close enough, I jumped into action, kunai in preparation to slit their throat… only for me to stop and notice that the back of the head of my target was strangely too familiar.

White hair.

Instead of slitting his throat, as I had initially planned, I tapped him on his shoulders, his reaction immediate.

I waved at him, unable to great him verbally.

"Aika-san…"

I waited.

"I guess I've been caught red-handed." Kimimaro lowered his head in shame.

"How did you find out where I was?"

I tapped the side of my ear.

"You heard me?"

I nodded.

"I did not believe I was being so loud. It seemed I need more training in the department of stealth." He frowned.

I shook my head, trying to communicate that that wasn't it. Kimimaro instead, looked very confused.

"But you said you heard me."

I sighed, not knowing how to explain how I had come to understand his position.

"I guess you can't explain, huh…"

I shrugged, my expression apologetic. However, even though the question of how I had been able to hear Kimimaro was quite interesting for sure, I was more curious as to why Kimimaro had so obviously been spying on me.

I pointed at him, a questioning look on my face. The question should have been obvious.

"Ah… I wanted to visit you in your room but… you weren't there, so I went to search for you and I saw you meditating. I did not want to disturb you so instead I watched. And then I thought you were done when you went back to the base but… decided to return a few minutes later. I assumed you were doing the same thing now… Instead you went to search for me."

I grinned at the last statement, a bit proud that I was able to one-up Kimimaro for once. Especially after I had had no training for weeks why he kept combating with Orochimaru.

My new approved hearing was already proving to be useful. No ninja, especially the best ones, would ever think that they aren't quite enough when in hiding. However, once I normalized this, once this hearing became second nature to me, hiding would be near impossible.

"So, are you done?"

I nodded in answer.

"Shall we go then, Aika-san?"

Another nod.

Kimimaro started ahead, already skipping trees in the direction of the base.

It made me wonder actually, as I watched the back of Kimimaro as he sprinted forwards, for how long had he been watching me? It took me hours to finally get the hang out of my hearing, so when had he started observing? He must have been watching for quite a while.

However, I could not ask, and I could not show him in some type of movement or gesture what I wanted to say.

The trip back to our quarters was a quiet one.

As we reached the doors to our rooms, I did not immediately open the door. Instead I looked at Kimimaro, my head tilted.

Kimimaro looked at me, seeing as I shook my head in the direction of my room, inviting him. He closed the door he had opened halfway, heading to mine instead, as we both entered my room.

He sat on the chair, which was always reserved for guests, either he would be sitting in it or Orochimaru. And we stood there for a while in silence.

"Aika-san…"

He started.

"I don't believe that your voice is forever lost."

I felt my heart skip a beat. Those words… were full of conviction.

"I have seen how you have been Aika-san. And I have also observed Orochimaru-sama. Though you seemingly lost the best trait and strongest weapon in your arsenal, you are still fighting. Whereas Orochimaru-sama keeps looking at you, analyzing your actions, it's almost as if he is testing you."

Why was he saying that? Why was he igniting the tiny flame of hope which had been flickering inside me?

"I tried to not mention this topic… because… It was difficult to see you what Orochimaru-sama truly wanted."

I wanted to tell him to stop talking. To simply stop. To not feed any more fuel to this fire, because I could not afford to hope. Not with how Orochimaru was. Not with his sadistic streak.

"But he took care of you. Kept you. You are still valuable to him. You have to be getting your voice back at some point!"

Tears started trickling down my cheeks. Because I wanted to believe those words. Oh, how I wanted to believe them. To regain my voice… It would be wonderful. So wonderful.

But how could I dare hope, when the man who could give me everything, could just as easily take them away. I just could not find it in me to believe.

And yet this fire. This fire which was now blazing was gripping my heart tightly, refusing to let it go.

I wanted to believe.

I was believing it.

"Aika-san…"

I looked up at Kimimaro, not having realized my eyes were downcast.

"I truly do believe." He had a slight smile on his lips.

And though my cries were silent, the tears kept flowing, my mouth kept shouting even though no sound came from it, my hands desperately trying to dry my eyes.

Kimimaro stood awkwardly, watching me as my soul was pouring down in liquid form. He obviously did not know what to do, how to comfort me, how to stop my tears.

So, he simply watched.

It was enough comfort for me.

As I slowly calmed down, the tears lessening, I looked Kimimaro, giving him a grin, showing him that I was not discouraged. That I did have hope.

We spend several minutes in silence, comfortable in one another's presence. Communication was not needed. I listened to the quiet room, though it was far from quiet to me, listened to the soft sounds Kimimaro produced, the melody a strangely soothing one.

However, it was getting quite late, and Orochimaru's schedule started early, rest crucial for our training. And I would be joining them the next day.

My heart beat faster just thinking about training, memories of what happened last flooding my brain. But I pushed them down. I needed this. If I wanted to get stronger, I needed to train with that terrifying Snake. If I wanted to prove Orochimaru that I was worthy of my voice, I would have to fight and show him that this punishment had been uncalled for. And hopefully, sometime in the future, make him regret for ever having put me through all this.

Even if it would make me stronger.

Kimimaro and I parted, my friend going back to his own room, as I was left alone with my own thoughts. I laid in my bed, feeling exhaustion take over, my thoughts clouding as I went deeper into unconsciousness.

Thankfully, that night would be a dreamless one.


	21. Borken and Fixed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo... I know things were looking up last chapter... And they still are! But uhm... Lets call this chapter the final straw and i believe from here on it will only go uphill. I'm sorry :c I know it's been very emotionally draining. But i prooomiseeeee now it should only get only better! I think... The story does have a mind of its own tbh ^^'
> 
> Also, i apologize this chapter took so long to write! I do have good excuses though! I've recently moved so that took a lot of my spare time and I've also gotten myself a beta with whom I'm going through all the chapters correcting whatever mistakes I might have made. Not all chapters are fixed yet but we're slowly getting there! Her name is Hypereuni and she's been such a great addition! This chapter is betaed.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy~

How often was it now, that I stood in the middle of this field, trampled and played with, only to jump back up and stand once again in front of this monster, awaiting his guidance. That face, that smirk, the way his eyes dissected me like a rat under a microscope… And yet here I was, with an abused body, the scars a reminder of the torture I had went through and my lack of voice a testament that this creature right there was destroying me, internally as well as externally.

I was shaking as I continued to look him in the eye. His eyes were an unnatural color, sickly even, the pupils split—the eyes of a predator. I shook and shook, my hands balling into fists in order to lessen the shaking. But what was I trembling for? In fear? It would have been the most logical answer; it _should_ have been the answer. But it did not seem right. This trembling in my body was not entirely due to fear. What I was feeling was something more akin to euphoria.

I smirked.

Not once did my eyes leave Orochimaru's. Kimimaro stood by my side observing this silent exchange. No words were spoken since I had entered the training grounds. Not from him and certainly not from me. The only sound surrounding us was that of nature, playing loudly only in my ears. A calm and gentle orchestra, nothing like the scene unfolding. Dramatic. Tense.

The smirk turned into a grin.

This was it, right? Was this what it felt like to go mad? No. I had already lost my sanity to this man. Despite all the things I knew of this creature, despite all the things he had done to me and despite the things he would continue doing to me, I still chose to be by his side. Were the physical scars, and especially the mental trauma truly worth the gains? I grit my teeth, my shoulders shaking harder and harder.

Eventually, I laughed.

It was a silent laughter. I put my hand on my face as I continued to laugh, hiding half of my features, tears streaming down my eyes. What had I become? When did I start fearing abandonment when not so long ago, it was I who abandoned everyone? I made one mistake. ONE! And he took the one thing I held dearest to me. And as if that wasn't enough, he topped it off with these scars which I would never be able to get rid of! If something like that would have happened to me in my former household, I would have left them in a heartbeat. Hell, I left them over treating me less like a child and more like a trophy. What made Orochimaru's way of treatment so different that kept me to his side? Why did I not wish to leave this monster!?

Kimimaro watched me, his face emotionless. He knew it. He knew exactly what I was going through. He knew that in these moments, I had succumbed my sanity entirely to Orochimaru, just as he had done. Just like Kabuto had done.

I grabbed a kunai from the side of my thigh, my face still distorted from laughter. Without looking up from the grass at my feet, I quickly threw the weapon at the Snake's direction, which he easily dodged.

I slowly raised my eyes. In front of me stood the most terrifying man in existence. I bit my lips, grinding the flesh with my teeth, blood dripping from the wound I had inflicted on myself.

"Good morning, Aika-chan," he greeted, his smirk wide, amused. This information barely registered in my brain. Instead, the one thing overwhelming my senses was the melody Orochimaru was giving off, the melody I had never been able to listen to before I tweaked with my hearing—a truly terrifying song. It slithered around me, consuming me, ready to eat me whole.

I took a step back, my breathing ragged as his overwhelming presence nearly crushed me, but I refused to mute the song he was singing. Instead, I unsheathed the daggers placed on my lower back and locked eyes once again with the monster.

" _Orochimaru-sama,"_ I mouthed in an attempted scream, feeling the rage in me boil to an immeasurable degree.

I attacked him, determined to take his life. He had made me suffer so much, nearly destroyed me on multiple occasions! He had treated me like an interesting project, playing with my psyche, twisting it until he felt satisfied. Until I was programmed just the way he wanted. Did he believe me so stupid? Did he believe me so… breakable?

It was foolish of me to attack him. I knew that of course. How could I possibly defeat this creature which was so high above me in strength and intelligence? I didn't even own one single jutsu which could give me a slight edge. The ones I used to own were already taken away from me, precisely by the man I was attempting to murder.

Even Kimimaro knew what a weakling I was against this mighty Snake, as he did not lift a finger to stop me from attacking Orochimaru, even as it was apparent that I was oozing bloodlust. I wanted Orochimaru's head, and Kimimaro was aware of it. But he also knew that he would simply get in the way, rather than aid his master.

But it was also because of this reason, this weakness I possessed, that I was fighting with the aim to kill. I knew he would not die. I knew that he wouldn't even get a scratch even if I tried.

I wanted to kill him. By god, did I want to kill this hateful creature. I wanted to maim him beyond recognition, take away all of his achievements just as he had taken away mine.

But I also needed him alive. Needed him alive for the security he gave me, for the gifts he handed out despite taking them away just as easily. I needed the comfort he gave me because in the end, I knew his manipulations had been working. I knew that to some degree I had created a twisted bond with this monster and I still sought out his presence.

Attack after attack I was trampled back into the ground, thrown around like a ball, bouncing back to attack ten times harder. His dodging was gentle, well, gentle for his standards that is. He was being careful with me, trying to not inflict any more wounds on me. It only served to make me more vicious in my approach, slashing, throwing, jumping, kicking—at some point, when I ran out of kunai, throwing my daggers aside, I attacked like a savage, with clumsy fists and horribly executed hits.

Eventually, I tired myself out. Orochimaru had had no problem avoiding each and every one of my unskillful punches and kicks. This fight had been everything Orochimaru had not taught me to be: careless, thoughtless, hopeless. Full of emotions. They had controlled my every move. It was absolutely disgusting, the way I had performed. Why did he have to act as if he cared? I knew he didn't! But my foolish human heart clung to the fake kindness he offered me.

I slowly slid to the ground, my hands lying lifeless on my sides, my body feeling completely worn out. I raised my head, facing the man whose hair seemed almost consuming in its blackness, his white skin glowing in contrast. My chest went up and down, my lungs hurting with the massive amounts of air I was gulping. With one last deep breath, chest painfully tight, I screamed.

I screamed my soul out! The desperation I had felt these past few weeks as I lost the one thing precious to me was released in soundless tears. Even if that voice was mute to everybody else, it rang loudly, oh so loudly to me in the saddest melodies. But it was also relieving, like a burden being lifted from my shoulders.

The Snake was no longer smirking but looking at me, his face neutral, his eyes void of any emotion. They were not cold, nor were they calculating as I would have expected. They were not amused either, nor interested. They were simply… clear.

He came closer to me, crouching so that the height difference wouldn't be so strenuous on my neck and started stroking my hair, brushing his fingers through my ponytail before the threads of hair slipped from his grip, falling over my shoulder.

"Have you calmed down? Are you done with your assault?" Orochimaru asked me, his face tilted to the side. I bit my bruised lip, closing my eyes, trying my best to slow the rhythm of my breathing, to calm myself. I swallowed thickly, the melody of the Snake coiling itself around me, caressing me, keeping me tight in its grip as it tried to suffocate me in its gentle approach. And I let it engulf me in its madness.

I nodded slowly, the desire to attack no longer present. Instead I wanted to feel his comfort a little bit longer, have him pet my hair, show me affection. And as if he could read my thoughts, his long fingers undid my elastic band, my hair falling in front of my face temporarily before Orochimaru pushed them away, stroke after stroke, calming me down.

"I believe you are not fit for training today, Aika-chan."

For a second, I wanted to refuse. However, simply looking at my emotional state as well as the exhaustion I had driven myself into, I knew he was right. With another slow nod, I attempted to stand up, disappointed that I had to give up the comfort he was giving me. But just as I was about to lift myself up, I dropped back just as fast. I had not realized that my body was still shaking.

"Kimimaro, would you please take Aika-chan to her room? Training for today is cancelled." I looked up shocked, as this was not necessary. Just because I was unfit for training did not mean Kimimaro would also have to suffer the same consequences!

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," he replied.

My lips kept forming words, arguments trying to escape to change their mind, but I couldn't do anything else except for shake my head to bring my message across. In the end Kimimaro lifted me up, one arm supporting my back while the other looped under my knees.

"Please, Aika-san, you've caused enough trouble already." I stopped trying to push him away, biting my lips, eyes cast down in shame. Yes, I had indeed caused quite some trouble, but I did not regret attacking Orochimaru. It had helped me burn all that rage that had built up inside my heart for weeks, helping me achieve some piece. I felt exhausted and emotionally drained, but I did feel much better than before. The rage that had swallowed me the moment I had seen Orochimaru standing on the field had been overwhelming. Keeping it inside would have done me no good.

I locked my arms around Kimimaro's neck, getting a bit more support, resting my eyes as I felt him lead me away. A few minutes later I was back in my room, the shaking having stopped a while ago, but he had refused to let me go. He laid me on my bed and we simply looked at one another in silence for a few moments. I wanted to say so much, to discuss my feelings, to tell him why I had acted the way I did. But those words were taken away from me.

"How are you feeling, Aika-san?" The silent room brimmed with sound.

 _Numb._ I wanted to say. I did not know what to feel any longer. Hate and love were truly separated by a thin line, slowly blurring into one. How I could desire the death and comforting presence of a single person so much was beyond me. How I could have attached myself to such a person in the first place…

Kimimaro sat on the edge of my bed, facing away, his back turned towards me.

"I know the loss of your voice was a cruel punishment, Aika-san,"—his voice rang loud, piercing my heart—"but you must understand that Orochimaru-sama would never do anything without proper thought."

I slammed my fists on my bed, a soft thump, range blaring anew.

LIKE HELL! The loss of my voice was NOTHING but thoughtless on his part! I knew Orochimaru. I remembered him from the show, how all, ALL of his careful planning went crushing down because when it counted the most, he let his emotions rule! Just like when he let his rage overcome his logic by taking my voice, risking me antagonizing him! The only reason why this mistake was not a dire one was because I was no threat to him. That even if I turned on him, I was easily eliminated.

I knew that. And he knew it as well.

I felt my hands slowly being taken into gentle ones, green eyes staring into my own. I had not realized my nails were digging into my skin, the pain numbed by my wrecked emotions.

"Aika-chan." Tears started welling once again in my eyes. Why… Why must he now use my name in such a way. Why did I have to be surrounded by people that confused me so much! Did Orochimaru truly care for me? Did Kimimaro truly care for me? Was I just a tool of manipulation? Was there any genuine feeling between any of them and me? I wanted to cling to hope so badly. That maybe, just maybe, in all this insanity, there was something truly genuine. I craved a connection with these people, because in the end, we were all very similar. Selfish, manipulative, cruel in many ways, killing for our own gains. Where would I ever find others where I could be my own self, where I would be accepted without fault, where all my flaws were shared by the people I also cared about?

But did I truly care for them as my heart tried to tell me or was I simply holding tight onto them because they gave me familiarity? A secure place where I at least knew what awaited me. Because part of the future was locked in the presence of these creatures.

Doubts kept creeping inside my mind, doubts which told me to hate and leave this place, that my heart did not weigh as heavy as my my wish for a genuine connection kept its grip tight, clouding my judgment. One of the people I'd be leaving behind if I truly left was right in front of me, slowly taking me into his embrace, comforting me, giving me what I hoped for, what I wished for. A bond. Something I had never possessed in my entire existence. Something I had craved, but had tried to suppress, ignore, telling myself that I did not need such a thing.

Pushing Kimimaro gently away, I looked up at his face. His expression was as blank as it usually was, but his eyes told me differently. He was worried. Worried about my wellbeing. A genuine emotion about me. He wiped away my tears with an awkward hand, and I smiled a little and nodded at him, feeling better. Feeling safer. He smiled back at me, returning my nod.

I knew, by all means I knew, that I would never truly be alright. I was aware that madness had consumed me, but I had signed up for this since the very moment I decided to follow the Snake. I knew that this rage I felt in my heart would not disappear, that I would continue hating him. I knew that Orochimaru would never be forgiven for the cruelty he had acted upon me, the black thorns of vengeance tightly gripping my soul. Because what he had done to me, what he had made me go through… He needed to suffer the same fate by my hand. He was going to pay dearly or else my soul would never find peace.

But I also knew that Orochimaru's presence was far too important to me. Not because of the abilities and knowledge he provided me. Those feeling would have never been strong enough to tie me to this place. They might have been what had kept me in the beginning, but no longer. No. By some twisted fate, he had slithered himself into my heart, had made me crave his presence, his approval, his love even. Despite his cruel ways, he had raised me in the end, had taken care of me, had accepted me for what I truly was and had shaped me into what I was now. He had given me a home, a figure to look up to, a human I could appreciate and love. A mentor, a parent. A person whose affection I craved.

I would hate him, and I would love him the same. I would plot his demise and protect him from all harm. I needed to destroy him, to be nothing more but dirt but I also needed to help him rise in power, keep him as king of the world. He was mine to abhor and mine to cherish. I would make sure that he would suffer just as much as I had and then I would nurse him back to health, lovingly, carefully, just as he had done with me.

He had at last broken me, but I refused to keep the pieces of my sanity scattered on the ground. Instead I would pick them up, force them together no matter if they fit or not, no matter if pieces were missing or not. I would simply create a new shape out of my shattered mind, only keeping the core material of myself intact until this new shape would heal on itself and madness would simply be but a new form of normal to me.


End file.
